Realm of the InterNutter

Thoughts, stories and ideas.

Challenge #01455-C360: Monster?

http://modmad.tumblr.com/post/154298352575/thelittlemonsterlover-x

Large scary demonic creature and the tiny child that keeps putting flower crowns on it. -- Anon Guest

[AN: I wish I knew what the writing in the comic said, but I shall do my best]

I am the thing that bumps in the night. I am fear incarnate. I am terror. I am the fate that waits for bad children. I am a monster in the dark. I am... Nightmare.

For untold centuries, I grew strong on the fears of children. I knew nothing better. I preyed on those who wandered too far. I devoured those who strayed from the beaten path.

Life... was. It was neither good nor bad. I had no experience of such things. Not until I met Daisy.

She wore a white hoodie made for someone much taller than her. On her, it was a dress, and the long sleeves had been rudely cut so that her hands peeked out of them. Her legs were caked over with black mud from the forest floor, and she was picking flowers.

I showed myself in the usual way, but she was not concerned. She kept humming an aimless song to herself and picking summer flowers.

"Fear me," I said.

"Why?"

"Because I am a monster."

"You're not a monster," said Daisy, and kept harvesting blossoms. Some, she wove into a chain. Others, she placed in the large pocket in her hoodie's front.

I had never met such a child. "Fear me!" I demanded, picking her up and shaking her. "I am your death!"

"You're not scary," she said and offered me a posy from her pocket. "Want to be friends?"

Friends? I did not know the word. "I want to eat," I growled. "Why aren't you afraid of me?"

She linked her chain of flowers into a loop and placed it on my head. "You're not as scary as Unca Rob."

It was the first gift I had ever received. The first kindness I had ever known. That sort of thing is meant to kill monsters... and yet, I did not die.

My grip on her gentled. I put her down. "Why did you do that?"

"You're lonely. I'm lonely, too. Are we friends, now?"

She told me about her 'uncle'. A man who had married her mother after her father died, and who kept her now that her mother had died, too. Well, he said he kept her. She never got new clothes and always got new bruises and sometime, her 'uncle' would come into her bed and hurt her in other places.

I felt a new hunger, then. And... hatred.

"Do you want bad things to happen to your uncle?" I asked. "I could be his monster..."

"Don't eat him all up, he's all I have," said Daisy.

She was... nice to me. She was... my friend. I felt I owed her something... nice... in return.

Foreign words and foreign feelings driving me, I became her other guardian. Every time Uncle Rob came into her bedroom at night, he would find me there, and I would feast on his fear. Every time he hurt her, I would follow him until he swore to never do it again. Every time he wanted to buy liquor instead of good things, he would see me in any reflective surface.

I am good at what I do.

And what I do now is... I eat monsters. More often, I eat monstrousness, but the result is the same. And I am very well fed.

(Muse food remaining: 11. Submit a Prompt! Ask a question! Buy my stories! Or comment below!)

Christmas eve!

We've done all our shopping (I hope!) and got all our things for the glorious morrow.

And as an extra bonus, this Yule happens on a weekend, so I don't need to worry about my novel's word count. And I really don't need to worry about an Instant, either, since it's my day off.

And I especially don't need to worry about the gap between the Instant count and the days of the year... because of all the double prompts I've been

Read more »

Challenge #01454-C359: Wild Terra

The Irwin character and their adventures on Earth -- Anon Guest

[AN: once again, pre-yule shopping took me away from doing this]

"Now in most areas of human habitation, the goal is to cover as much of the body as possible. But here--" images of Surfer's Paradise, "--the rules are turned upside-down. Unless you're one of these blokes," images of surfers in their full-body surf suits. "Their vibrant colours tell the sharks that live in the water that they're not good to

Read more »

Quietly dying

The good news is: LCHF isn't killing me. The bad news is that dehydration got in the way first.

Not helped by the Lurgi and the infection it brought along for the ride.

When you're doing Keto, or LCHF, one of the big problems is getting enough liquids into you. The old sugary stuff could go down quick, for sure, but as you may recall, sugars are off the menu.

I don't know why so much liquid is needed... Maybe it's because

Read more »

Challenge #01453-C358: The Urban Human

An alien naturalist, performing a David Attenborough-style documentary on Earth.

Potential sequel: As above, but replace "David Attenborough" with "Steve Irwin". -- Shkspr1048

[AN: Sorry I'm so late, dear readers. Yulemas shopping spree]

"And this... is the average human population density of the planet Terra." The image showed the interior of a shopping mall on a slow hour. Humans populous enough to get in each others' way if they were determined to do so, but not enough to be in each others'

Read more »

Very slightly annoyed

Following yesterday's rant about Modern Medicine and how it likes patients being sick, I got a little bit more information about how things went.

The only alternatives available in the early 70's were (a) powdered formula that was probably mostly sugars or the wrong kinds of fats, and (b) canned milk. Neither of these did me any good. And, as far as I'm aware, the knowledge about the benefits of goat's milk came by random happenstance.

One article in the Lancet can

Read more »

Challenge #01452-C357: Cute and Bombproof

http://haberdashing.tumblr.com/post/154304792219/jumperjohn-you-know-that-one-post-about-humans

"You know that one post about humans being really durable compared to aliens and that one about humans being really cute to aliens?

What if they were both true at the same time. Like the aliens decide to take their human on a landing mission because they get so excited and it’s so cute but then a storm hits and they crash. And the aliens are all freaking out because they can’t be

Read more »

Murderous Modern Medical Science

Yesterday, I promised you, my dear reader, that I would tell the sordid story of how modern medicine nearly snuffed my talent out in the cradle. But before I get onto that tale of intrigue, business ventures, and just plain fucking up... I have to define a few things.

"Modern Medicine", when I use it in the context of this story, is actually shorthand for "modern medicine at the time" because modern medicine is constantly in flux and capable of change. Except

Read more »

Challenge #01451-C356: Nice Doggy

"Aww! Whose a cute little puppy- poo!"

"I have seen dogs. That is definitely no where near a dog,"

"Oh, leave the little cutie alone,"

"I'm serious, are you blind?" -- OohLookShiny

Gorqax sighed. "Look. I can tell you're going to be pedantic about this. A dog is a non-cogniscent deathworlder mammal of Terran origin that is quadrupedal, fur-bearing, and carnivorous."

"Yes, that is the definition." Plegg rolled hir eyes.

"This creature that I am currently grooming is also a non-cogniscent deathworlder

Read more »

Ch-ch-chaaangeeeesss...

I thought I was zen about change. I thought I was cool with everything that SPG collectively decided to alter.

But then they announced that Sam Luke was leaving for his own artistic stuff, and my beloved woobie child Hatchworth was gone from the robots I adore.

So my ASD hatred of change kicked up and resulted in a stab of fear through the heart, and now I have the sads. It's not as if he's died for cryin' out loud, but

Read more »

Challenge #01450-C355: To Save the World

"I picked you up, even when you were covered in slime after he spat you out! You were technically vomit, and you were still the most beautiful thing I'd ever laid eyes on!" -- Anon Guest

"It's a good thing you told me about the uvula," she allowed, "but... a thing? Really?"

"Only by base technicality, dear," cooed Blasingstoke. "You are a machine."

Miss Cliq sighed at him. "Fine. You get away with it for now. No more objectifying cogniscents."

"Yes dear,

Read more »

Learning stuff

My favourite saying is, "I'm a writer. I research stuff for fun." Well, I'm going to have myself a lot of fun, sometime real soon now.

Why?

Because we're going to start ourselves on some aquaponics.

Aquaponics solves the problems of hydroponics (delivering nutrients into the system) and aquaculture (fish farming) has the similar problem of getting excess nutrients out of the system. Marry the two together and you get a self-sustaining system that has very little in the way of tweaking.

Read more »

Challenge #01449-C354: Sorry, I'm Redacted

[Person #1, in an actual, audible conversation]: [Person #2], I know you're frustrated, and I feel very ████ about that, but █████ ███████████ to ██████████ ██████ with ████████████ ██████████ ████ █████████

[Person #2]: STOP DOING THAT!!! -- RecklessPrudence

"I really can't, El. Ever since I signed a ND contract with ███████████, they installed an auto-redactor in my █████████████ so that no industry secrets can accidentally escape."

"Well, at least try to keep away from industry secrets, Vi."

"I would, but they've even copyrighted words like ████, and that's one of my favourites. I wish

Read more »

Definite improvements

Thanks to the antibiotic, I'm getting less green things coming out of me. And thanks to a little bit more approved carbs1, I'm getting rid of the nastiness at lightning rates.

I could do without the epic purge of mucous, about two hours after I've gone to bed... but that's just how my body wants to roll.

Hopefully, this will be the last time in my life that I'll be on antibiotics.

My breathing is easier. My mind is clear... and

Read more »

Challenge #01448-C353: Long-term Effects of Stupid Decisions

"In a fit of rage, he got extremely scientific."

Tour guide at the Oregon Vortex, possibly describing Stanford Pines. -- RecklessPrudence

"He employed every sensing device available, in the place where horses refused to go," said the guide. "And more than a few that he invented himself. Results were confounding, to say the least. Keep in mind that this occurred in the early twenty-first century, well before post-Shattering complete scanners. He had to collate and calculate his data on his own."

The

Read more »