Aliens V Humans

A 6-post collection

Challenge #01645-D184: Unwelcome Vistors

Federation ships may have phasers and photon torpedoes, but those are only a distraction for the real weapon: the swiss-omnitool that is the main deflector array. That thing can do anything, take out any threat. It just takes some time to be adapted to the current opponent. That's what the things everyone thinks of as weapons are for - to buy that time. -- RecklessPrudence

Throughout the galaxy, assorted species have learned one important lesson: Don't mess with the Federation. Some, like the Klingons and the Romulans, are slow learners. Though the Romulans note with some pride that they have learned before the Klingons did, and purposely avoided becoming one of the Federation's targets.

Other slow learners include the Cardassians, the Breen, and the Borg. And, lately, the Pelithant.

But then, you'd expect a species that's essentially a hivemind fungal colony to be slow on the uptake. As a sentient species, the Federation expects them to learn eventually, and in the meantime, are keeping their expansion in check. More or less. Some Pelithant spores make it through the embargo line. Some land on lifeless moons, and are allowed to persist. Others land on colonies and have to be... excised.

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Challenge #01326-C231: Seek Understanding

if you didn’t know stuff about humans you would think they get mad at the weirdest stuff

like one human raises their thumb to another human that’s good, humans like that

one human raises their middle finger to another human

humans do NOT LIKE THAT

humans think that is a BAD FINGER

don’t you DARE raise that specific finger at me

any other finger is ok just not that one



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Challenge #01299-C204: Explosive Food

Popcorn, either as an edible explosive or semi mindless entertainment. KnitNan

The human had hung up a hand-made sign - Explosive food preparation in progress before they produced a device and a package of dry, yellow seeds.

"Your pardon, cogniscent An'dee?" said Plyq'ix. "What is meaning, 'explosive food'?"

Andy had a very simple explanation. "It goes bang."

"Dangerous bang?"

"Surprising bang. Harmless, but surprising."

The machine whirred into life and the grains poured in. For a while, nothing much happened but rattling

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Challenge #01295-C200: Pray What You Eat Lets You Live

Fast Food franchises for Aliens. -- Anon Guest

Excerpts from A Traveller's Guide to Galactic Spaceports[Written before the advent of Unsuitable Food]:

If you are the kind of person who does not eat what they cannot identify, then beware. You may starve to death. Once you leave the realm of your familiarity, you will find all manner of things that could be edible if you are brave enough to face it.

That said, beware of attempting to purchase anything living. There

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Challenge #01198-C103: Pax Haptis

There was more added to the petting post from earlier

“we were going to blow them up, but they engaged in an oddly pleasing patting ritual and, well, it was nice.” -- Gallifreya

They had charged into a human nest that had already been abandoned. Some fired at stationary vehicles. Some fired at mannequins. Some fired because they feared for their lives. But when nothing fired back, the troup took their fingers off their triggers and looked around.

Somehow, the humans had

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The Internet

T’reka (or some other inquisitive creature) discovers the truly staggering amount of porn on the human internet.

(#00646 - A281)

“Ha. I have found an archive of human mating rituals.”

Krezlor peered over Brixik’s shoulder. “This does not appear to be a documentary…”

“[Oh no,]” said the definitely female human on the screen. “[I can’t pay for the pizza… there must be some way I can… trade

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