Amalgam Universe

Challenge #02687-G130: In Memory of-- Oh Wait

Human: What's everybody so upset about?

Crew: You're here? But you told the Last Lie!

Human: Don't you know me by now? I really hate lying. -- Anon Guest

"Wait," said Human Jef. "Are you mad that I'm alive?"

This quickly turned the mood, but not by much. "Of course not," said Companion Ryl. "We were mourning your loss when you turned up at your own memorial."

"And you were saying such nice things about me until you said, Oh flakking hell, there she is like a stray Powers-damned cat. I'm starting to think you don't like me."

Companion Ryl took a deep breath. "We're not mad at you," ze began. "We're mad that we spent so much emotional energy on a falsehood."

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Challenge #02686-G129: Small Messy Disruptive Creatures

It goes about on all fours, eats kibble, and gets into the trash to chew on things. Is it a dog, or a human infant? The answer is yes. And in this instance, we're very glad it was the baby, because there was cocoa powder in the trash can, and she was chewing through garbage to get to it. -- Anon Guest

Human Diz was looking even more tired than normal, and they had been tired for almost a year, but this

Challenge #02685-G128: Little, Yellow, Different

She was heavy-set, had a constant cough, but otherwise was very quiet. The human that signed aboard the science vessel was younger than they'd ever had before as an officer. The only reason it had been allowed was her parents had signed a statement saying they agreed to allow her to go and all tests indicated that she could handle the job. Botanical scientist. Her friends always called her "botany geek", to which she'd smile, laugh, and then cough. When the medics

Challenge #02684-G127: Winner Winner?

I don't know if this even a thing in other parts of Earth, but in my country very popular thing is eating cartilage from chicken legs just like every other part of meat. Foreigners are saying that this sound is the most disturbing one they ever heard. It's like very loud cracking bone.

What if herbivore heard this sound and automatically just started to look for predator in absolute terror? -- Anon Guest

[AN: Oh holy freaking Powers That Be, my daughter

Challenge #02682-G125: Safe As...

An underground facility made as comfortable as possible. However, this is an unusual place, part state-of-the-art hospital, part apartment building. The walls are soft, there are no sharp corners, the floors are soft, anything hard that can be covered with soft, is covered. There is nothing sharp here. There are dozens upon dozens of apartments in this place, and all of them the same. Soft. But there is a reason for this.

This is the facility that houses and cares for Bad

Challenge #02681-G124: Centuries of Facepalming

You hear of them all the time, seeing them screaming on the interwebs, doing podcasts, videos, protesting when new vaccines show up. When the immunoflu was invented, they screamed even louder. That is when the "pure lifers" started. The ones who kept themselves in the equivalent of "bubbles" to avoid them, and their children, ever catching the immunoflu. A large number of them went to a planet to settle in and live. The planet was, if not for the terraformed domes, uninhabitable.

Challenge #02680-G123: Small, Cute, and Terrifying

Doctor: Human, you need to take it easy. Rest. Don't do anything strenuous for the next week.

Human: Alright, I'll stay at home and watch the kids.

Doctor: From what I know of human young, that is strenuous. -- Escla

[AN: Pffffft...]

The Humans had a saying for everything. Some have been adjusted slightly to be more inclusive, but the relevant one in this time and space was, No being is an island. Perhaps, with an added dash of, It takes a

Challenge #02679-G122: Wonder No More

Have you ever walk past someone and wonder what is going on inside their head -- Anon Guest

[AN: Link to a Rickroll has been expunged. Thanks Nonny. Be proud. You got me.]

Every now and again, some species, somewhere, thinks it would be cool to be telepathic. The Melil, natural telepaths, do attempt to stop others from doing this to themselves because it really, really isn't a good idea.

Those without natural telepathy have no reason to filter their random thoughts.

Challenge #02678-G121: The Terrors of Deathworlds

A researcher had been extremely curious and wanted to know why humans were, well, the way they were. They poured over notes, histories, field reports, everything they could get their hands on. The humans that volunteered for experiments were always told "You can call it quits at any time." And, after a while, the humans always let him know when they'd had enough. To which he'd thank them, pay them and let them know his immense gratitude for their hard work, and

Challenge #02677-G120: A Mind of Their Own

The war rages, bodies fell left and right, were they man or monster? They do not know, for the the line that separated them blurred centuries ago. -- Anon Guest

Someone, somewhere, is re-inventing the Enlisted Man again. When will they learn, huh? -- Elsyn Flaard comedy routine.

Some creatures, the unethical gengineers argue, are made for battle. With the right tweaks, they could become the most formidable fighting force in Alliance space. Then, they could make the majority decisions, and on

Challenge #02676-G119: Hot, Brown, and Horrifying

There are many unspoken laws across the galaxy. Don’t provoke a calm man. Fear the wrath of a protective mother. Don’t take any of Human Girth's drinks. Ok maybe not that the last one but it only applies to one ship. -- Anon Guest

Welcome aboard the Poke And Run, do not accept beverages from the Ship's Human. You do not want to know why. Even though we know you'll say you do. The usual rules of space travel apply:

Challenge #02675-G118: The Bad Old Ways

A human got tired of the crew saying that humans are insane, so they decide to show their crew what true human insanity looks like by taking them on a field trip to the nearby insane asylum. (Bonus points if Said asylum happens to be Arkham Asylum.) -- Cheshire

[AN: Punishing the mentally disabled for being mentally disabled is not the best way to deal with that sort of thing. Besides, insanity is a matter of perspective, as I keep stating in

Challenge #02674-G117: Planet Pet-it

Whole planets dedicated to humans need to touch things. They range from your typical cat cafe walking with elephants, to even swimming with sharks. And that's just the animals from earth! Each plant has a different variety of species to accommodate any human, Making them a great alternative for humans who keep touching the unknown animals on equally unknown planets. -- Anon Guest

Humans look with their hands. This is a known, if confusing fact. Humans have reasonably reliable senses that use

Challenge #02673-G116: A Calm and Hostile Takeover

She was an avid inventor, had been ever since she was a small child. She had been born on a world controlled by DeReggers but her family had moved away from that place and into Galactic Alliance space finally settling on a haven world that allowed for havenworlders and deathworlders to live together. When she was 9, she'd found a way to improve upon the translators that allowed for better communication with other species. When she was 13, she'd graduated from school

Challenge #02672-G115: Back From the Deepest Well

It had been years since ze had been seen last, though not nearly as long as had been estimated, wagered or theorised. When a derelict, cobbled together ship limped into The Blackstump research station. it had seemed to come from come from beyond what was known and explored space, and from the entirely the wrong direction from which the occupant was last seen.

The Return of Andi the Undying

https://steemit.com/fiction/@internutter/challenge-02156-e327-they-ll-be-back -- Adam in Darwin

The ship was

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A 2280-post collection

Challenge #02687-G130: In Memory of-- Oh Wait

Challenge #02686-G129: Small Messy Disruptive Creatures

Challenge #02685-G128: Little, Yellow, Different

Challenge #02684-G127: Winner Winner?

Challenge #02682-G125: Safe As...

Challenge #02681-G124: Centuries of Facepalming

Challenge #02680-G123: Small, Cute, and Terrifying

Challenge #02679-G122: Wonder No More

Challenge #02678-G121: The Terrors of Deathworlds

Challenge #02677-G120: A Mind of Their Own

Challenge #02676-G119: Hot, Brown, and Horrifying

Challenge #02675-G118: The Bad Old Ways

Challenge #02674-G117: Planet Pet-it

Challenge #02673-G116: A Calm and Hostile Takeover

Challenge #02672-G115: Back From the Deepest Well