Anxiety

A 24-post collection

Swing and a miss

Just when I get into the swing of things, the pendulum shifts and everything goes agley all over again.

Beloved is taking off in the early-early morning, before I can even badger the kids into getting their lunchboxes together. Which means no morning exercises. Which means finding a time in the afternoon to go do it.

Which hasn't happened, so far.

Tomorrow evening, we should be walking around the blocks, again. Starting with the long block and, if we can, going around the short block too.

On the plus side, I have just invented the eBook Stick. I tried reducing the cover for The Amity Incident to keychain sized... and failed. The end result was a blobby imitation of the cover that was a little tiny bit too small for the actual keychain cavity despite my best efforts to get all the measurements right.

I could do Shrinky Dinks, and make a Shrinky Dink cover keychain for the USB stick that contains every possible format. Which might be better. If I can make our printer print on to #6 recyclable plastic. I need to find out if that can be a thing.

I might need to work on that a little bit more. But Chaos' school has the first two prototypes.

Woot.

Time wears on between me and my potential agent. Part of my brain expects the established pattern of rejection any day now. Whenever I see that an email's come in, I have a little bit of a panic session until I open it and find out that, once again, someone wants to sell me some shit I don't want.

The closer it gets to March the Eighth, the more anxious I'm going to be about it. Until I'm rejected or... I really hope... accepted. Fingers crossed.

But I'm scared of failing again, and I'm really scared of succeeding. I'm not used to that part.

Gotta start somewhere.

Deep sigh...

I'm having a hump day. Very much aware of all the things I really should get done but also depend on the actions of others.

I need to get Adapting out to my beta readers. Or that writing group who could allegedly help if they didn't hate science fiction. BUT - I need Beloved to get it reader-ready because nobody but your own, strange and humble martian actually uses Pages for the Mac. [And even then, not for much longer. I'm now

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Getting committed

No, the men in the nice white shirts with the interesting coat for me to wear have not turned up to take me away. I made myself sit down and actually line up the things I am going to get for my blossoming jewellery shop.

Yes, dear readers, Every Girl Deserves Beautiful is going to become a thing!

My primary focus will be pride earrings1, but I can also do steampunky charm earrings or just intricate shiny things that are not

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Procrastination!

I should be getting a nice shopping cart full of findings from AliExpress, but I'm dawdling. I'm thinking too hard about the simplest things I could make versus the things I should be selling. I need to think bare minimum whilst a majority of my culch is missing without a trace. Which I find personally very annoying.

Very annoying things stick with me too well. I remember a large assortment of betrayals and unintentional cruelty towards me... and I remember things like

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Juggling Life

I had a bit of a row with Beloved about money again. Domestic arguments always seem to start with income and inlaws. But this time, it included outgoing moneys as well.

I'm a frugal little bean and I try not to have extravagant expenditure. I try to get as much as I can out of as little as possible, and going over that allotment makes me sad, angry, and bitter. Especially when I've done my best scrimping, only to find that Beloved

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Ugh

Dentist appointment, today. Gonna get that plaque scraped off my teeth et cetera. And told that I might lose my front teeth if I'm not careful.

I'm being careful as much as I can, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have to get artificial incisors. Sooner or later, it's going to happen. It's pretty much inevitable.

Fortunately, my dentist is just as invested in me keeping my teeth as I am.

What I am going to do is drag my little

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LUGGAGE!

Ok so I'm only allowed one small suitcase and one carry-on.

The small suitcase is BARELY big enough to hold the hatbox.

If I'm careful about how I pack, I can fit a lot of my cosplay extras in with the hat.

BUT - the makeup containers I have are too messy to go in with the hat [maybe if I ziplocked them into baggies?] and too big to go down the sides with other, more compactable things.

There's no real room

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It's 4AM and my life sucks a little

Got woken up by another asthma attack at two in the morning and didn't take a nebuliser dose until 3. I'm going to need another dose long about 6AM. This is indeed a Bad Air Day.

I'm now worried that I may cause alarm and despondency if I need to use my machine in public at Tucson. And to that end, I've warned Miss Bennett about me and put an FAQ on my phone.

I still have no idea if Bunny sees

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Dry run day today

It’s Friday. The last school day before I’m off to strange lands.

So, of course, I’m making Hubby do everything I usually do whilst I’m here to supervise ‘cause I’m a paranoid B.

So far he’s woken up Chaos [Autistic, age 6] to come on a walk with him, Mayhem and the hound, and then left her lag behind 'cause I was there to hold her hand. Not encouraging,

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