InterNutter

Indie writer seeks audience with an audience. Paying customers welcome. [pronouns: ze/hir] Daily free stories happen because it is an excellent counter to Writers' Block.

Burpengary East http://www.cmweller.com 12604 posts

Challenge #01949-E125: Naked Without it

Pointy hats! There are the black, with a brim witch's model, the sparkly and starred wizard or wizzard's, the upside down ice cream cone with a floaty veil princess model and the plain paper cone with a big "D" for dunce. -- Knitnan

[AN: I don't think the D-cap existed outside of the Victorian Era]

You couldn't deny he was a wizard. The hat was a huge give-away. It made his full, wizarding height two feet taller and he changed it in all other ways from town to town. One week, it was dripping with gimcrack jewellery from fantasy dollar stores. The next, it was festooned with flowers and illusory beads of dew that sparkled in the light. It said 'wizard' louder than any collection of sequins, erroneous spelling, or arcane symbolism could manage.

And it made him easy to spot in a crowd. Something for which Sazed was eternally grateful, because he stood a chance of stopping Taako from blowing all their profits on more gimcrack jewellery, swatches of interesting fabric, or other decorations for that fucking hat. Or, failing that, some kind of knock-off high fashion that involved thirty near-identical shirts. It had got to the point where Taako could mouth along to the We're on a budget, damnit speech.

And now, heart-stoppingly, that damn hat was on a hat-rack. Outside somewhere that looked really expensive to be inside.

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BBC SOP - FEFO

For those amongst the acronym challenged - BBC stands for the British Broadcasting Company. The public television since whenever.

SOP is Standard Operating Procedure. For instance, the standard operating procedure for politics is lie, cheat, and rack off with a golden parachute.

FEFO is new. It's something Beloved and I coined after absorbing a couple of episodes of a new thing from the BBC. It stands for this:

Four Episodes, Fuck Off

We've seen a lot of this with high-quality BBC products.

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Challenge #01948-E124: Who's a Good Dog?

In the land of magic, Death frequently has problems with pets that absolutely refuse to stay dead. -- Anon Guest

In all of creation, there is nothing more loyal than a good dog. Though it was widely agreed that Kerby was one of the truly daft ones. He was a rescue dog, and had some kind of skin infection that made him look dead. Dan, who had picked him up with a shovel as part of his job, got the fright of

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Well, Fuck

Okay. Here's the situation.

  • Cocoa contains carbs and I need to figure out the content of one button to keep my hot chocolates ketogenic
  • Mayhem has a conference with his guidance counsellor and I discuss his grades
  • I need new windshield wipers
  • Time is growing ever closer to the release of a better Apple Lappy for my first actual Earned Laptop
  • All my funds are tied up in other shit
  • Including Mayhem's traineeship [$2K]
  • And paying for my car rego [$600+]
  • My
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Challenge #01947-E123: Loose End Tied

"Never, ever empty this person's pockets again!" referencing Harpo Marx, Sergeant Constantine Bothari, and any JOAT! -- Anon Guest

Okay, now I've fucked up, thought Taako, transmutation wizard extraordinaire. Crew-member of the Starblaster. Multi-dimensional traveller. One of the Seven Birds of Prophecy. Member of the B.O.B. Best chef in all of Faerûn. Oh, and main squeeze of the Grim fucking Reaper. This thought came, of course, at half-consciousness as the not-so-stupid guards dragged him to the throne room of the

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My Face Hurts

There is a low pressure system somewhere. I can feel it in my left eye orbit. Starting at the bridge of the nose and graduating into the lower half of my eye socket. At least, thanks to some Panadol, the pain has ebbed from reaching my left temple and threatening to graduate into my teeth.

I paid $3K to have my nose fixed and therefore suffer this for potentially the rest of my life. Huzzah? The bonus, that I snore less harshly

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Challenge #01946-E122: Change for the Better

Paper clips, rubber bands, and the ever reliable wire coat-hanger. -- Anon Guest

In accordance with Galactic Standards and Practices verses the JOAT Conglomerate, all Standard Screws will now feature a slot to accommodate the use of a 5 Sec Coin in lieu of any screwdriver.

Truly. This was a day of victory. Of course, the fine print under the announcement reassured business owners that secure spaces were still allowed to use non-standard fastenings, so long as they provided the relevant tools

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Carb Hunt?

It's a public holiday, and there's nothing Australia loves more than a long weekend. So of course we're having a good old fashioned slob day. Neither my Beloved nor I have left our bed, and I doubt my little darlings have done so either.

My Beloved insists that I'm somehow doing carbs, all because my tum is a little rumbly this morning, and I stated out loud my desire for some snackage.

My first thought: Bitch, where?1.

I don't actually eat

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Challenge #01946-E122: Strangers With Candy

TANSTAAFL, or "Invest in Acme income Management, returns of 50 to 70%" Yeah! Right! -- Anon Guest

[AN: For those who don't have familiarity with ancient acronyms, this one stands for, "There Ain't No Such Thing As A Free Lunch"]

Lee Arr and Fred DeShanko were at it again. She recognised the pattern, even though their names weren't easily found in the pamphlet.

Step One: Latch on to some fringe science or stuff so far out on the cutting edge that it's

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Well, shit.

I haven't found the time or inclination to contribute to Murder Dollhouse or the nut notes I have on it. And I can't really give another thesis on firkin fanfiction like I did last week.

So I think I'll rabbit on about how tricky it is to work out location details. Especially since I know only what I've seen on TV about how America works. And I don't really want to set this in Australia because only Australians want to read about

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Challenge #01945-E121: Caveat Emptor

"Marry in haste, repent at leisure," or what happens when the icing is off the gingerbread. -- Anon Guest

Tyn could not understand why Thel had gone through so many spouses. Thel was the dreamiest star of romance and song in the entire world, and Tyn counted hirself lucky to share a minute with the famous and wonderful Thel, and now ze was sharing hir life with them. It was the life of Tyn's dreams.

Red carpet. Glitz. Glamour. The intense and

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Setting up PLNs

Mayhem says he's ready to take his written test. The problem with this is single - TIMING.

  • Dept of Transport is only open during business days.
  • And is only open until about 4PM
  • Chaos' bus arrives sometime between 3 and 4
  • It takes 15-20 minutes to get to the closest Dept of Transport (not including finding a park)

So my options are:

  1. Get someone to wait for Chaos on a pre-set afternoon and drive Mayhem straight to the place
  2. Wait for Chaos
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Challenge #01944-E120: Detect Trap

If it looks too good to be true, it's probably a con. -- Anon Guest

Exciting opportunities were to be found in the Callibreso Void, according to the promotional puff piece. A new force was being investigated that could be a natural form of anti-gravity, as opposed to the gravity generators that were the sole responsibility and product of the Nae'hyn. If it could be isolated and harnessed, then it would be a new revolution in propulsion technology. You, too, could get

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Hot Keto Chocolate V1.0

I did some experimentation last night, based loosely around this video recipe for frozen chocolatey treats we Keto-cooks call "fat bombs".

The result has a definite buttery undertaste and I'm wondering if it would work better with cocoa butter instead of the regular dairy butter.

BUT... if you're on Keto and craving a little of that lovely winter warmer, here's the Alpha version:

Hot Keto Chocolate V1.0

Instruments
  • 1 Microwave
  • 1 Mug
  • 1 Teaspoon minimum [people who don't want to wash
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Challenge #01943-E119: It's a Living

Having the tact and sensitivity of a kick in the ass can be considered a disadvantage in nearly any circumstance, mostly when dealing with superior or ambassador. But from time to time it allows you to unfreeze some situation. -- Anon Guest

Sometimes, delicacy and care are needed in a given situation. Sometimes, people need a swift kick in the butt. For the former, there is the entourage. Which contains all the people who know tact and negotiation, and how to 'handle'

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