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Realm of the InterNutter

Thoughts, stories and ideas.

TGIF?

Mayhem's sick enough to throw up. Chaos has a persistent cough. I have a lingering, gluey sensation in the back of my throat that means more firkin bronchial casts are destined to make my life hellish.

Ah, winter. Where are these alleged charms that people keep honking about?

My plns for a Kigurumi are on hold. Unless I want to go to the local shops and choose from their alleged range. Which is something that will happen towards the end of NEXT week, because we managed to pay $2k on settling BILLS.

I should be rounding up an array of SpecFic Lit Agents who do their business in New York, but I have a child at home. Which means a majority of my time will be spent making sure that Mayhem has few opportunities to enjoy himself.

I currently have him sorting the last of my beads. That's enough neck-ache for anyone.

I am seriously considering putting this site behind a Patreon. I'm doing daily content. If it's pay-to-access-while-fresh, then I have something resembling an income to help pay for tight spots like this one. Put it this way - we need $1K to pay for the house, and another something-hundred to keep us alive during the time between now and when we're paid next.

I have less than three hundred to pay for food and necessaries for the next week. And very few spoons because depressed about money.

If anyone who owns a multibillion-dollar company complains about how expensive it is to have employees, I will fucking smack them, I swear to the Powers...

And the worst thing about this particular squeeze is that all our money went on shit that we needed to pay for. Power. Water. Rates. Keeping things balanced on all sides. If we're barely keeping our heads up now, what will it be like when the megacorps have their way and re-introduce serfdom?

Meh. They'll probably have messed things up to the point where life at all is impossible by then. Powers, I'm cheerful today.

I'm going to make Mayhem clean the slow cooker, because I will guaranteed need it next week. I have to be as canny as hell to help us through next week. The week after is an entirely different story.

Challenge #01244-C149: Temptations Bakery Origin Story

http://cuppykin.tumblr.com/post/127886086419/how-nightmare-demon-met-his-gf

"How Nightmare Demon met his GF

Demon:MORTAL, you are a lucky one, I HAVE CHOSEN YOU TO BE MY DINNER FOR THIS EVENING, BEG IF YOU WANT BUT I'M TAKING YOUR SOUL AND BODY

Tiny GF:Oh, you're hungry? Well I just ate dinner by myself but I am making dessert.

Demon:Well I think you missed the point but-

Demon:I smell sweets

Tiny GF:They're fudge brownies, I usually eat them by

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Kigurumi!

It's probably Japanese for "Let's make white people look like absolute lunatics" and I don't care. What they are is grown-up sized onesie pyjamas in a variety of "funny animal" styles and I want all of them.

Some folks have taken to wearing them out in public and I can kind of see why. They are so cool! And they promise to be lovely and toasty warm, which is a thing that everyone in winter needs.

I can see the appeal for

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Challenge #01243-C148: Morning People

http://kenzyshipseverything.tumblr.com/post/126911368896/nicckpetricca-this-video-is-actually-my

Imagine your otp -- Anon Guest

Music was playing. Something ancient from the Vault, shared on something called a 'mix tape' by Ambassador Shayde into Lyr's personal file collection. Whatever it was, it was too jumpy to be morning music.

Jule attempted to burrow under the covers without moving much. Why his best-beloved had to be so darn frenetic on the mornings of her holidays was a mystery. This was their mutual time off. They

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Finally, mostly prepared

I have a nice set of gloves, now. And two pairs of socks to wear in my boots. And enough ginger ale to float a boat.

I should finally be able to shake these winter sniffles and ride out the rest of the cold season in relative comfort. Should.

Except that it's this bloody cold at the beginning of the season and I'm already entertaining thoughts of thermal underwear. I need to find all my polyester stuff because it's freaking perfect for

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Challenge #01242-C147: Confused in Translation

http://haberdashing.tumblr.com/post/143298955329/motorizedduck-translating-is-hard-work-even -- Gallifreya

"It is... ah... what is word? A means of communicating when no longer present. Wisdom to be passing down from generations. Time... pressed...into formats for sharing."

"That," said M'llix, "Sounds rather impressive."

"No. Not being impressive. Is much common," said the human. "So everywhere that is ignored. People using for profession considered not having real profession. Is basis for all entertainments, but overlooked. Children is learning from young age, mastery of such.

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It's fixed!

My car is up and able again and I now have emergency assistance. It became a thing somewhere between the time I go the car and months later, when I finally got a service.

I also had the biggest comedy of errors that anyone could hope to avoid. First - Beloved insisted I take the kids to school. On the one day that I definitely had Other Plans. Then, the car wouldn't start. So I had to nick Beloved's car while the

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Challenge #01241-C146: Useful Pretty

http://sinnamon-skull.tumblr.com/post/143302850386/villyre-headcanon-ford-got-out-of-90-of-his

(comic has gravity falls spoilers after "not what he seems") -- Gallifreya

On one hand, it was a little bit tiresome. On the other, it was damned convenient. All he had to do was make sure his glasses were in his pocket before they bundled him up for delivery and...

They tossed him onto his knees.

"So," said a soft voice. "This is the creature that Cipher wishes to eliminate? Huh."

Yep. Right on cue.

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This is why I need to be mobile

I'm taking my car in for a service, today. They usually occupy most of my frelling time. All day. Spinning my wheels. Followed by a mad rush in the evening to get my work, dinner, and kids done for the day.

Not today! For I have a fully-operational laptop and all my important documents in my Google Docs folder. Yay. I just have to make sure they're "fresh" before I set off.

Which means crossing the house, opening the lappy, refreshing every

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Challenge #01240-C145: New Tricks

I accidentally summoned a demon and have won the last 4 rounds of poker against it. -- Gallifreya

Sandy sighed and said, "You're not supposed to show me the cards and ask, 'how do I win?', Belphagor."

"You keep changing the rules," grumbled the demon.

"No, I keep telling you the same rules and you keep getting confused. Let's try again," Sandy reclaimed the cards and shuffled. "I thought the demons of hell were all about sinful stuff."

The demon brightened.

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Wish me luck

The rains of last night have buggered off and it's looking like it's going to be a lovely, sunny day. And today, Beloved is home, so I finally have a chance to edit KFZ and start trawling for agents.

New York is the place to look, apparently. Those are the agents with the global scope and reach.

Beloved's focus will be on making a thing to hold a pen so we can print out those earring cards at firkin last. But I

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Challenge #01239-C144: Read Before Signing

I accidentally summoned a demon -- Gallifreya

Belphagor looked around. It was a dusty old book shop. One of those poky little places that almost, but not quite, lead to another reality. The shopkeepers certainly seemed like they had once lived in one, and never quite got the hang of the new reality.

Facing him was an art student. They had to be an art student because the homeless tended to consume way less coffee. And your average bum tended to care

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Good morning

Once again, my fucked-up sleep cycle strikes in the wee small hours. I plan to use it to my advantage, though. You all get your instant story ahead of time, and I get a day of luxurious loafing.

The only downside for me is that I'll have to update my master files when I finally exit my bedroom. Yay for laptops, boo for non-cloud files.

Pretty sure the Google editor does rich text and not plain text. That could plausibly fuck up

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Challenge #01238-C143: Harrying the Harmful

"They turned me into a newt!"

"... You're a salamander."

"I got better." -- Gallifreya

[AN: A little tip of the hat-rack to Monty Python?]

The Swamps of Misdirection. The only way to escape them, once inside, was to follow confusing, convoluted, "can't miss it" directions to somewhere else. And worse - most of the animals in it were capable of speech.

"Beware, traveller! Beware! Dangerous sorcerers roam this swamp." The speaker was a small amphibian. Mostly black, but with interestingly bright speckles

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*Determination*

I am going to make something today. I am done with sorting the cabochons. The only pile of unsorted beads I have is a baggie of random reds, and I am not touching those until I have done. One. Firkin. PAIR.

I am going to make earrings until I am sick of it, or I have sample examples of each of my pride flag earrings firkin DONE. Whichever happens first.

Then, and only then, will I indulge my OCD aspect and sort

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