InterNutter

Indie writer seeks audience with an audience. Paying customers welcome. [pronouns: ze/hir] Daily free stories happen because it is an excellent counter to Writers' Block.

Burpengary East http://www.cmweller.com 12165 posts

Challenge #01321-C226: Lost and Found

The Ballad of Apollo XIII - sung to the tune of 'The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald', but with a triumphant ending. -- RecklessPrudence

"I can't find Ambassador Shayde."

They should have been terrifying words, but they had lost any such sparkle through repetition. It had got to the point that Sherlock and Officer Marken both used Ambassador Shayde as testing material for new recruits.

So far, only one sharp Ensign had passed the Shayde Test.

This... was not that Ensign.

"You've checked her office and her home, of course," prompted Rael.

The luckless trainee smacked headfirst into realisation and ran off in a panic.

Five minutes later, he was back. And out of breath. "She's... not there... either..."

Rael took mercy on the young man and pointed over the balcony where he was standing. To a lower level of the Elemeno. Where Ambassador Shayde had been happily strumming her 'axe' for some time.

"...for the truth will be greater than fictiooooonnnn..." she sang. And she sang it to a group of school-children

"Normally, we'd make you run to all of her other hang-outs," said Rael. "They're scattered all over the greater 1G zone."

The Ensign whimpered.

"You forgot the first rule of handling a figure of some import."

"Whawuztha'?" he panted.

"Read. Their. File," said Lyr, coming up behind him. "I know you opened it, but did you look at more than the in-brief?"

Rael hadn't thought it possible, but the Ensign managed to turn even redder.

"You're relieved, today," Lyr sighed. "Take this as a lesson for why we insist on protocol."

Rael watched his retreat. "Think he'll be back?"

"The Shayde Test has a seventy percent wash-out rate. We'll see."

"If he does come back," Rael paused to see the selfsame red-faced Ensign rush up to the place where Shayde was playing ballads from her time. "Do try to teach him about energy conservation techniques."

(Muse food remaining: 23. Submit a Prompt! Ask a question! Buy my stories! Or comment below!)

Fan-firkin-tastic

Mayhem has succumbed to Chaos' virus. Which means I have two kids at home with the Lurgi. It also means that I have to drag Mayhem up to the doctors to get more paperwork, blablabla.

And I have a rash in a painful place that needs to be fixed by not wearing tight clothing. Or not wearing clothing at all.

BUT I have to be out and about. Getting paperwork, fetching ginger ale because everyone is sick... and getting some spray cream

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Challenge #01320-C225: The Catalogue of Bad Ideas

The invasion was so simple. We sent our soldiers to their children, and they played with them as if they were toys.

When the time came, the attack began, and soon the world was ours.

https://wilwheaton.tumblr.com/post/148216965069/ - quoting Wil Wheaton -- Anon Guest

They were everywhere. Insanely popular. Every child just had to have one. They were obnoxious, of course. Designed by some insane and scheming mind to appeal to the lowest common denominator.

And they were

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Bad news, good news

Seems to be the way whenever I'm working on KFZ, that things gang aft agley.

This time, MeMum's compy has decided to do its impersonation of a second-hand lawnmower and play up. Or break down. Which means that she calls in instead of sending an email.

On the same weekend that I am potentially available to help with that, my Beloveds parentals are planning to pop over and celebrate the marking of Mayhem's trip around the sun.

Chaos is still crook, so

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Challenge #01318-C223: Gem Daycare

1) Steven likes to visit Centi. She and the others have sort of adopted him as an honorary crewmember at this point.

2) From http://muppetymels.tumblr.com/post/144837683649 -

Teaching kindergarten is like being an ambassador to beings from another planet and teaching them how to assimilate to our culture.

“No, we do not LICK water fountains. Perhaps that is acceptable on your planet, but here on earth we prefer to DRINK from water fountains.”

“Physics might be a little

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I wrote a cursed book

Well, that's the half-joke. During most of 2014, I was working on a novel entitled Kung Fu Zombies, which threw a lampshade on every zombie trope and every kung fu trope I could make fit. And possibly a bunch of American survivalist tropes as well.

For all the fun I had writing the bloody thing - my life went sideways in a big way. Disasters big and small plagued my life. Culminating in the death of my father barely a week before

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Challenge #01317-C222: For Hate's Sake...

"You idiot! Can't you see this will hurt both of us?"

"Well yes, but it'll hurt you a lot more than it'll hurt me, and I can live with that." -- OohLookShiny

There were things she could never talk about. And one of them was the battle of wits with a godlike being.

They could make their arena look like anything. Be made out of anything. They could cast a glamour so powerful that it overwhelmed her. But there was always that

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Is there a cure for Fail yet?

I started my morning at 3AM, following a dream in which I saw a partial clip for a new music video from the best band in the world] The bit I remember is Chelsea and Camille doing Busby Berkeley style ballet on giant red steps while dressed in articulated metal snowflake costumes.

My subconscious is a very strange place.

And the thing that ALWAYS happens when I dream about my absolute favourites happened - I woke up. But I also woke up

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Challenge #01316-C221: Random Encounter

Pick your favourite cartoon character, print or media and have them meet/interact with another. -- Knitnan

[AN: You do realise SPG have their own webcomic right? but I'll play this straight this time]

"That wormhole really did a number on me," mumbled Sylvia. "Where the flarf are we?"

"I have no idea," Wander chirped. He had made a campfire and was roasting something on a stick. "But the beach is lovely and there's a cute little town on the other side

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I fail at human

My brain, as Thomas Dolby once sang, is like a sieve. I don't intend to forget things? But... it happens.

And when one of those things is as simple as checking my email as part of the process that makes sure my mother is still okay... I really fail at human.

Aliens, come take me away, because I am very obviously not of this world.

I'm at the stage where I have to scribe reminders on the back of my hand or

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Challenge #01315-C220: Get Lost!

To get really lost you need a GPS without updated maps, or worse with proposed routes entered as functioning. -- Anon Guest

[AN: Did I tell anyone that story? Stay tuned to my tumblr feed today for the full thing]

"Turn left at the fork."

"What?" said Tirla. "This thing is clearly showing a right turn at the fork."

"Turn left at the fork," said the mechanical voice.

"It's still a few hundred SDU's. We can slow down and see which way

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Anxiety sucks

I've been having a little executive dysfunction, lately. Dawdling about things because I'm secretly scared of everything that could possibly go wrong. And everything that could impossibly go wrong, too. Because I like scaring myself, apparently.

As I frequently say when I give myself the horrors, my brain hates me.

I still don't know why I'm scared to send in the tax form to Smashwords. It's just one of the many things about me that make no sense whatsoever.

And I'm

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Challenge #01314-C219: The Long Days

These things are sent to try us and they certainly do. -- Anon Guest

All of the longest days start in the wee small hours. Haven't you noticed? They begin with the nightmare. The terrors. The loud neighbour who accidentally or on purpose blasts five seconds of noise into the air. Or the telemarketer who calls without realising the time where you live. Or the obnoxious party relative who drunk-dials you for no real reason, or under the mistaken assumption that your

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Weekends, Hooray!

I love weekends. They give me a chance to fart around and do nothing much.

Since I spend my Fridays doing 1K, it means that Saturday and Sunday are both days to laze around and faff about. Both are important parts of the writing cycle. Both lead to excessive amounts of daydreaming which lead to more fiction! Yay!

In my case, it means fiction that I don't have to write, which you will get to see over on my baby forum whenever

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Challenge #01313-C218: No, You Got it Wrong

This is a quote from a Robert Heinlein story. "Always have your pants, your shoes, and your gun where you can find them in the dark." -- Anon Guest

[AN: I fixed your typos, Nonny]

The patient came in with a limb injury. Relatively harmless, but perplexing in the entry and exit trajectory. What added further confusion was the fact that they had a side-arm tangled in their toes, and a white-knuckled grip on one of their boots.

There was some evidence

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