Realm of the InterNutter

Thoughts, stories and ideas.

Challenge #01217-C122: Curses!

:when a person who has been living with their curse for some time decides to stand up for the abused, and Sanctioned Mages try to put them down:

Spell slinging against a cursed one and a legendary sword. How hard can it be? -- RecklessPrudence

The words had come in anger and magic. Latching onto her soul. Devouring her destiny with simple words, "You will fail at every one of your stated goals."

It hadn't meant much, at first. Her goals had been simple and easy to fox. People had not been cruel to her about it. But the Sorceress Malevolentia's minions knew who their mistress had cursed and they were cruel about it.

They made young Dahlia promise them things that were easy to achieve, and punished her when she inevitably failed. And they laughed.

But what they didn't know was that Dahlia was clever. She went wandering, seeking out things that might help her curse. And then, when it became clear that her curse was unbreakable, she learned something important. Only the words she said mattered.

So whenever Dahlia stated her intent... she lied.

"If I were to explore that dungeon, I would leave the legendary sword where it lies. I only wish to see it." And of course she came away with the sword of legend.

"I have no desire to fight," and of course she emerged from the battlefield victorious.

"I cannot promise victory," and of course victory came.

And, after a battle she promised to fight to a stalemate, after breaching the castle she promised not to attack, after slaughtering the guards she promised to spare, Dahlia confronted Malevolentia.

"I've no desire to have my curse lifted," said Dahlia.

"Good," said Malevolentia. "I've no desire to lift it." She laughed. "They call you the Queen of Lies, now, little barmaid. That's quite an appellation. But did you honestly think that I would be included in your curse?"

"Did you honestly think I'd leave it at that? Fight me, then. See what I have."

And what she had was other curses. Other mages, outraged by her lies, had cursed her. They had cursed her well. And every single one of them could be used in her favour if she just thought about it.

And she also had a magic sword with no other purpose to strike into the heart of evil.

Dahlia had another appellation. The Cursed Queen. And she lived with that for the rest of her days.

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Party time!

I've done my math on the matter and I reckon we should take off for our party at the park long about 9. That gives us enough time to get there, fetch MeMum, and do any other setting up before everyone else gets there.

It's just immediate family. We had no time to invite friends. And it's probably for the best because Chaos gets overstimulated just thinking about parties. Having a host of folks, food, and presents there might make her vibrate

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Challenge #01216-C121: Not Under My Roof

There's the problem! You weren't thinking! Now you've made a pre-teen a nuclear power! -- RecklessPrudence

"In my defense," began Sara.

"You keep your big mouth shut," demanded Jaquelline.

"Will the both of you please be quiet?" asked Sam. "Do I need to bring out the talking stick?"

"There's no point. It doesn't work," said Sara. "Mother just rages off on a topic if someone says a hot word."

"Do you see the insolence of this child, Samuel? The things I have

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It's raining findings!

There's a definite difference between buying in person and buying online. And it could be solved with ONE solution.

An adult human hand.

Not everyone understands centimetres. Not everyone expects centimetres to pop up on a findings site where your average measurement is in millimetres.

So I've wound up with nonse like this:

[Shown here, a "feather" finding that overflows my palm]

[Shown here, a "leaf" finding as long as my pinkie finger]

The human hand is a universal indicator of scale.

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Challenge #01215-C120: Silver Spoon, Muck Manners

Just a moment. I have a multitude of extravagant ways of saying "no" to this, and I need to decide on one. -- RecklessPrudence

It had been the third time that this particularly unpleasant example had decided to interrupt an otherwise pleasant conversation. "No" was not in his vocabulary. Neither was "No, thank you." Both of those simple statements had been ignored.

So Lutetia said, "Just a moment. I have a multitude of extravagant ways of saying "no" to this, and I

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Busy Times

The weather is changing and I can literally feel it. The usual low pressure system warning has clung to my head in a band formation. Meaning that I ache across both eye sockets, my teeth, and the nape of my neck.

The chill turn of the weather doesn't help, either.

Something else has come by my mailbox, but I have to go and collect it locally. Which implies that it was too big to jam into the mailbox. Which, in turn, has

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Challenge #01214-C119: Don't Send Me an Angel

http://khaleesijade.tumblr.com/post/142561344474/what-do-angels-actually-look-like-per-the-bible

Angel: “FEAR NOT.”

Shepherds: screaming

Angel: “I SAID FEAR NOT.”

Shepherds: screaming LOUDER

Angel: “WHAT PART OF FEAR NOT ARE YOU NOT UNDERSTANDING?” -- Gallifreya

[AN: The link supplied contains images that might be disturbing to those who don't read biblical accounts of what angels look like]

From the Expurgated Gospel of Tebol the Shepherd:

And the Lord sent an Angel unto Tebol, and the Angel had unto itself twelve wings, half of them like

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My calendar is full

Driving to and from Tullagawupwup. 3AM wake-up against my will. A dire need for coffee and a dire need for air.

And one of my nineteen parcels arrived, but it wasn't any of the ones that I can confirm as being in Sydney.

Evidently, Aus!Customs has no qualms about a quarter cup's worth of glass shrapnel seed beads. I kid, of course. I'm not going through all this shit just so some forensics mook can dig it out of the scenery.

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Challenge #01213-C118: Talking it Out

Therapy ghosts! -- Gallifreya

[AN: This prompt harkens back to the second half of story #01176, Free Spirits. But you know I'm not going to go further with that one]

Someone was in his usual hiding spot. One of the more corporeal monsters. A skeleton. A tiny little kid. And they were crying to themself.

Happstablook remained invisible as he crept closer. This kid was crying. Not the loud crying that demanded attention, but the silent kind that would not go away,

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Secondary skills

In the words of Odo when Quark questioned his interest in funerary rituals, "Everybody needs a hobby." It didn't come in to the Hevun's Child trilogy, because almost everyone I was writing about literally did not have the time to kick back, relax, and faff around.

I glimpsed at it in The Amity Incident but by and large, the entire human colony were a bunch of nerd whose primary focus was their better future. The luxury of messing about with things to

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Challenge #01211-C116: Through the Multiverse

Adventuring around the Multiverse, starring Stanford Pines! (If you have not seen Gravity Falls up to Not What He Seems, please replace Stanford with another character)

  1. With Wander and Sylvia
  2. In the last TV show, comic or game universe you encountered -- Gallifreya

[Of firkin course I've seen Gravity Falls. I was just never up on the decoding things because I (a) lacked the reflexes and (b) lacked the smarts. This is an author who needs help at every third Professor Layton

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A Winner is...

The 7-loop connector bars (250 of them!) from Milky Way 888. They were one of the last to get going, and I had to extend the allowance time lest my order get cancelled. And yet, they are the first ones to arrive in my hot little hands.

A moment of silence for the ziplock baggie that tried valiantly, but could not contain the mighty force of two hundred and fifty brass findings during the rigorous journey between there an here. It did

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Challenge #01210-C115: The Daydreaming Ape

We've all done it, been handed a phone in a business office for the case handler, or we sit and wait, and wait, and wait in a government office while time passes like frozen molasses. Someone gets creative with this time, nothing that will get them 'escorted' off the premises. -- KnitNan

[AN: I hope I corrected this prompt accurately. If not, let me know and I'll fix it]

What many people don't know is... waiting rooms are an enormous social experiment.

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Signs of progress?

Yes, I'd love some. I looked up the status of my nineteen parcels for EGDB, and nothing has yet shifted. I've also discovered that Auspost is absolute shit at tracking things from China.

I can't wait for the day that I'm big enough that I won't have to worry about this shit.

Chaos keeps complaining about being forced into a Dutch Braid rather than a French Braid. All her arguments are currently illogical so I guess I'd better actually show her why

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Challenge #01209-C114: That Which is Left

The Sedlec ossuary of Kutna Hora

(if you're interested, there's a gallery of photos here (not for the faint of heart I suppose, but it's clean bones) https://imgur.com/gallery/QZE8a) -- Gallifreya

Logical solutions can look disturbing in retrospect. Take a small area with a large population. Arable land has to be kept clear for farming, so the living can eat. There is not enough fuel to burn the corpses, but just enough to cook. Therefore, the buried dead are

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