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Challenge #02883-G326: Learn Something, Guys

The dereggers owed him a lot of money. But they didn't want to pay. However, he knew a way to get what he wanted and get back at them at the same time. He wrote a contract, iron clad, and had both deregger and galactic witnesses to sign as well as the leadership, smilingly, signed over a solar system that was at the edge of their space in between their space and galactic space. And in the signing, he grinned.

It was a trash planet. Polluted, filthy, air unfit, water unclean, barely anything living.

It had been a trash planet, covered in centuries of detritus the dereggers ditched there, garbage they now just shot into their solar system's sun because it was cheaper than sending it here.

He had a dream, he had a vision, and a planet to turn from a pariah into paradise.

When the DeReggers saw the verdant, green, healthy planet that was a havenworld-like paradise, well, let's just say they regretted signing that contract. -- TrashToTreasure

The difference between garbage and treasure is all in who values what. Dereggers are famous for routinely throwing out anything they don't like but is valued by others. Lots of them devalue the weirdest stuff. Like half the population. Or, in this case, lots of biomass. Food waste is definitely a thing for a lot of Dereggers and for a solid century or so, it was more profitable for them to just chuck everything they didn't want onto one garbage planet on the edge of their territorial claim. Food, defunct technology. Honestly, Humans get very wasteful when they have entire solar systems of resources at their disposal. They drained off the chemistry of an entire gas giant to fertilise their crops. Then they went shopping for a system full of gas giants.

You wouldn't believe it if it wasn't so real for so long and in so many places. Heck, some of it's still going. So. Long story short, this mob of Dereggers was defaulting on their bills so hard that the combined forces of the Alliance were breathing down their necks. It wasn't until the CRC decided to withhold "additional genetic information" - translated, more gene patterns for their gengineered women - that they finally relented and began to negotiate.

Small shock that this Deregger colony, like every other Deregger colony ever, had vastly inflated their holdings and couldn't actually hand across the value they initially promised. I know. I shouldn't have believed them. But here's the trick. This was exactly what I was aiming for. In exchange for a public apology across all of their networks for one week, I would be willing to settle for a trash system they had bordering agreed Alliance shipping lanes. They thought I was a born sucker.

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Challenge #02882-G325: Forging ahead

The human was highly recommended by everyone the crew asked when it came to being a security officer. They were diligent, highly intelligent, made friends easily, in fact many of the crew still talked to them from time to time. The only caveat tended to be, they didn't want normal crew quarters to sleep in, they always asked for a storage bay. Why? Well, they collected blades. But not all blades, only unique ones. But that wasn't the only reason.

I decided

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Challenge #02881-G324: Ten Siwu's of Trouble

"Of course I understand why you don't want more than one human on the ship. Back home we kept a guardian goose with the chickens." -- Anon Guest

Humans and their metaphors, am I right? Half of them are domestic animal excrement, but which half? The really scary part about these balding Deathworlder apes is that the half with a grounding in reality has the high potential to be truly terrifying.

Look this stuff up at your own risk, is what I'm

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Challenge #02880-G323: Like Sands Through the Hourglass

"Our soap operas are weird. Yours are incomprehensible." -- Anon Guest

[AN: All soap operas are wont to escalate into incomprehensibility when given enough time]

"Beshenia, I love you, but I can't be with you," said the figure in the holo display. "I tried to keep it hidden, but... I'm your descendant from the future, and it would be incest."

"WHAT?" said half the watchers in the room. The other half made gestures of victory and cheered, "CALLED IT!" Which sparked so

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Challenge #02879-G322: A Bad Influence

She grew up in the slums of a DeRegger colony. But her family wasn't like most of those here. What little funds they got, they used for books - though carefully hidden. She was forced to dress, and act, like a boy to fool the rulers. The small family, two sons, their father, and her, were all very well educated and well-read. And they believed it was time for a true change to this brutal regime. But to do that, more people

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Challenge #02878-G321: I'm Doing My Best Over Here

If I had a dollar for every time a extra-dimensional portal appeared and gave me powers, I would have two. Which isn’t much, but it’s weird that it happened twice. -- Anon Guest

Did you know it kind'a sucks to be able to recognise an extradimensional stick with a human on it[1]? I can tell you for free that it creeps me out every single time. The first time, I was five and thought my kindergarten teacher was a

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Challenge #02877-G320: Just Because You Can...

time to get spooky -- Anon Guest

[AN: Video linked is some very clever stop animation and I do NOT believe those are actual organic pumpkins. That would be WAY too involved for a piece of art that took months to make. Double cleverness is inventing Halloween lyrics to fit in with Hall of the Mountain King]

Human creativity knew no bounds. One of their favourites was creating the impossible. Inanimate vegetable matter should not have expressions. Once carved to have expressions,

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Challenge #02876-G319: Horror of the Baby-Sat

Parent: Thank you so much for agreeing to watch the baby for me. Also, I'm sorry.

Babysitter: Sorry for what?

Parent: The baby has worked out how to do vocal distortion.

Baby: G̷͕̯̻̎̓̉͛̑̀̂̇̀̐͋͘͘͝a̶̢̰͇͇̱͂̉͋́̓͐̂̃͂́́ ̷̧̖̝̱̽̈́͠ǵ̸̢à̴̳̲͍́̀͛̓̃͘̚͝ͅͅ -- Anon Guest

Parrots and very small children seem to share two common interests. The first is an apparent desire to destroy the universe around them via unexpected means. The second is the Dissonance Joke.

The otherwise cute and adorable Human toddler in Companion Lua's

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Challenge #02875-G318: Drastic Action

So about 8 months ago security forces kept seeing these reflective belts in the brush and they would go to chase them and they would keep getting away so finally somebody realized that there were reflective belts on the deer. So they catch one of these deer and there's names on these belts. Apparently the marines had been tackling the deer and putting belts on them they would of gotten away with it to but they left their names. -- Anon Guest

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Challenge #02874-G317: Best Danger Noodle

Humans have interesting pets. Sometimes small, even almost harmless even by havenworld standards, sometimes terrifying. This human had one that was at the terrifying end. As they came aboard a ship of saurians, across their shoulders was a snake that was as nearly long as their body and very heavy. It seemed, however, content to remain curled there while the person introduced them to "little slinky." A snake they'd raised from an egg. -- DaniAndShalii

[AN: Submission included a picture of an

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Challenge #02873-G316: A Puzzling Sample

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M6ZjMWLqJvM -- Anon Guest

The Archivaas are primarily Human. One of the few sects of Human obsession that made hoarding work for them. They will, like most Humans, adopt anyone who shares their compulsion. Compulsions are not always healthy, but the Archivaas work hard to make theirs as healthy as possible.

Always be wary of an order capable of re-ordering entire solar systems so they can store their collections. They're very capable of being dangerous if

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Challenge #02872-G315: Small Thrills, Big Day

A human's friend has been begging them for months to take them to Earth to a local event. Something that all humans could enjoy in one form or another. Something that was fun for all humans but didn't involve large explosions or things being destroyed. The human thought for a long moment and smiled, they had the most perfect idea. And that is how this level one havenworlder ended up sitting and trying deep fried cheese curds and onion rings for the

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Challenge #02871-G314: Cause and Effect

Haiku can be strange

Five, seven, and five again

Refrigerator -- Anon guest

There were magnets with words on them. Yet another Human invention that could be used for long-term communication and yet was still used for random art. For instance, the poetic form on the communal chilled food store. A thing that described itself and was still a joke. Typically Human.

Companion Zue considered the words scattered around the magnetic surface, and thought about the message she might leave for the

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Challenge #02870-G313: Double-edged Blade

I was Baptized twice. Once in water, once in flame. I survived because the fire within me burn brighter than the fire around me. -- Joshua Graham

There's a reason why certain peoples are fire resistant. Their ancestry is in flames, their genome comes from an active cauldera. There are pyres in their souls. Those who claim to have souls, anyway. Some have given up on laying claim to souls.

It's the way of worlds with magic in their bones. Be dragon-kin

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Challenge #02869-G312: Tolerance Levels

Human A: "Try this!"

Human B: "Is it hot?"

Human A: "No."

Human B: "Your not hot, or my not hot?"

Human A: "...it's not hot."

Human B: "..." takes a bite

Nonhuman Cremember: "Why is Human B crying while guzzling milk?"

Human A: "It's not hot!"

Human B: (takes a moment to stop guzzling milk)(snot and tears running down face) "I'm sensitive to capsaicin, and you eat raw ghost peppers for fun! Your 'not hot' is not my 'not hot'!" (goes

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