Realm of the InterNutter

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Challenge #01366-C271: Mahal's Warrior

Dwarves and Gender Politics. Details here. -- RecklessPrudence

En had rather hoped to be over with this adventure by now. Certainly, the Grand City of Ghil had a need, but En was on his own timetable. Adventuring during the first trimester was generally dismissed as plausible but dangerous. And En hadn't even known he was pregnant when the Admaster of Ghil had sent him and his party on this quest.

Transgender adventuring came with a unique set of risks. And since this adventure would finally pay for a magical swap of his nethers... there was little choice but to soldier on.

His thick padding hid a great deal of sins, but not enough. His friends and fellows were starting to laugh about En's weight. En flinched at every ignorant joke about 'the baby', especially since he didn't know how to feel about having it.

Especially since their quest was taking them deep into Dwarven territory. Literally. The Dwarves had agreed -for a steep fee, of course- to take them through to the depths of Kraghar, where the prize of their quest awaited a worthy hand to lift it.

Dwarves had a reputation, of course. They were heavily misogynistic, tight-fisted, greedy, and obsessed with hoarding treasures. Almost at the same level as the Dragons, only far more discriminatory. Their temporary guide was the usual grim and stoic Dwarf. Hardly saying anything more than the barest of necessities.

Until the fourth day.

They had been resting in a Dwarven way-station. A set of beds and furnishings of a small house, all carved out of the living rock. En overslept, exhausted by the drain on his body and the hectic kicking of his... inhabitant. His friends and teammates said that they tried to rouse him. En couldn't remember that. He just remembered wanting to sleep forever.

The Dwarf was the one who lifted En up and placed him under an air vent, where fresher air flowed over him, and administered a secret Dwarven brew that had nothing at all to do with the heavy, deadly alcohol they all quaffed with no regard to health or safety.

For En, that brew was like being filled with energy. From toes to crown, he was amazed that he didn't glow. And the Dwarf was suddenly open and caring.

"You are sacred to Mahal," said the Dwarf, and refunded a gigantic percentage of his previous fee.

"What's going on?" said Tyrali the Bard.

En sighed. "You're going to hate me," he said. "People I've told... call me a liar at best. The worst have tried to kill me. Some... try to use me. As if that could fix what's wrong."

Senk the Cleric instantly warded the room against violence. "Speak the truth in the light, and be not afraid."

En still tensed. Still kept a hand by his dagger, and the other ready to scoop up his shield. Still savoured the likely last time that his friends would be worried for him. Or count themselves as his friends. "I am a man in all but a small area of my flesh," he said. Years had honed bluntness in this matter. The second part was new. "And because of that small area of flesh... I'm also pregnant."

"Mahal's best making. Impossible for hands," said the Dwarf. "He is guarded and protected by all of my kind, should you want to fight."

A lot came out into that air. Beginning with how male Dwarves were the rare ones, but their long lives meant few children, if any at all. Therefore, those who were -in their words- growing a new person, were protected, valued, and almost revered. Those who had been mothers were instantly wise.

...and seven hundred years ago, a mother and grandmother had told humans the truth of her flesh, and the humans had snubbed her...

Dwarves have long memories. That slight was something their kind counted heavily against the humans, and the humans had been paying a tax for it ever since.

En knew too well how humans treated women. He had endeavoured to quell that wherever he went. And now... now his friends and teammates were... They were warming up to treat him as they treated any other woman. Like a lack-witted, incapable, infirm vessel, made only to fill with their personal stopper.

"Pregnant or not, I am still a man," he said, "and I will kill the first one of you who lays a hand on my arse or calls me 'sweetheart'."

Tyrali exaggeratedly put his hands in his pockets. "Not thinking about it," he lied.

Kurs the Paladin had been praying for Divine Inspiration before he spoke. "En has fought by our side for years, and none of us knew him as any less than a man. I vow to continue my high regard for our fellow, and I will fight any who treat him as less."

"See?" said the Dwarf. "This is why we keep away from you humans. You would call your best makers 'less', for all that they risk their lives to make new people. You should try growing your own, sometime. It is a hard task, and there are no breaks to rest."

En had never thought of it that way. He hadn't thought about it much at all. Then he wondered if anyone had thought about it... besides the women who were forced to deal with it.

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Merry October

It's the first of October and I've yet to isolate anything for Chaos' costume, this year. She wants to be her gemsona, sweet child.

That means a wee bit of running around for things. Including the figuring out of how to do the gem on the cheap. Green leggings and arm things. The more skin I cover with fabric, the less I have to cover with makeup. Even when I know where to get some good stuff on the cheap? It's just

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Challenge #01365-C270: Simple Message, Complex Bottle

They told us to tell you hello. Details here. Bring a box of tissues. -- RecklessPrudence

It was a constructed thing. Shr'dlu could see that much, even with a fine coating of space dust and a scattering of micrometeor damage. And it had come the long way to this particular patch of debris, floating in the eternal night.

The fact that it was large enough to be a survival pod had made Shr'dlu take it in for examination in the first place.

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Achievement Unlocked

The plastics cupboard has had all its non-essential and extra-cluttering items removed! Hooray. Now, if we should ever need more than three large or medium Systema sealing articles, we can toddle up to the shed and fetch them. I mean, we have HUGE amounts of plastic containers.

Now, we need no more.

Still on the agenda is the pots cupboard and the gizmos cupboard. The least-use doohickeys will head shed-wards, but the other stuff for pots and pans might be an issue

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Challenge #01364-C269: Here There Be Werewolves

Tidally-locked Lycanthropy Planet. Details here. -- RecklessPrudence

Rough seas, of course. Rounding the Cape to the trade winds inevitably involved rough seas. It took a good captain to deal with just that. But of course, things had to be trickier. Sailing the Cape had to be done in full daylight or not at all, because the Moon shone her full face on the southern hemisphere. Which left those dangerous lands populated entirely by werewolves.

And even with all these precautions, there was

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Slow starts, low batteries, and recreated inconvenience

Yes, I've stopped using Steam Powered Giraffe lyrics. Well spotted, you.

SPG has helped me cope with a lot of things, and now 'grief' can join that number. I'll try to tone it down from now on. I can be... kind of annoying on the topic of my favourite band.

As you might expect, grief comes with a seemingly endless patch of personal recharge issues. Low batteries, in this case, are mine. Few spoons to drag myself through the day.

And since

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Challenge #01363-C268: Household? Prison?

A kitten discovers her new family expects her to sleep in the laundry at night. -- Anon Guest

Fun day! New smells. New foods. Lots of play. Lots of pets.

Then the humans, the feedme's, did something strange. The smaller ones went away first, then the big ones took her into a bare, cold room, put her down, and left. And they shut the door. And they had turned out the light.

There were crunchy-noms. And good water. And a soft thing.

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Why'd you have to go?

There is a shady patch underneath a banksia plant. There, a cat lies at peace. She used to hang out there when she was alive, trying to hypnotise the birds down so she could 'play' with them. It's the best place for her to rest, now.

Beloved and Mayhem were kind enough to squirrel away the feline accessories so I wouldn't have to. And I thank them for that mercy.

I'm still sad about it. I expect to be randomly crying about

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Challenge #01362-C267: Apocollapse Now

All the signs were there, amongst the storm and fire-streaked sky appeared The Four Horsemen, War, Pestilence, Famine, and Death stood ready, then one of them said, "Oh Shit! It's Them!" Enter the Other four horsepersons, those of the Apocollapse (hope I've spelt it right),and proceed to avert the Apocalypse, by infecting the big four. -- Knitnan

[AN: No you didn't, but I fixed it.]

You know the drill. Seas boiling and turning to blood. Fire in the sky. The Kraken

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'Twas nice to know you

She gave us a scare, yesterday. Life with a cat wouldn't be life with a cat if they didn't give you the absolute horrors for their continued well-being at least once a week. After a month of generally sitting around and not doing very much, Shellebelle decided to wander off for a majority of the day.

Naturally, I feared that I'd never find her again. Mayhem and I took to wandering around the house and yard, trying to spot her. Trying to

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Challenge #01361-C266: The Rogue's Fall

[Person 1]: It's important to face the consequences of your actions!

[Person 2]: (Leaps out of a window) -- OohLookShiny

Hwell had to admit, this did look bad. He took stock, as was his habit when he got into these snags.

Hands and feet bound, check. And not in anything fancy, either. Just regular, good old-fashioned iron cuffs and chains that hobbled his ability to run. And his captors had been so inconsiderate about the design, too. There was no easy way

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Hello, Goodbye...

Of all the unfair things that this world gives us, it's the fact that our pets don't live as long as we do.

I spent my bedtime last night crying and shaking because I know that my cat has to die. She is not the happiest of campers and spends too much time just staying very still. She'll eat chicken hearts with gusto, but that seems to be all the gusto that she has left.

She can't clean herself. She's taken to

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Challenge #01360-C265: Signs of True Love

"Why?"

"My only explanation is that I'm very tired, and I never made very good decisions in the first place," -- OohLookShiny

Mel had slept through the crash at 2AM, but in her favour, it happened relatively far away. She had no idea what was happening until closer to four, when Lus' swearing filtered through her dreams.

There was a trail of blood and broken glass. There were scatters of medical strips in the middle of a larger mess of blood and

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Maintaining progress

I have my little darlings coming back today. We've successfully minimised all the kitchen drawers, as well as the crockery and glass cupboards. We still have to move all the spare glasses to an OOSOOM1 location.

In my list: minimising the gadgets cupboard, minimising the plastics cupboard, and minimising the pots cupboard. All whilst keeping the floors swept, the remaining dishes clean, and general debris from returning to the household.

NOT helped by the fact that we keep getting Lootcrates, and

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Challenge #01359-C264: Oi Oi Oi

Humans and various aliens discover a new planet at the same time. One one side, the aliens are being blindsided by weather, earthquakes, volcanoes etc. On the other side the humans are having snowball fights, counting lightning strikes, geyser watching and bathing in the geothermal pools.

Details: http://deathcomes4u.tumblr.com/post/149643799993/humans-are-weird -- Anon Guest

The crew of the Curious George had assigned the human to hauling the water cart. So far, the human had advised portable solar shelters in

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