Amalgam Universe

Challenge #02822-G265: Comedy vs Offensensitivity

"Although your jokes are funny, please never say them again.” Upon hearing this the person suddenly began to laugh, just like how he began he stop. “Never.” The person formed a cheeky grin “though Jokes usually make people laugh, some don’t. But always have the same principal: leave you different than you first started.” “Jokes are supposed to make you laugh-“ the person wave their finger in front of my face “jokes like that is like eating ice cream: eat too much the taste goes bland and my tongue goes numb”

Got the idea off this:

https://youtu.be/knIroVvPZU4 -- Anon Guest

[AN: There's also the philosophy of satire aiming solely at the people who deserve it. If you're kicking someone while they're down, then you're not funny - you're a bully]

Comedy is a funny thing, and that's not meant to be taken literally. Knowing what's funny and where is a vital skill. Telling an accidental joke will get you further than attempting to tell a joke that will not sail in the local area. Consider the exploding outhouse versus the collapsing four-poster and the fish applied vigorously to another's face.

Once you're in the greater hub of the Galactic Alliance, the guarantee of a good laugh is harder to obtain. It takes real skill to be funny without hurting someone. The target should always be the willfully ignorant, those who steal from those who need, and those who refuse to learn.

"I'd never want to try humanitarian debate with a Deregger CEO. Just don't do it. Whatever you think your sins are, this is not the punishment anyone deserves," said Comedian Vresk. If there was any obvious target, it was Dereggers. "It's like there's a conspiracy theory for every occasion. It doesn't matter if they contradict themselves, so long as they're the smartest person in the room."

Support me on Patreon / Buy me a Ko-fi

Prompts remaining: 85 Submit a Prompt! Ask a question! Buy my stories!

Challenge #02820-G263: You're Adopted!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jM8dCGIm6yc -- Anon Guest

[AN: Watch it. Be amazed]

Humans may not be the only species who have weaponised music, but they are the only ones who have weaponised it so effectively. Many have known the sheer horror of thousands of Humans with their voices raised in one song. Scarier still is one Human with some impressive vocal skills.

Soprano is just one of them. The ability to project is another. Throat singing, however, is one

Challenge #02819-G262: A Ghost of Hope

✋︎♐︎ ⍓︎□︎◆︎ ♋︎❒︎♏︎ ❒︎♏︎♍︎♏︎♓︎❖︎♓︎■︎♑︎ ⧫︎♒︎♓︎⬧︎📪︎ ⧫︎♒︎♓︎⬧︎ ❍︎♋︎⍓︎ ♌︎♏︎ ⧫︎♒︎♏︎ ♐︎♓︎❒︎⬧︎⧫︎ □︎❒︎ ●︎♋︎⬧︎⧫︎ ⧫︎♓︎❍︎♏︎ ⍓︎□︎◆︎❼︎❒︎♏︎ ♒︎♏︎♋︎❒︎ ♐︎❒︎□︎❍︎ ❍︎♏︎📬︎ ✋︎♐︎ ⍓︎□︎◆︎ ♒︎♋︎❖︎♏︎ ⧫︎♒︎♓︎⬧︎ ⍓︎□︎◆︎ ❍︎◆︎⬧︎⧫︎ ⬥︎♋︎■︎⧫︎ ⬧︎□︎❍︎♏︎⧫︎♒︎♓︎■︎♑︎ ♐︎❒︎□︎❍︎ ❍︎♏︎📬︎ 👌︎♏︎♐︎□︎❒︎♏︎ ♋︎■︎⍓︎❍︎□︎❒︎♏︎ □︎♐︎ ❍︎⍓︎ ♎︎♋︎⧫︎♋︎ ♌︎♏︎♓︎■︎♑︎ ♍︎□︎❒︎❒︎◆︎◻︎⧫︎♏︎♎︎📪︎ ❍︎♏︎♏︎⧫︎ ❍︎♏︎ ♋︎⧫︎ -- Anon Guest

[AN: Provided translation - "I︎f︎ y︎o︎u︎ a︎r︎e︎ r︎e︎c︎e︎i︎v︎i︎n︎g︎ t︎h︎i︎s︎,︎ t︎h︎i︎s︎ m︎a︎y︎ b︎e︎ t︎h︎e︎ f︎i︎r︎s︎t︎ o︎r︎ l︎a︎s︎t︎ t︎i︎m︎e︎ y︎o︎u︎’︎r︎e︎ h︎e︎a︎r︎ f︎r︎o︎m︎ m︎e︎.︎ I︎f︎ y︎o︎u︎ h︎a︎v︎e︎ t︎h︎i︎

Challenge #02818-G261: Payback's a Blessing

They bounced from station to station helping out where they could. Due to the family they were born in to, they'd inherited enough time to live more than comfortably, but they didn't want to just sit around and do nothing for the rest of their life. So, taking training in security, combat, engineering, and several other, useful, fields, they went between stations, and aboard ships, just helping out. When offered contracts and pay for their work? The answer was always the same.

Challenge #02817-G260: The Planet's Haunted?

The storm-damaged ship manages to land safely on a planet where resources are minimal at best. The entire crew are level one and level two haven-worlders, but they have one death-worlder aboard. An 8 year old human child. They were transporting the child to a space station as the child had recently been rescued from kidnappers who were now sitting in prison.

On this planet, not everything is what it appears. Food keeps showing up at the entryway and footsteps can be

Challenge #02816-G259: I'll Try to be Nice

"Nobody has to die today." -- Anon Guest

You can say a lot with small words. Wisdom comes in those with multiple uses. Five words can be a promise, a threat, a reassurance, or an absolute and utter lie. Humans use all of them at once, and pretend they knew what was the winner after the fact.

Unless the Ships' Human makes it very, very clear which one they're using, it's just better to play along. In the Case of the Valiant

Challenge #02815-G258: Best Instincts at Work

Some Positive Vibes and maybe a good story Prompt.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4RIhUUt88ZM -- Anon Guest

Humans are not telepathic. They are -on average- not prescient. However, watching Human parentals with their young in a series of miraculous rescues causes many to suspect the Humans may be lying about this. So too do phrases like, "I can hear what you're thinking," which is a common Human expression to mean, "I am reading all your physical tells and can correctly

Challenge #02814-G257: A Good Question

Aliens seeing and hearing lyrebird. That's it. That's the whole prompt. -- Anon Guest

The rocket thrust engines sounded at full throttle. They sounded from the throat of an otherwise grey and ordinary-looking bird with an ornate tail. After it was done rumbling, it imitated the sound of a few imager trigger sounds. Then it replicated precisely the zoo closing warning.

"Bing bing bong. The zoo will be closing in fifteen minutes. Please make your way towards the exit. The zoo will

Challenge #02813-G256: So Vulnerable

I want to see aliens that think humans are cute. Like, they get a Ship's Human because Rules, and when they meet them, they're just...

Oh, it's so cute! Must. Protect.

And it ends in mayhem and hilarity. -- Anon Guest

They had been against having a Ship's Human, but they were exploring and documenting the Edge Territories, so it was mandatory. Those meaty Deathworlders would only cause chaos and destruction. They even had to get a new ship made entirely of

Challenge #02811-G254: A Show of Respect

Have you ever looked at a young human and thought "this is a creature that should terrify me"? I have. My unit came upon an educational facility. We had been scouting the planet, carefully, silently. The humans thought we were just tourists, we did our best to blend in. Find their weaknesses, they seemed to have many. But it was not until what we sat in that educational facility that fateful evening that convinced all of us that this colony was not

Challenge #02810-G253: Remember Rule One

A new combat instructor was assigned to my battalion. If I remember the instructor is that of the human race. They were formerly introduced to us and to be honest I was not impressed. The human was only two-thirds my size and look squishy as a havenworlder, hard to believe that they’re from a deathworld. I was given the chance to spar with the human, I couldn’t even touch them. -- Anon Guest

Many hear a word like "Deathworlder" and

Challenge #02809-G252: Don't Be Fooled

Lots of stories with humans and delicate avian Havenworlders. How about one where the 'bird' descended from something like a cassowary. -- Knitnan

[AN: Compared with Humans, Cassowaries still have their weak points. The trick, of course, is getting close enough to exploit them. Cassowaries count as aviasaurs, and may not be Havenworlders by technicality.]

People tend to assume. If a cogniscent species looks like a bird, it's probably a Havenworlder. Many people coming across the aviasaurs make that assumption. Too many

Challenge #02804-G247: How Can I Help?

We're out there, you know. The people who slip through the cracks. The ones that hurt too much to really succeed but don't hurt obviously enough to get help. It's a terrible feeling, to be jealous of someone who's in more pain than you are, just because they have legally mandated support. -- Anon Guest

[AN: Speaking as someone who's lived in the cracks, I get it. It's one of the reasons my pet universe has systems that patch the cracks.]

You

Challenge #02803-G246: TFW Memed in Combat

here, have a rick roll -- Anon Guest

[AN: Link does not lead to a Rickroll but rather a six-second anime clip featuring someone's mondo BFG power attack]

Human Memetic attacks are something to watch. Preferably from a safe distance. Everyone knows the one about the attacking fleet that was brought to a standstill by the power of a Rickroll virus[1]. Thusly, they have learned to feat the threat of bringing Humans into any war.

Those gung-ho balding apes will try

Challenge #02802-G245: The Difficult Choice

Sometimes the deadliest part of a viral infection is not the virus itself, but the immune reaction to the virus. So what happens if an apocalyptic mad-scientist type unleashes a viral pandemic that will cause every deathworlder species he could get his hands on to die because their own immune systems will basically liquefy their lungs, gills, or other oxygen-extracting apparatus, but forgets to take into account that a virus that uses strong immune systems to attack will completely bypass higher-level havenworlders?

Menu

A 2284-post collection

Challenge #02822-G265: Comedy vs Offensensitivity

Challenge #02820-G263: You're Adopted!

Challenge #02819-G262: A Ghost of Hope

Challenge #02818-G261: Payback's a Blessing

Challenge #02817-G260: The Planet's Haunted?

Challenge #02816-G259: I'll Try to be Nice

Challenge #02815-G258: Best Instincts at Work

Challenge #02814-G257: A Good Question

Challenge #02813-G256: So Vulnerable

Challenge #02811-G254: A Show of Respect

Challenge #02810-G253: Remember Rule One

Challenge #02809-G252: Don't Be Fooled

Challenge #02804-G247: How Can I Help?

Challenge #02803-G246: TFW Memed in Combat

Challenge #02802-G245: The Difficult Choice