Amalgam Universe

Challenge #02666-G109: Perplexing Perambulation

"Necessity is the mother of invention... Boredom is the father." -- SilverRey

So many inventions happen because their inventor thinks that they are vital. Others occur because they will create a tactical advantage against an enemy. Some rare and interesting inventions happen because the creator had nothing better to do.

Case in point - weird vehicles.

People don't need a bicycle that walks on feet, nor do they need a chariot drawn by crab-like legs. They don't need a powered boat with oars that operate like turtle flippers. That said, once they are built, everyone seems to want one. Well... Everyone who's a Human.

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Challenge #02665-G108: Temporal Theory vs Reality

In today's episode of "Fun with Wormholes!" we will discuss how most people's family lines are actually Mobius Strips! -- SilverRey

Today in Fun With Wormholes, we explain how it's theoretically possible to be your own descendant. It all begins with one simple graph... An X-Y axis graph where one axis is time and the other is distance. On it, a line is travelling away from zero at a slight incline relative to time.

Here is our hypothetical traveller, moving at close

Challenge #02664-G107: Killing Philosophy

"Ain't no kill like overkill." -- SilverRey

When there is no diplomatic recourse. When trade restrictions fail. When there are no other alternatives... they send in the humans. A small team, an individual, an army... Humans are sent in to deal with the problem.

Pinpoint accuracy is preferred, but there are other times... regrettable times, when one despot will simply be replaced with another. The revolution comes full circle with another power-hungry iron fist in charge, promoting those who agree with them,

Challenge #02663-G106: All Signs Point to...

"OK. This place is disgusting. I don't think there is enough bleach on the planet to make it safe..."

"I found this stuff! It was in the cleaning section, and while I can't read anything on it it has a 5 page booklet of what I think are warnings... At least all the skull and crossbones and hazard signs look like warnings."

"Grab three. Anything with that many warnings has to be good." -- SilverRey

There are reasons why some hulks are

Challenge #02662-G105: Bring Your Own Roadblock

"Speak softly and carry a big stick; you will go far." - Roosevelt -- SilverRey

Welcome to Pantibole Prime. Mind how you go. Picture, if you will, a planet divided. For centuries, the Ventith and the Tigraas have been, if not at war, then at minimum intense rivalry since their history began. It has always been aquas against magentas. Either in bloody war, guerilla conflict, or beating the pants off the opposing side in sportsball... there has always been a rivalry between

Challenge #02661-G104: Sorry to Cause a Fuss

Human to Alien: Could you please have the head of engineering come here? Don't worry, nothing is wrong. I just... saw a way to improve this! I am holding it so I don't lose track on the spot I want to talk to them about. Please hurry... I don't want to "forget" what I want to tell them.

Human to Engineer: So... Please keep this quiet. I don't want to cause a panic and make this worse... But, if I let go

Challenge #02660-G103: Minimising All Possible Harm

"Don't fix what's not broken."

"If it's not broken, you haven't tested it enough." -- SilverRey

If it ain't broke, don't fix it.
If it isn't broken, test it some more. -- Conflicting Human Axioms.

Some things need fixing before they break. Emergency services anticipate even the ridiculous emergencies so that they can be ready before they happen. This has lead to the 'zombie plague' and 'black hole' plans in the emergency systems all over Alliance space.

Zombie Plague has been on

Challenge #02659-G102: Alexandria in Amber

A pre-shattering time capsule is found on Earth. In 2019, the time capsule was put into a cavern that was deliberately collapsed back in that prehistory era only to be opened, slowly, by centuries of erosion and earth shifts. Several teachers and historians carefully gathered text books, history books from around the world, old newspapers, maps, copied old scrolls, various sets of encyclopedias, bibles from as many cultures as possible, books on languages from around the world, to name but a few

Challenge #02658-G101: Doing All They Can

The escape pod came down hard. The small crew of havenworlders, and the one human, now on an unfamiliar planet. The planet, itself, was more or less safe enough except for one tiny thing. The same explosion that had crippled the ship, caused by odd electrical storms the planet periodically suffered sending lightning sprites into the air, also had caused flash-burns across the human's face, they couldn't see. The medic cleaned the injury and wrapped bandage around the human's face, but the

Challenge #02656-G099: Holding On

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=gCQyKJr6pJA Aliens often forget the Power we can have, when we WANT to Hang on to something. -- Anon Guest

[AN: Holy shit, that's terrifying. Offensensitivity warning for fear of heights and physical injury]

"There's only enough capacity in the lifeboat for seven. How do you plan on coming with us?"

The Ships' Human, having fought to the last enemy, just grinned. "Outside," said Human Karth. "I can hang on for long enough. Don't worry about

Challenge #02654-G097: A Surpassed Reminder

When we drink, we get drunk.

When we get drunk, we fall asleep.

When we fall asleep, we commit no sin.

When we commit no sin, we go to heaven.

So, let's all get drunk, and go to heaven! -- Anon Guest

This was a decorative plaque found in the ruins. Unremarkable, save for the fact that most of it was legible, and didn't necessitate reconstruction. There were thousands like it. Almost one in every ruined home. Just like the ones with

Challenge #02653-G096: Blandishments for the Bland

Anything else with CLARC?

(Sorry about the blast from the past. Slowly getting fully caught up.) -- SilverRey

[AN: Nothing to apologise for. I love that you love the old stuff enough to deliver some inspiration. Hopefully you're reading faster than a story a day ;) ]

Every fleet has its screw-ups, every force has its dead weight. They may also serve who stand and wait, but those who sit on their butts with a finger up an orifice are not doing anyone any

Challenge #02652-G095: Never Going Gently

The question has been around since the beginning of analytical thought, but has become ever more perplexing since the arrival of humans, to philosophers across the galaxy...

Deathworlders, in Comparison to Havenworlders, are Incredibly short lived. and Humans, even excepting acts of self sacrifice, attempts at Darwin awards, and general mishappenings, a regular human has an expected lifespan of 90 to 110 standard years in optimal conditions. compared to the Hundreds that most Havenworlders live, (or as many humans put it, merely

Challenge #02651-G094: Noise Worth Sleeping to

"I am sorry to bother you, but would you mind if I took a nap while you are here? You don't need to change what you are doing or anything. It is just to... loud... when I am by myself." -- SilverRey

Hejiq startled out of their work mentality to stare at the Ship's Human, Dem. They were wearing colourful insulation over their Ships' Skins known to Humans as a 'kigu', and this one was patterned to match the standard Skitty. Human

Challenge #02649-G092: What Works For Some

A species that usually has mated groups of 3 or more, but never less, and upon meeting two bonded Humans and understanding there is no third is all prepared to be appropriately sympathetic for their Human’s loss of mate(s) -- Anon Guest

[AN: Reminder to all readers that Polyamory between consenting parties is a legitimate relationship option for Humans as well as alien life]

"Marriage is a sacred bond between three to five people. No more, no less." -- Xyltarxian

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A 2336-post collection

Challenge #02666-G109: Perplexing Perambulation

Challenge #02665-G108: Temporal Theory vs Reality

Challenge #02664-G107: Killing Philosophy

Challenge #02663-G106: All Signs Point to...

Challenge #02662-G105: Bring Your Own Roadblock

Challenge #02661-G104: Sorry to Cause a Fuss

Challenge #02660-G103: Minimising All Possible Harm

Challenge #02659-G102: Alexandria in Amber

Challenge #02658-G101: Doing All They Can

Challenge #02656-G099: Holding On

Challenge #02654-G097: A Surpassed Reminder

Challenge #02653-G096: Blandishments for the Bland

Challenge #02652-G095: Never Going Gently

Challenge #02651-G094: Noise Worth Sleeping to

Challenge #02649-G092: What Works For Some