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Realm of the InterNutter

Thoughts, stories and ideas.

PLNs and stuff

Today, Mayhem is going to get his firkin phone fixed. At midday. Which means that my temporally-challenged arse has to keep an eye on the passing hours.

Not easy when I'm in Holiday Mode.

Holiday mode has me thinking things like, "Hey, I can nap between ten and sometime this afternoon!" and does that. Or I go, "I can watch videos all firkin day," and do that.

Hell, I woke up at 2AM [Beloved's fault, they stayed up until the wee small, and woke me up by coming to bed] and then spent the better part of two hours faffing about on my phone.

I just. Do. Not. Learn.

I will. Eventually.

But not this morning, evidently.

Challenge #01915-E091: Surprising Nutrition

All fungi are edible. It's just that most are edible only once. -- Anon Guest

[AN: I recognise that Terry Pratchett quote!]

"There's food all around us," said their nature guide. Teaching these wayward kids some wilderness survival skills. "Can you point out what's edible?"

Tilly, the quiet one, said, "Everything. The real question is: what's edible more than once?"

Nature Guide Sam winced. Right. Some of these kids were on the spectrum and took things to literal extremes. Or extreme literalism,

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Whoops

Today has been a clusterfuck.

Got Mayhem ready for his make-up day of traineeship just fine. Yay. Then got informed LATE that I would be the one taking him in. Which meant rousing Chaos because you don't leave anyone at home who's under fourteen because law.

Which also meant a two hour round trip because traffic jam and extra exhaustion on my part because I just don't travel well.

Whoop. Whoop.

That plus my digestive system getting rid of the extra carbs

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Challenge #01914-E090: Primate See...

One person or animal discovers how to do something, think barb on a fish hook, monkey's using salt water to separate rice and baboons catching protein rich flamingos. One creature, but the whole clan picks it up. -- Anon Guest

Civilisation rises on the phrase, watch and learn. There are stories centering around clever and wily people who tricked, crept, or sneaked their way into learning important secrets from Gods, Spirits, or other Magical beings.

Sometimes, those beings come from the stars.

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Hocus Pocus

I need to focus.

Once again, my scattershot brain is not staying on task. It wants to do all the fun things, like reading fanfic, writing fanfic, and tooling around on Tumblr for more Shiny Elf Pics.

BUT...

There's the post-Erastide cleanup to do, and I gotta do a bank run before time gets away from me. Again.

Today for realsies, I am doing the Beta Prep for Rael and when it's done, I shall put out a General Call. Desperately Seeking

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Challenge #01913-E089: They Do What Now?

The rise of the mammals, primates such as humans included, was something of an evolutionary fluke. The world was dominated by proto-avian, likely feathered behemoths before the rise of the mammals. What if humans were the only mammalian species to evolve "cogniscience", and mammalian species are otherwise quite rare? Reptilian, avian, cephalopodic, or insectoid life might be far more common. Aliens must find humans quite odd. -- Nani

It's almost natural for newly spacefaring species to be egocentric. They are, after all,

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How was your Easter?

I ate a bunch of chocolate, had some of that garlic bread that was calling me, finished Bingeing I, Zombie and fucking passed out for the rest of the day.

Carb coma. Happened to both my Beloved and I. And no, my diabetic SO did not have a dangerous crash, thanks for not panicking. No, we just slept off all of that sugar and felt like shit for our conscious moments.

Not doing that again in a hurry.

That was a no-protein

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Challenge #01912-E088: Just a Wee Dram Ye Ken

It's St Patrick's Day, Irish Pub - Feegles. (AKA the Wee Free Men, of Sir Terry's Discworld.) -- Anon Guest

Up the airy mountain,
Down the rushy glen,
We daren’t go a-hunting
For fear of little men; -- William Allingham, The Fairies

Britain has an Agency for everything. National Health, Child Welfare, Disability Assistance, you name it, they have it. They're also the home headquarters of UNIT and WHO, the United Nations International Taskforce and the Weird Happenings Organisation, respectively. And

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Gottalottachoklit?

Well... I don't really know. Not for sure. Beloved has been plying the house with all sorts of carb-loaded treats for the holiday, so my Monday will likely be spent on a fast. Or mopping up the sad remains of whatever carbs happen to be left over. I haven't made up my mind, yet.

But, given that I have that inflammation stiffness in my throat that usually means a saline dose on Max... I'm putting my money on 'fast'. Asthma is a

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Challenge #01911-E087: Uptick in Downsizing

Recently retired or otherwise unemployed mildly clueless accountant overhears diners at a nearby table discussing a business difficulty and offers advice.

They seek him out periodically for more. Eventually hiring him to handle their books and offer other periodic advice.

He doesn't realize that they are the mob. He also doesn't realize that he is moving quickly up the ranks because the irregularities he finds in the books lead to catching leaks, or people skimming off the top. Or that by pointing

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::William Tell at 15RPM::

I have zero plans beyond my Instant Fiction, today. And powering through as much I, Zombie as I can because if we spend too much time on it, it'll cost us money for the re-rental of the service.

Stan is only good for one thing: I, Zombie. The rest of it sucks and it isn't worth the fees and charges.

Other than that, I have no news. Health is fine, despite the heinous amounts of shop-bought carbohydrates over the last couple of

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Challenge #01910-E086: All Due Caution

“Lieutenant, stop petting the wildlife.”

“With all due respect, sir, the wildlife is damn fluffy.” -- TheDragonsFlame

Look with your eyes, not with your hands. -- Human parental expression.

Humans are tactile creatures, for all that they're evolved to understand the world primarily through vision. Their young will prioritise it thusly - see a thing, touch a thing, and if possible, stick it in their mouth. Ninety percent of parenting a human is making certain they don't do this. Especially the last

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::Opening notes of William Tell::

Today is pretty much going to be absorbed, amoeba-like, by a three-hour round trip to Captain S for fish on Friday.

Which means that I get as much of my work done now as I can, and nap on the ride there. Fun.

And today's exercise is: Not well-actually-ing Capt S when she inevitably trots out some junk science she got from "all these doctors" on some scam she's bought into, this week.

It's pointless arguing with her. She's going to stay

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Challenge #01909-E085: Some Bargain

"Oook!" Life was so much better. With a tip of the hat to Sir Terry. -- Anon Guest

When you got right down to it, being transformed into one of the great apes wasn't that bad. Living expenses became super-cheap when all one needed was a hanging tyre and a blanket or three in a corner. The diet was bland, but affordable. Especially if one knew a guy who knew a guy who worked in gardening and could supply an ape with

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Sigh

Everything is slowed the heck down, and I can't use my phone as a hotspot forever. Data payments.

So now I have to put up with this horseshit and deal.

But the good news is that I'm taking a me-day. After I'm done with today's instant, I am parking myself in front of the TV, bingeing on all the stuff I've wanted to catch up on, and devoting my time to whatever the fuck I wanna do.

Because the school holidays have

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