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Realm of the InterNutter

Thoughts, stories and ideas.

Challenge #01923-E099: They Call Her Queen Badass

"How in the world could a single bottle of alcohol render nearly a dozen of Her Ancient Majesty's finest - oh, and the Millennial Queen Herself! - to nothing but a scattered roomful of unconscious drunks?!"

The taller woman examined the elaborately-decorated crystalline decanter, and then the glasses around each snoring soldier. "Hmm... yeah... I'd say fourteen-thousand-year-old firewine would probably do the trick better than anything..." She paused, re-counting one pile of glasses and then looked back at her partner with a smirk. "On the upside, kudos to Her Majesty for seemingly downing the most shots of them all - looks like she nailed sixteen; most I've ever managed personally was eight..." -- Anon Guest

Humanity is only two and a half million years old. Agriculture as a concept is far younger than that. Nevertheless, they have devoted an astonishing amount of the technological arc to alcohol. Brewing it, distilling it, making stronger and stronger concoctions. Making it tasty.

Galactic citizens, upon finding this out, often wonder aloud what humanity had to do with primitive rocket fuel before they had invented rockets. And then there is a significant amount of stunned silence when they learn that humans enjoy drinking it. Despite the fact that it is obviously a dangerous toxin that impairs brain function.

To which humanity says that that was the point and they enjoy temporary debilitation and the case for humanity's collective insanity is proven once more. And then there's stuff like fourteen-thousand-year firewine.

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Another Cleaning Day

I'm starting to greatly dislike these, tbh. Fortunately, I put aside a chunk of Speck each for just such an occasion. Deep fry those gorgeous shits and dinner is DONE. Boom.

Best fat delivery system ever IMHO.

On sleep news, I think I may have finally re-settled into a regular sleep cycle. Just in time to get it frelled up again by this coming weekend's indulgeances.

If I'm lucky, I might actually get my tub of ice cream.

For those lovely readers

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Challenge #01922-E098: The Big Guns

She unleashed the most powerful, devastating, army-halting, tyrant-toppling weapon... the puppy dog eyes -- TheDragonsFlame

In the times of Dragons, a very young Elf only has one defense. And after the Orcs raided her village, and Tila woke up in a cage, it was a matter of urgency to find a time to use it on creatures who certainly planned to eat her. Once she realised her situation, she certainly couldn't return to anything approaching rest. Every Orc was carrying a young

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Long Term Development

Since Murder Dollhouse is currently slated for the late 2030's [subject to change depending on audience anticipation] I'm going to take my sweet time getting the nut notes together.

I think I'll post updates and whatnot to my Wordpress account. Powers know that thing is almost dead.

It's hard to network and I don't know how it's done, and I keep thinking that all I have to do is keep pumping out content and the peeps will come. And because of that

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Challenge #01921-E097: One Tension-rich Moment During an Ambassadorial Introduction Party

Your annual festival of re-birth is celebrated by eggs laid by a rabbit! -- Anon Guest

"With," corrected Shayde. "It's celebrated with eggs that're hidden by a rabbit. Yer pretty close though. Gold star fer tryin'."

Behind her, just out of restraining reach, Rael breathed out. The confused statement of brand-new Ambassador G'thox were not, in fact, fighting words. If they had come out of someone trying to start a fight, it might have been a different story.

Shayde had over-the-horizon radar

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::static noise::

Beloved is home and sleeping it off. I wish I could be that lucky or that able to follow suit.

The best option I have is caffeine. Which sort of works okay, I guess. But ceases working long about 5PM. But I should be done with the important stuff by then and honestly - who cares that my sleep cycle is broken and needs new tyres?

Nobody.

Sleep aids have to be herbal, dear readers. My biology is such that if I

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Challenge #01920-E096: Cometh the Postman

Humans are social creatures. Even the solitary ones. - MolluscsAndMonsters

Humans like me have a saying: No man is an island. Or words to that effect. And... they're right. Even antisocial assholes like me need to brush shoulders with other cogniscents now and again.

But that's why I have the mail run to the cul-de-sac strings. You get wormhole chains like those. Places where it's ten or more jumps to any nexus, anywhere, and the places along the trip are the places

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FGSFDS

So I irrevocably woke at 1AM today.

It's going to be nasty.

I need to do my monetary fetch quest for cash before I'm too tired to drive. It's cleaning day. I have a sore throat. I have asthma because too many sugary treats are just lying around in the open and I have the self control of a hyperactive toddler.

I need to work on that.

BUT.

Today IS the day that I make an actual conscious effort to use the

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Challenge #01919-E095: I Welcome Our Automated Overlords

At last robots replace politicians and things get done, sort of. think of the pro/anti same sex marriage bill here in the wonderful land of Aus. -- Anon Guest

Everything is getting automated. Everything. There's a company of machines that are churning out placeholder, formulaic potboilers with mad lib plots. Humanity now finally values the creative spirit, because it is about the only thing that cannot be replicated by procedural machines. But even then, the machines are learning.

And, in an

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I can DO this

Broke Keto pretty darn hard, yesterday. Feeling bloated and retaining water today. My fingers are awkward sausages and I only JUST got over yesterday's carb coma.

My focus ability is going out of the window.

BUT...

I have an Instant to write, Blasts from my Past to schedule, and MeMum to visit. Mayhem has already volunteered to "guard the house" - translated, stay at home and play games all day.

Chaos, however, is glad to come along for adventures, so MeMum gets

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Challenge #01918-E094: Weapons of Mass Pacifism

Sometimes, some people are born with a kind of "blessing". It makes them totally unable to understand the concept of "evil". And it could create people, children most of the time, that are so pure and innocent that even the most ferocious beast or darkest dark lord wouldn't even think about hurting it. -- Anon Guest

There are people and things that are too good to be real. Well-behaved puppies. Ball pits filled with plushies. The really expensive salted caramel ice cream.

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::Deep Breath:: Aaaahhh...

Posted all the Patreon stuff at record lateness. Posted the latest chapter of Babes in the Wood. Also figured out that I used the wrong email to send my imagined items of to those marvellous McElroys, and sent them all off to the correct email with minimal edits.

Loyal Patrons have already received the unedited version at no extra cost. I honestly don't know if concocting diabolical artifacts for a podcast I like counts as fanfiction. And since it's a completed work.

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Challenge #01917-E093: Deploy E.C.O.

"Welcome to the first cross-species special forces. You were selected because you are the best of the best in your domain. Now, you will all learn how to efficiently subdue or kill a foe, how to infiltrate a place heavily guarded and how to secure civilians that were hostages. But most importantly, you'll learn that your most important tool isn't your service weapon or a multi-tool knife. Your most important piece of equipment will be this plushy. Because there will always be

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Bad start

I got up before my alarm. Yay. I posted the latest installment of Babes in the Woods. Yay.

I have also procrastinated for three solid hours. Boo.

On the plus side, I don't have a huge amount of work to do today, IF I don't have to haul Mayhem across country to Banyo. Just fetching him in the afternoon is fine? But going there and back twice just about wrecks me.

I need coffee.

The worst thing about my sleep issues is:

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Challenge #01916-E092: Give Me Your Answer Do

To be a good bouncer, you don't really need to be strong and to like violence. You just need to be intimidating enough that even the drunkest person on the universe wouldn't want to make you angry. -- Anon Guest

Dave didn't need to do much to keep the rowdy ones quiet. All he had do do was flex. It meant that he took up twice his previous volume and made his previously-loose clothing creak ominously at the strain. It was easy

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