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A 128-post collection

Challenge #02129-E300: Megalomaniacs Are Hard to Shop For

"I shall bring you the heart of your greatest enemy!"

"What, all of year 10 English class? Messy." -- Anon Guest

"Wait. What? A high school English class is your greatest enemy?"

"Sit down and I'll tell you a tale," said Miss Evans, dedicated megalomaniac. "A tale most horrifying. A tale about the biggest group of irreverent, foul-mouthed, foul-minded punsters that have ever breathed."

Loqui was already feeling trepidatious. "Are you sure you have to? I'm a smart enough minion to get that picture wholesale."

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Challenge #02128-E299: Pick Up Your Skirts and Walk Away

"Have fun with your crisis, I'm going to live among the goats." -- OohLookShiny

Leth had told them. She'd told them often. She'd told them so much that they mocked her for saying it, but she said it nonetheless.

"No good has ever come from making the rich richer and the poor poorer," she had said. Or, "In order for an economy to flourish, you have to give money to people who will spend it."

They didn't listen. They didn't listen because

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Challenge #02125-E296: Inside, Outside

two cats discovering their owner has a secure cat enclosure instead of letting them roam free -- Anon Guest

It was a good life. Thingone and Thingtwo agreed. Plenty of warm spaces. Lots of nice food. Halls to have a good rumpus up and down. Furniture, especially, to scramble up, down, into, out of, and under. The only thing missing was the world outside the windows. No matter how they howled and yowled to be allowed to play with the birds, their

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Challenge #02124-E295: Hello Darkness

I did this. I don't remember doing it, but it cannot be otherwise.

I have committed sins in my life before. I even killed a man once who didn't deserve it.

But this is different. I am changed.

These murders were not my choice. A Beast lives inside of me.

I will be hunted and shunned. I need to hide. Run. Bury the bodies.

I start to walk outside when I realize what truly bothers me...

...I feel no guilt. -- Anon

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Challenge #02115-E292: A Roadmap to Neverthere

"Look, the directions are simple; go down that way, and turn left on Thursday." -- Anon Guest

Navigation is difficult in realms where time is nonlinear. In the fractured temporal core of Lymnaal, directions are almost meaningless as well. One can walk away from a point, steps never wavering, and meet oneself coming the other way. There are places bordered by red paint. It is wise never to set a foot there.

Yet people still operate in this broken place. People are

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Challenge #02103-E279: Miracle Madman

"I believe I can flyyyy!"

"How did you get up there?!" -- OohLookShiny

"It's very simple," said Jarrin The Mad. "You just forget about gravity for a while. Remembering it again is the tricky part. You have to remember in little bits."

Nurse Rhyko squinted at him as he drifted towards a chair. "How the heck can anyone remember gravity in little bits?"

"Have we met? said Jarrin The Mad. "They call me Jarrin The Mad. I can remember five impossible things

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Challenge #02098-E274: All Her Business

Ferrets vs Cthulhu, and the ferrets winning. Maybe they use confined spaces against Cthulhu? -- Anon Guest

What Lovecraft said is true. There is little, if anything, that Humanity can do to stop an Elder God. The best that any can hope for is that they might be beneath the Entity's notice. Once summoned, there is no wrath. There is no feeling at all from a definitely superior entity. They do what they want and might eventually return to that from whence

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Challenge #02093-E269: Start of a Beautiful Friendship

"Wait were you flirting with me? Shit! I should have said something way cooler." -- OohLookShiny

She couldn't help but smile. Sanderson wasn't aloof and cold. He was just dim. Socially speaking, he was thicker than a sack of bricks. Which sort of made up for him being just about everything else. It was hard not to like the guy. Friendly, outgoing, talented, politely outspoken, and smart. He had won a scholarship with his muscles, but he was using his brains once

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Challenge #02092-E268: Call of Destiny

"How stupid do you think I look?"

"I don't know, I can't see you from here." -- Anon Guest

Of all the curses, in all the known universe, there is little that's more insulting than being sassed by a telemarketer. "Listen," I said, "I'm not going to do your stupid damn check for a windows virus. I'm not paying my taxes by the phone. I'm not suing someone for a car accident I had twelve years ago that didn't even do any

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Challenge #02087-E263: The True Revolution

[AN: Steemit has reconfigured its jiggery-pokery and I won't be able to post today's story there until much, much later. When that happens, this post will have a link. Stay tuned]

a female who hears about bad stuff happening to other ladies, but are oblivious because it never happens to them. -- Anon Guest

Cindy never knew she was her friends' Protector for years. She just thought that everything that happened was normal. Walking with Sishawna and any of her friends to

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Challenge #02086-E262: Love on Lo Batt

"I don't know how to get home,"

"But you walked there yourself, just walk back the way you came,"

"Just because I managed to blindly stumble into the right building doesn't mean I have any idea where I am or how I got here." -- OohLookShiny

"What?" Blue made a face. It was a face that could easily be read as What the hell? because the print was so large.

Red sighed. "It's like this. My mind is constantly somewhere else. It's

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Challenge #02084-E260: Warned You So

It's been said, regarding history, that "Everything repeats over and over again. No one learns anything, 'cause no one lives long enough to see the pattern..."

...but what if someone did? -- Anon Guest

My name is Loth. It rhymes with moth. I've taken up variations on the surnames Smith and Jones, all over the world. I know a lot of people who do illegal things to make certain my identities are stable. See... when you're immortal, you don't always want the

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Challenge #02078-E254: Breach

[Camera recording ○○, Research lab. Subject identified as "Wolf I think?" by Interviewer] [Interviewer enters the room, Subject emits a pulse of light, Interviewer collapses on his knees.Blue light connects foreheads of both Subject and Interviewer] [Subject] I was... created for the sole purpose of... preserving knowledge of my creators. I was... cannoned? [Interviewer, unconscious] Launched. [Subject] Launched... Directly away from our [スタル]. It went supernova. [long pause, Interviewer wakes up, Blue light vanishes, Subject suddenly vanishes] -- 誰ですか?

"Oh shit," they

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Challenge #02074-E250: Mob's Rule

“You’re right. Anger can be useful, and your wrath is something to be feared. But if I am to burn in this fire, I WILL take you down with me.” -- Anon Guest

The corrupt ruler scoffed. "And how will the likes of you propose to defeat me? You're weak. Powerless. Unarmed. I can kill you with a gesture and most of the idiots out there will applaud me for it."

"You did just call everyone watching you 'idiots'," she pointed

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Challenge #02068-E244: Wrong Kind of Rescue

{Character 1 kicks down door and fires RPG (or equivalent)}

(To person 2): "I got your text." -- TheDragonsFlame

When Laise was done screaming, and Thor had put down his guns, she recovered enough breath and wits to yell, "Thor, what the actual fuck?"

"You said you needed a rescue."

Laise checked her phone. Only one of her messages had got through thanks to the shitty, shitty local internet. "Damn it..." She took another calming breath. "We're lucky I always get the

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