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Realm of the InterNutter

Thoughts, stories and ideas.

Challenge #01511-D050: This House is Not Haunted

http://goddammitstacey.tumblr.com/post/155552788003 "I just turned to my housemate and said, “y’know, we’d never know if we were haunted” because we have four cats between us, so every clunk, bump, and crash gets entirely ignored and now I want a movie about a ghost becoming increasingly desperate to haunt a family but they have cats and so the poor dear goes completely ignored" -- Gallifreya

I was, once.

Nothing more than that. Simply that I was, once. As in, I was a single lady living alone. I was incredibly protective of my home and my things. I was alive. Not any more. I'm still in my house and I don't like it when other people move in. I make... trouble.

Shifting things around. Throwing things off of their places. Moving things into odd places. All the usual poltergeist stuff. And it did work for years. I kept my house all to myself. And then they moved in. Two nice lesbians and their five cats. They say ghosts and cats don't get along. They don't know anything.

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Whooopsy

We went to the movies, yesterday. And picked up a whole lot of sugar-free lollies. And made the mistake of eating huge amounts of them.

Commercially-available artificial sweeteners are usually the kind that have the side-effect of loosening your stool.

You can guess that some of us had a very interesting night.

Mayhem is going to have a very interesting day, too, because I just discovered some outright fraud on his behalf. I had told him to fold and sort, and it

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Challenge #01510-D049: One Dark Night in a Disreputable Alley

"If you get arrested, I don't know you."

"Love you too," -- OohLookShiny

Sam had to remind herself to keep watching the street. "No you don't," she said. "There's no non-vocal indicators in your general behaviour, and you have a complete lack of interest in anything I say that's not crime-scene related."

Behind her, at the distance of plausible deniability, Frank kept twiddling with the lock. "It's metaphorical love, Sanguine."

"So... a lie." Sam checked the other way without making it look

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So much for that

We didn't get to exercise, yesterday. I'm going to have to badger Beloved to go for a walk come Monday. No excuses, no BS. We both have to get back on track.

The good news is that I'm still losing weight. Just... a lot slower and a lot more randomly.

The bad news is that I am still asthmatic. I needed to use Max, this morning, for a saline dose. My lungs were a little clogged, and it hurt to breathe in.

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Challenge #01509-D048: The Fundraising Franger

This is an Aussie thing, you go to vote locally, and outside will be a barbecue set up selling snags (sausages), wrapped round with a slice of bread, onions and sauce, plus soft drinks. Fundraisers for good causes. No politics, just, "tomato or barbecue, Mate?" Those of us who are on diets or vegans usually donate the price of a 'snag'. -- Anon Guest

First, they came for the cake stall, and Valerie didn't speak up because cake was a sometimes food,

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Recruiting

I've hired new cleaners to help out with keeping the house in good nick. Yay me. And while I was working with them, the discussion meandered into diet and who's eating what. Which was an excellent opportunity to glance on LCHF and Keto.

And I also showed them Overdrive by Steam Powered Giraffe. Because they're awesome.

Turns out we're all nerds, so we can gas about our favourite nerdy stuff whilst also setting the house to order. Bonus.

And on top of

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Challenge #01508-D047: The Nature of Hell

http://writing-prompt-s.tumblr.com/post/156684722295

"Due to a loophole in the system, people can escape hell and get to heaven after death. You go to hell and all you see is Satan, just sitting there playing the harmonica. Everyone left him and now he’s all alone." -- Gallifreya

Jean Paul Sartre said that hell is other people. He could not be more wrong. Though other people have their disadvantages, the true hell is loneliness. Hell was made to be vast,

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Gaulish Swears...

So my previous queueing system decided to die. Without warning. And now I'm back to putting them in five minutes apart. Like a doof.

I hurt my wrists by doing all my creative projects, yesterday. I have learned, again, the perils of writing too much, too fast.

Any never to give my wrists a breather, I am using speech to text. It is, as always, very entertaining. Especially for anybody in peanut gallery.

Beloved saw my ranting, and though we haven't talked

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Challenge #01507-D046: In Memorium

No matter how I go, I want it reported that I drowned in moonlight, strangled by my own bra. - Carrie Fisher -- RecklessPrudence

Official reports be damned. There was a way she wanted to be remembered, and that is how those who loved her reported it. All over the world. Even in the news. They named the official cause, but added, "she wanted it known that she drowned in moonlight, strangled by her own bra."

It was poetry, and it persisted.

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AUGH (again)

New job, new rules. On one hand, Beloved is no longer in Cubicle Hell working 9-5. On the other hand, Beloved now seems determined to work 24/7.

When I went to bed, Beloved was working on some program, as they had been all evening. The hot, fresh, yummy food I had made for them had gone stone cold.

When I got up in the morning, Beloved was still working on some program. They had eaten maybe three bites of the dinner

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Challenge #01506-D045: One Depressing Interlude in a Cosy Home

"Once it was proposed to me that it was all right to be like I am, I finally quit apologizing for it." - Carrie Fisher -- RecklessPrudence

Ami collapsed into her comfort nook. "If anyone wants me, I'm no longer in existence."

Tam sighed and put down her project in her mini-workshop. "Bad day at the office?"

"...it's a wonderful day for the creative spirit," Ami mumbled. She curled up tighter on herself and turned on the tiny lights that turned her

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Swing and a miss

Just when I get into the swing of things, the pendulum shifts and everything goes agley all over again.

Beloved is taking off in the early-early morning, before I can even badger the kids into getting their lunchboxes together. Which means no morning exercises. Which means finding a time in the afternoon to go do it.

Which hasn't happened, so far.

Tomorrow evening, we should be walking around the blocks, again. Starting with the long block and, if we can, going around

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Challenge #01505-D044: Convoluted Revenge

“Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die. ” - Carrie Fisher -- RecklessPrudence

There had never been a more elaborate plot to advance a child in the history of anywhere. It was so elaborate that it didn't come to light until years after the fact, when they found Chatelaine Fairweather's diary.

It began, as most things do, with a snub. Chatelaine Fairweather's daughter was passed over for advancement to the Lady's Maid, or even one of them,

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Cue "Yakety Sax"

That's "The Benny Hill Theme" to many of you dear readers. Ideal music for running about like a chook after a chook with a curly grub.

So this was yesterday:

  • Get Chaos ready for her psych visit
  • Forget to urge Mayhem into motion
  • See Beloved off to work
  • Prepare for a long-arse trip there and back again
  • Just as it's time to go, realise that Mayhem fell asleep instead of getting ready and have an emotional blowout
  • Drive Mayhem to school
  • Realise
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Challenge #01504-D043: Puzzling Piece

“And when you’re young you want to fit in. Hell, I still want to fit in with certain [sophonts], but as you get older you get a little more discriminating.” - Carrie Fisher -- RecklessPrudence

Even when he didn't have the words for it, Rael knew that he was different from his creche sibs. They were able to do more, work more efficiently. They didn't need as much of the hosts of chemicals they regularly added to Rael's mostly-liquid body. They

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