A 1-post collection

Lies, damn lies, and Mayhem

My son seems to be a pathological liar.

I’ve reduced his computer time. I catch him out and lecture him EVERY single time [average: about 5 times a day, including made-up stories to “fit in” with the conversation]. We’ve even spent an entire night telling lies to him so he gets an idea about how frustrating it is to live with a liar.

He still lies.

He lies to get the things he wants. He lies to get out of the things he doesn’t want. He lies about shit nobody cares about. He lies about who did what with whatever and without permission.

Short of chaining him upside-down to a wall [or similar over-the-top punishments, like the parenting classics of smacking his arse ‘till it glows in the dark or washing his mouth out with soap] I have run out of ideas.

And every single time, he promises that he’ll never lie again [or, recently, he’ll try to cut down] and every single time, it’s the same story.

He forgets to stick to the truth.


I’m an honest person. Apart from the occasional fling at amusing hyperbole, I’ve been accused by my best beloved of being “too honest”. And that’s the sort of thing you can’t tell people 'cause they assume it’s a lie.

Massive win for the forces of cosmic irony, there.

My husband’s an honest fellow. He actually manages to include the societal norm of “little white lies” that help others out and whatnot.

To be honest, I never quite figured out how often and how big is “okay” to lie, so I stick to a safe zero.

So how can my first-born son be such an outrageous liar?

He definitely doesn’t get it from the people nearest and dearest to him. He may pick up being an outrageously antisocial arsehole from Shiftless[on his bad days], but not lying.

He picks up an astonishing amount of rude words from yours truly [and a “just because you can” slightly-hypocritical lecture when he uses them] but not lying.

He’s definitely inherited his father’s love of sitting in front of computer screens for hours on end… but not lying.

Maybe it’s my fault. If I instantly landed on him every last time he told me something as gospel, or checked up, or otherwise treated him as a very small criminal suspect, he’d give up trying.

Maybe if I constantly treat him like a liar for a month or two he might get the hint.

And maybe pigs will fly and I can get bacon by skeet shooting…

Any parents out there with ex-liars who managed to turn their young to the ways of truth? How did you do it?