InterNutter

Indie writer seeks audience with an audience. Paying customers welcome. [pronouns: ze/hir] Daily free stories happen because it is an excellent counter to Writers' Block.

Burpengary East http://www.cmweller.com 12555 posts

The Talk (story!)

I came up with this one to explain how the ponies reproduce without apparent genetalia. Also to explain pony reproduction in as safe a G-rated manner as possible, without excluding GLBT coupling

Warning: There is a sad patch.

The Talk

“Applejack, can ah aks ya a question?”
Applejack kept working as she spoke, “Ain’t nothin’ so far ‘as stopped ya.”
“Where do foals come from?”
Whoah nelly. She’d been dreading this day. She got herself so flustered she almost missed the tree she’d been bucking. She spared a moment to look at her baby sister. Nothing but the absolute truth was going to satisfy the curious little filly.
“Well… When two ponies love each other with all their hearts, they do everythin’ they can to show each other their love is true. They move in together. They make deep promises. They become a team. And the most important thing is to fall asleep holdin’ tight to each other.”
Applebloom made a skeptical face.
“It’s the solid gold truth,” said the elder sister.
“So then what happens?”
“The two ponies dream together is what happens. They share a dream of the foals they could have. An’ the magic of love starts up an itty bitty baby, which goes and gets born almost a whole year later.”
“Silver Spoon said you need a Ma and a Pa.”
“Wellllll…” Applejack knew that that wasn’t strictly necessary - but telling a filly just starting school? “That’s gen'rally the case…”
“She said Ah was unwanted 'cause I don’t have a Ma an’ Pa.”
“That Silver Spoon’s got herself a tarnished heart,” grumbled Applejack. “We all had a Ma and Pa, sis. You just don’t remember 'em.”
“Why?”
“They…” Applejack closed her eyes against the bad memories. “It was an accident. They didn’t want to leave us.” She blinked out slow tears of old hurts. “They loved each other so powerful, they had t’ do everything together. Even go to the Great Beyond.” … sniff… “They loved you and wanted you, Applebloom. Ain’t nobody’s fault that they left.”
Applebloom breathed a sigh of relief. “An’ we’re still a family, right? Even though it’s just Granny an’ Big Macintosh an’ you an’ me?”
“Of course we’re family. Tell you what. Tonight, you an me’ll mosey on up to the attic and Ah can show you some ole photos of us. Ma and Pa and all three of us.”
“Thanks, sis.” She hefted a basket of apples to bring in. “Hey Applejack?”
“Yeah…?”
“Why is the sky blue?”
It was going to be a looonnnnggg afternoon.

What? Me Racist?

All my life [that’s 39 years and counting] I have used the word “piker” to mean “someone mean with money”. Usually in the following situation:

::self finds 5 cent coin::
“Wealth beyond the dreams of Avarice!” (beat) “Avarice was a piker.”

It’s a routine I inherited from my parents and it used to be a bit of harmless fun. Something funny to say.

I have since learned via an internet

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Happy new year!

Here on the east coast of Australia, it’s been 2012 for five hours and forty-five minutes. So far, it’s all going fine.

I slept through new years’ for the first time since I was a little one and I’m wondering if it’s because I’m old.

Though I was woken up by the sound of the neighbourhood’s illegal fireworks going off, and Chaos’ screaming when it was all over.

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Mince Soup

This is another one of those “primary ingredient plus whatever you have lying around” recipes. Again, it’s just a few ingredients away from being a stew.

You will need these tools:

1 big pot
1 ladle or spoon for stirring
1 handy heat source like a cooktop

You will need these ingredients:

water
about 500g mince of your choice
sauces/flavour/herbs/spices to taste
vegetables
thickening or noodles optional

Method:

half-fill your pot with water and set

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Slow-cooker Glop

This one’s for the busy people. Slow cookers are handy little gadgets that allow one to, say, set up a pot roast before you leave for work.

Everything I cook in my slow cooker always ends up as Glop

You will need these tools:

1 slow cooker
1 thing to make it go
1 thing to serve/stir
1 method of cooking rice

You will need these ingredients:

500g protein of your choice, preferably in bite-sized chunks
1-2 jars of

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Sausage Soup

This is another one of those “scratch” recipes, in which you scratch together whatever you have going and put it in a pot.

You will need these tools:

1 big pot
1 handy heat source, like a cooktop
1 big spoon/ladle
1 knife or other means of chopping thingsĀ 

You will need these ingredients:

sausages
water
sauce/flavour
herbs/spices
vegetables

The quantity of these is up to you. Optional extras include: soup mix, rice, potatoes/potato powder, and

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Fried Rice? So Nice!

At last! A recipe with more than just vague hints [seriously, we’re on the internet. You should know how to google stew recipes] and some actual directions.

You will need these tools:

1 large cooking container. Woks are great, but you don’t have to have them
1 means of cooking rice. Rice cookers are great, etc. etc.
1 or more handy heat source(s) like a cooktop
1 big sturdy spoon or spatula. Trust me, I mean it

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How to Stretch a Stew

There are as many recipes for stew as there are people who cook it. You might like a different kind of stew, but the core is the same:

* A lot of water
* Some kind of key protein [meat is traditional, but not necessary]
* Lots of vegetables
* Thickening

One of the key ideals of stew is that it can be stretched. You might portion yours up and freeze it straight after it’s cooked, but even then, you can stretch one portion

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Budget Busting in the Kitchen

Many of you know a few tricks, but these are some of mine. If you only have a little left to spend on food after taking care of all those bills, you need to make it stretch. And you also need to make sure you get a balanced diet. We’ve all heard the urban myth about the college kid who made a buttload of porridge etc. etc.

Anyway, over the next few days I’ll be sharing some budget-stretching

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Merry Yuletide to All

I say “Yuletide” because it roughly encapsulates all the other names for the celebrations that happen around this day.

I didn’t write this, today. Of course not. Today, I plan on being busy catering to the season, running around like a fly with its bum on fire and generally getting some kind of swag.

December 25th is the day the world - more or less - stops. Traditionally, wars enjoy ceasefires, combat slows to a crawl and general

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