Friendship

A 5-post collection

Challenge #02229-F039: Special Talents

"Am I weird?"

"Yes, that's why we get along." -- Anon Guest

They say things like, There's always one, or, Strange is as strange does; but what they generally mean by that is, Look at the statistical outlier. It's not always done with malice, but it certainly feels that way when one is on the receiving end. For those who experience this sort of thing first hand, it's interesting how the statistical outliers are reviled and expelled from groups as "too strange" or other disparaging remarks... until such time as that outlier factor becomes useful in some way.

Such as, for instance, a morbid fascination with all things Human. This was Gurx's weird hobby in their youth, and now had become an asset aboard the Skulk and Sniff as it plied the asteroid fields of Nenkus IV. Now, instead of being, "creepily fascinated," or, "ghoulish," Gurx was now, "so good with them," and, "so capable with communicating between species." Which just goes to show how cogniscents everywhere are willing to reclassify unusual traits as soon as they become blatantly necessary.

Gurx had an able command of Human phraseologies, sayings, and memetic communications that bordered as close to expert as anyone could get without certification from a Xeno-communications course at a top-level educational establishment. Since she didn't have such certifications, the corporate body behind the Skulk and Sniff's mission could excuse lowering their overall costs because Gurx's education was freelance[1]. Explaining this to the Humans took some time, but they understood entirely too well.

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Challenge #01956-E132: Impressive, But...

"Hmm... I'm impressed."

"I/We thought you'd like it."

"I said I was impressed, not that I like it." -- TheDragonsFlame

There are certain things that were just... impressive. A cellar full of drunk middle-schoolers chanting Fuck da police whilst a policeman is present. Singing, This is me giving a shit, in front of a man who has the power of life and death over you after he has just attempted to insult you. Staging a resistance against a superior force, alone,

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Challenge #01814-D353: A Deal's a Deal

A lonely person sells their soul to Satan to be their friend —phantomrose96, tumblr(?) -- TheDragonsFlame

"Anything your heart desires," said the lord of all evil. The standard contract was not only long but in incredibly myopic print. The only legible words were, sign here. "All for one little thing that you're not even certain could exist."

"I only want one thing," Marvin said, signing his name in blood. "A good friend."

Lucifer raised an eyebrow. "Oh... kay? Eternity of torment after

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Challenge #01527-D066: Virtual Friend

'Sixty-two years old, and you find a kindred spirit in a block of programming,' they thought wryly, shaking their head. -- RecklessPrudence

It hadn't started that way, of course. Her grandchildren had got her into the video games. Things had gone a long way since the Space Invaders. There was no more coin in the slot or press A to start, to begin with. She could play by typing on the keyboard, and the machine code understood her and responded.

Denny

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Challenge #01045-B313: Inexplicable In-Jokes

Did we ever figure out why you can't stop laughing whenever I say the word "pineapple"? -- Gallifreya

Giggles filled the break room. Of course they did. The inherently funny word had been uttered. They managed to stop.

"I dunno, to be honest. It's just a ridiculous fruit. The entire rest of the world calls them Ananas. They're nothing like an apple. They never came from a pine tree[1]. I mean - English language, what the ever-loving flip?"

"Maybe it sounded

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