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A 253-post collection

Challenge #02916-G359: Doki Doki Kawaii Terror Owo

Dread it, run from it, anime arrive all the same. -- Anon Guest

[AN: I have no context for the video this links to, and at this point I am afraid to ask. Video shows anime-style character announcing that soon, the entire world will be Anime]

They called it the Kawaiivirus, and it was sweeping the world. On paper, it sounded adorable, but once you actually saw a human transformed by it, you never wanted that to happen to you. The aesthetic of animation does not fit well with living flesh. Huge eyes, near-nonexistent noses, and mouths that could vary from tiny ticks to wide, all-encompassing maws... it was all horrible.

Scientists were evenly divided between finding a cure and methods of preventing infection for that exact reason. Of course, those already infected were more invested in the cure. Nobody wants to look that way in real life, even with access to Hammerspace and physics-defying bosoms with unachievable figures. The downside was that any female-identifying member of the Infected who wore skirts inevitably had their privacy violated by circumstance. Pants, naturally, became the hottest fashion choice among all those at risk.

Some people liked the infection, despite the disturbing end of the symptoms. Hammerspace evened out the dating game and almost ended domestic abuse overnight. People could summon their pent-up emotions and use them to effect others, the real world, or things in their aura. News events dealing with the inevitable aftermath of overpowered anime blasts, ready access to Hammerspace, and creepy emotion-driven influence were all over the place.

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Challenge #02908-G351: Engagement Approval Feast

A: How do you like my fiancé cooking?

B: ... marry him

A: th-that’s the plan

B: Marry him faster -- Anon Guest

There is one hurdle when introducing a potential lifemate to Abuela. How well does the intended cook? Not just one dish, several. Not just one meal. A variety of them. There would be no useless partners collected under Abuela's watch.

"My husband, much though I loved him, was useless," she said as she told the tale. "When I fell

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Challenge #02905-G348: Fresh Out of the (Brain) Pan

A gingerbread man lives in a gingerbread house. Is the house is made of flesh, or Is he made of house? He screams for he does not know. -- Anon Guest

[AN: I do recall a comic on this theme, so it is hard to not riff on that. No, it's not the one you referenced.]

Sugar, spice, everything nice, a modicum of flour. All the things that make a treat. Hands moulded them into shapes. Imagination gave them life. Well. Some

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Challenge #02900-G343: The Benevolence Gene

On Earth, in the 20th and 21st century, they had the Publisher's Clearing House Sweepstakes. The winner won a certain amount that was paid in weekly payments for the rest of the person's life as well as an advance of a lump sum. This continued even after the Shattering. In addition to fairly inexpensive products, the PCH's contest continued. And once again, a new winner was chosen. Though it sometimes took a little bit to find the winner when people traveled to

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Challenge #02889-G332: Not Approved Progress

Now we are all sons of bitches - Kenneth Bainbridge, after testing the first nuclear bomb -- Anon Guest

[AN: I've been made aware of the Shiva quote, but that happened after the detonation in war as far as I recall]

Destruction. Devastation. Brutal elimination of the enemy, their buildings, their society. That has always been the ultimate goal of war. Winning, however, has gone further than razing the enemy castle and salting the ground so that they can no longer prosper.

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Challenge #02885-G328: A Jellyware Issue

99 bugs in the code, 99 bugs in the code, you take one down patch it around, 173 bugs in the code -- Anon Guest

[AN: I have lived that nightmare]

Picture if you will, a world divided in two. Strictly regimented by gender roles that only existed in a handful of halcyon days in certain areas of the united states. The people who made it wanted to return to those days of glory before realising that such glory was unsustainable.

Because

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Challenge #02884-G327: Narrativium Foil

"Take it from someone who has batted for both teams..." The villainess purred in deliberate innuendo just to enjoy getting the defiant heroine's face to turn that lovely shade of embarrassed pink. "...deep down, regardless of whatever bull they might try and sell the world and themselves, heroes and villains are exactly the same."

She regarded her cocktail a moment, draining it then tossing the glass carelessly aside, leaving her seat and beginning to approach.

"We all do it for that high

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Challenge #02878-G321: I'm Doing My Best Over Here

If I had a dollar for every time a extra-dimensional portal appeared and gave me powers, I would have two. Which isn’t much, but it’s weird that it happened twice. -- Anon Guest

Did you know it kind'a sucks to be able to recognise an extradimensional stick with a human on it[1]? I can tell you for free that it creeps me out every single time. The first time, I was five and thought my kindergarten teacher was a

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Challenge #02877-G320: Just Because You Can...

time to get spooky -- Anon Guest

[AN: Video linked is some very clever stop animation and I do NOT believe those are actual organic pumpkins. That would be WAY too involved for a piece of art that took months to make. Double cleverness is inventing Halloween lyrics to fit in with Hall of the Mountain King]

Human creativity knew no bounds. One of their favourites was creating the impossible. Inanimate vegetable matter should not have expressions. Once carved to have expressions,

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Challenge #02875-G318: Drastic Action

So about 8 months ago security forces kept seeing these reflective belts in the brush and they would go to chase them and they would keep getting away so finally somebody realized that there were reflective belts on the deer. So they catch one of these deer and there's names on these belts. Apparently the marines had been tackling the deer and putting belts on them they would of gotten away with it to but they left their names. -- Anon Guest

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Challenge #02846-G289: Autologged Specimen Number [UNINTELLIGIBLE]

A: Wait you can teleport?!

B: Not exactly, my bloodline is able to slip into the realm between realms, and your mind can’t understand what’s happening so it’s sees nothing at all. With a little bit of focus I can slip though walls as well.

A: Well then, USE THAT TO GET US OUT OF HERE!

B: Let me put this this way, just because I’m able to swim though lava doesn’t mean you can. -- Anon

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Challenge #02830-G273: One Last Angel

I’ve always knew that death would come. Don’t know where, don’t know when. Death always looms over everyone and I know my time has come. It’s fine, I lived a full life, I’m one of the few to meet their great great grandchildren. They knew I was gonna to pass so they stayed by my side. At the end that when I saw death.I could barely move, I could barely speak. Death reached into his cloak

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Challenge #02808-G251: The Revenge Paradox

“Do you want revenge?” I offer this many times, call me cruel or whatnot. The offer still stand. I offer you new life, let’s not be bound by the chains of hatred and live a glorious life! There’s a thing called karma and it pays twofold. Watch as you victim wallow in despair, and become jealous of your new spirit held high. Watch as they beg you to come back to their lives. That’s where you truly know, you

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Challenge #02806-G249: Not as We Know it

Could intelligent life arise around deepsea hydrothermal vents? -- Anon Guest

Intelligent life is very egocentric when theorising about other intelligent life. They imagine distant worlds like their own, with lifeforms possessing body patterns like their own. They don't often look much further than their own evolutionary path to pat themselves on the back and say, Yes. Aliens will be a lot like us.

The scientists of Earth frequently ignore the intelligent life already present around them. Cetaceans and octopi are examples

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Challenge #02805-G248: A Need of Dragons

They arrived from many places around the world, and yet, they all seemed to know how to get to the village. Those from other nations found funds and tickets to planes waiting for them, as well as all information they needed to get to that place. The ones already in that continent traveling on foot, by surprisingly convenient rides, by rail, etc., all the same, to find themselves on a wide, easily traversed, path into the forests. The strange thing is, the

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