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Amalgam Universe

A 2288-post collection

Challenge #02007-E183: Confounding Convergence

'Don't be silly', snapped Mara, 'cows have 6 legs'. (Mara from Feists 'Empire' trilogy, goes with Kevin to Midkemia) -- Anon Guest

[AN: Another book series I will likely forget to find and read. Whoops. I'm still trying to get into GoT...]

Yan stopped cold and stared her fellow human. "We are talking about the same animal, right? Terran origin mammal, about yae tall," she gestured with her hand. "Goes 'moo'. Herbivorous. Four stomachs. Gives milk?"

"Uh. No. I have no idea what you're talking about," said Jorg. "Cows live on the kelp in the tidal flats and go 'krrrt'. They're amphibious hexapods with a chitinous exoskeleton. You got the herbivorousness and the milk thing right, though." This last part said as if Jorg were handing out partial points.

This almost blew Yan's mind. "Where are you from again?"

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Challenge #02006-E182: He's a Griefer

“How could you?"

“I trusted you and, and you played me!”

“Like the cheap kazoo you are” -- Anon Guest

Some tasks are harder than others. Some efforts are purely emotional. And by the end of this mission to Zangress Four, Arlo was feeling weak as a kitten despite having all her health stats in peak range. The explorer she'd been hired to escort, Thuxx, had managed to make it through all kinds of potential hazards, including being one of those types

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Challenge #02005-E181: One Line to Cross

Humans are walking biohazard to everyone and everything. Our saliva can cause several pandemics alone is unchecked. If our gut is punctuated, the bacteria (and acid) inside us will eat us alive, not to mention whoever else may come into contact with it.

What happens when the galactic community first learns about this fact?

What happens when a human is found with an open gut wound that has been left untreated? -- Anon Guest

Humans will risk their lives for the beings

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Challenge #02004-E180: Nice... Dog?

How do alien ambassadors to earth first react to trying to translate/figure out what is a dog and what isn’t? At this point it’s a minor policy at the embassy to just assume all furred quadrupeds smaller than a horse are dogs. -- Anon Guest

Terra's first unofficial ambassador was the dog. Closely followed by the cat. The cat was simply pest control, but the dog... there are few species of Terran origin that are more versatile. Some Havenworlders

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Challenge #02003-E179: Sibling Ribaldry

How would aliens react to human-human relationships? Particularly close ones (best friends, romantic partners) where affection is mainly shown through quips and teasing? -- Anon Guest

Humans are pack animals. When enlisting Humans on to your vessel, one may consider the benefits of recruiting Humans who are already deeply bonded with each other. -- Galactic Advice Manual, The Care and Maintenance of Humans.

Humans accustomed to space tended to have monosyllabic names. Many were pronounceable by most Galactics. Such was the case

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Challenge #02002-E178: Double Scheherazade

Alien crew explores a likely-haunted spaceship wreck they found floating around -- TheDragonsFlame

Afterlives are one of the more complicated cultural complications in Galactic Society. Though citizens are not encouraged to insist on inserting their beliefs into others' heads, the topic of assorted beliefs is not taboo, either. One is expected to not judge, and not be judged in return. For instance: most cultures believe that some form of animated spirit persists after the mortal shell is deceased. Where it goes and

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Challenge #02001-E177: Ghosts... In... Space!

Alien crew spots ghost ship (not the derelict/abandoned kind, more like the ship itself is one of the ghosts) -- TheDragonsflame

In an infinite universe, all things are possible. The nature of time and events therein is cyclical. Of those tautologies, spaceport stories are made. This one just happens to come with documentation.

They were light years from civilisation, of course and without an accurate means of contacting anyone, of course. Because nothing interesting happens in the middle of civilisation with

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Challenge #01999-E175: Versatility

If at first you don't succeed, use a bigger hammer. -- Anon Guest

Thackians believed in hammers. Most societies prefer to believe in things which could not be proven to exist or not exist, but Thackians believed in hammers. Most importantly, they believed that there were few problems that the right kind of hammer couldn't solve.

This has caused much confusion amongst others. At least until Linguistics Professor Gorx decided to spend some time with them and analyse their usage and history

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Challenge #01997-E173: With Understanding

Considering many herbivores on earth are gigantic and fully capable of hurting us “predators”, how would a group of humans handle a diplomatic encounter with a council of large, all herbivore, prey-species, in order to convince them to join the larger space society?

We need them to trust us but also respect us.

Fear is a powerful tool indeed. -- Anon Guest

Havenworlders amble gently into cogniscence and cautiously dip their toes into space travel. They are, by nature, the species most

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Challenge #01996-E172: Can't Get Worse/It Got Worse

Spiders covered every inch of every surface all the way to the airlock. The terror and the events that followed have only now been released. -- Anon Guest

The humans did not flinch from battle. Entire civilisations in their history had trained their minds for combat and strategy. They did not quail at injured Galactics. They trained for this all their lives. Providing emergency care at the site to get them stable and movable, and then stuffing them into care pods to

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Challenge #01995-E171: Dangerous Beasts

This isn’t my prompt but I’d like to see what you can do with it.

“I don’t want to know who I was. Before... before... before I was kidnapped as a child,” ze says, and there’s something pained in zir dark eyes. “A happy, drooling kid. Or whatever. Look- if I- if I wasn’t always this way, bitter and angry, that means xe won. That xe changed me. Made me into a new being. I can’t

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Challenge #01993-E169: The Protection Experiment

Considering the terrifying methods our immune system uses to keep us safe, can you please write a story about how aliens first dealt with human diseases (probably something that has a high mutation rate) that jumped the species barrier?

How did they deal with the pandemic (think of what smallpox did in North America) their own immune systems were unprepared for? How did they handle what they found when they researched the crazy human immune system?

Autoimmune disorders?? -- Anon Guest

If

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Challenge #01992-E168: Show Me the Way...

Pre-human contact, a single human accidentally finds themselves in space, and the single most powerful being there to boot. They don’t use their powers for good or evil though, they just really enjoy messing with the other sentients, good and bad alike. Please write a story about how this human deals with the various attempts to get rid of them. (Diplomatic or through force) -- Anon Guest

I had to come to term with a few things. One: Alien abduction is

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Challenge #01989-E165: Pax Paradoxical

There is one place where nearly all species cohabit. It's not some planet capital or forsaken space station. It's a spa resort. This artificial planet is ideally place to naturally accommodate all type of species, with a wide range of temperature, humidity and luminosity. And when nearly 30% of your customers are part of the most "dangerous" Deathworlders, and high figure of all species came regularly here, let's say that it's also the safest place in existence. -- Anon Guest

There's only

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Challenge #01984-E160: All of Them?

A place is marked as “ No weapons allowed”.

One (or more) of the crew proceeds to spend a ridiculous amount of time removing all of the weapons from their being.

Cue terror and hilarity. -- Anon Guest

[AN: My favourite trope!]

"No, no, Human Jan. You do not check that your weapons are operational. You check them in. For safety and safekeeping."

"Right," said Human Jan. "Nobody has weapons, nobody can harm anyone. That's the theory, right?"

"That is the practice," sighed

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