InterNutter

Ow! I must be anxious.

True story: I internalise my anxieties for the most part, and when I do, it comes out as me hurting myself.

I went down the aisle towards my Beloved with a giant fucking elastoplast on the bottom of my foot because I stood on a double-adapter [prong side up of course] mere days before the big event.

I have a knack for being distracted enough to walk right into random cars' tow balls.

And today?

I just burned myself for the second time this week.

Frankly, I'd rather have the panic attacks.

And it always turns out that I worried for nothing. Eg: I actually found a hairpiece that can do the work of Bitzer's hair when my own is Summer-short [Like it is now]. Same place has copious amounts of metallic face and body paint. Some for as low as $9 per pot.

That same orange wig is standing in for The Jon's hair, this halloween. I figure nobody in my neighbourhood will geek check me on it anyway. Besides, my fanbot is going to get way more mileage out of it than I would impersonating The Jon.

I've put the hairpiece on display under my hat for the moment, just to show Beloved.

But I have today and tomorrow to craft some weaponry for Chaos so she can wreak havoc as a Lego Warrior [replete with Lego shield, and decapitated Lego head for a helmet]. And I have about everything I need to become Bizarro!Jon.

Photos sometime maybe.

Challenge #01007-B275: Karma Incorporated

It's not like this is the first time I've had to negotiate with someone I've stolen from while duct taped to a chair. -- RecklessPrudence

I completely understand why you're upset. You have lots of nice stuff and I'd like to keep it too. I mean, if it was legitimately mine.

Please, I promise it's okay. I'm only after ill-gotten gains. You know... like those diamonds? In the safe?

Yeah. The safe you caught me cracking. That safe. The diamonds were purchased

::Zombie Noises::

I am guilty of waking my best Beloved after a very long and exhausting day that started at 1AM.

I already had a long and exhausting day, one of the few bright points being that the four hour round trip only took three hours. Yay. BUT I also had a problem.

I was waiting for Chaos' bus to come in from AQ, the school she goes to three days out of the week. The cat, freshly home, had wriggled out of her

Challenge #01006-B274: Love Cancels Out

http://soggywarmpockets.tumblr.com/post/131148066044

Any expansion on this presumably adorable relationship. -- Anon Guest

[AN: That post makes me LOL every time]

It was fairly common to see Barbarians and Bards as couples, but an Evil-aligned Barbarian and a Good-aligned Bard? That caused some talk. Especially when they started.

Both their parties had disowned them. The Evil Overlord whatsisface had essentially excommunicated Borgog, and the Good King somebeardedguy had declared Tuergar Trueheart a traitor to his people.

Tears, of course,

Uuuuuggggh...

Panic stations, full speed ahead.

$600 owing on Chaos' autism school. The only plus side is this is the last payment ever for a $1.3K/Semester tuition fee.

$600 owing to the vet because I panicked and took the cat to the vet and tests for cancer are spelled with multiple dollar signs.

MeMum has promised me some cash, BUT... I can't spend it on the cat. So - food and petrol :P Also, I have to collect it in person.

Challenge #01005-B273: Bird Spotting

The cassowary is basically a smaller emu which was apparently created in response to complaints that emus were too sane and peaceable. -- RecklessPrudence

[AN: You have seen that vine where Emus don't know how to handle a Weasel Ball... right?]

"Let me get this straight. There is a flightless bird native to your planet of origin that is, on average, one point four five Distance Units and Fifty-five Weight units of murderous intent in feathers... and it is the saner counterpart

Three cheers for cheap shops

Everyone in my area is suffering from budgetary problems, these days. And since everyone has less money to throw around, places to get things for cheap are starting to proliferate.

We've had three dollar shops in my favourite shopping zone for quite some time. The maximum we've had is five, during the worst of economic crises to date.

Well, this time, the cheap food places are proliferating. Not only are there two Aldi's within fifteen minutes of home, but there's a discount

Challenge #01004-B272: The Power of Chatter

A truly well-meaning superhero with middling-high durability, but apparently no other power. However, at their darkest moment, when they are at their enemy's mercy, they find they have a subtle, near-impossible to discover, but devastating power.

Any monologue given by someone with evil intent, causes a reality-warping effect that removes their advantage. Whether that be removing the /villain's/ powers, shorting out their Doomsday Device, or simply distracting them for /just/ long enough. The problem now is, they have to reliably get villains

Adventures!

Sundays and Tuesdays are Beloved's days off from April to just after November [long story]. So those are the days that Beloved and I have our little adventures.

For example: Last Tuesday, Beloved took us all on a budget-busting trip to Costco in an effort to save us some money in the long term. Short term? Not so much.

Today, I have actually found a factory outlet place that is not located in the extreme back of Burke or another state or

Challenge #01003-B271: A Real Powderkeg

As the size of an explosion increases, the number of social situations it is incapable of solving approaches zero. - Vaarsuvius -- RecklessPrudence

[AN: "And that would be wrong." :D ]

One would think that the ability to make things explode when you were feeling embarrassed would be a curse. Possibly because people immediately think of blowing up the person making them cringe.

I didn't think of it. You thought of it. What does that say about you?

Being socially awkward is a

Trapped!

(Have a random SPG lorefic that I finally finished yesterday)

Disclaimer: Steam Powered Giraffe is owned by David and Isabella Bennett... and possibly Sam Luke. I claim nothing but my own words below.

AN: Inspired by this post: http://spooky-robot.tumblr.com/post/130837401424/1950

Trapped!

InterNutter

1950.

The Spine had expected to find Rabbit chatting to Ma and Pappy's gravestones. After three wars[1], it was strange to think that Rabbit would not understand what death was. And yet... Rabbit kept

Challenge #01002-B270: Suck it, Scheherazade!

As far as I am aware, Australia is the only country in the world that eats every theoretically edible part of its national coat of arms (well, stars and crosses... bikkie form?) Roo (lean red meat, the animal is less harmful to the environment than cattle or sheep), Emu (tastes like chicken - well, kinda gamey chicken), and Wattle (seeds make a sweet flour), all eaten.

Although I guess for some countries that would be quite difficult, since they're cheating with having

Today's the day!

In just a few moments, I will be putting thought to words for my one thousand and second story. I have beat Scheherazade.

So of firkin course I've woken at 2AM and am in sore need of caffeine.

My sleep cycle needs training wheels. And my coffee needs so much sugar that I'll definitely loose my teeth. Argh.

Fuckit. I'm getting a cuppa.

Challenge #01001-B269: Paradise Made

Life was never meant to be fair, which was why you had to stab it in the back from the shadows, and kick it in the balls to make sure it stayed down. -- RecklessPrudence

Some say that where there's life, there's hope. They're idiots. I say, where there's life, there's a target. It's kill or be killed. Nature, red in tooth and claw, has been fighting intelligent folk since the dawn of intelligence.

We're all a pack of wolves, out for

I'm about to bust a record

The official count for all my Instants is a grand one thousand.

Now what famous anthology of tales is close to that? Oh yes. One thousand and one nights.

I won't crow until I beat that record, so you're safe for today. I've been planning on this for the better part of three years. And by crikey, I am going to celebrate.

Not that I have a lot to toss around as gifts because broke as fuck. All I have is my

Menu

Indie writer seeks audience with an audience. Paying customers welcome. [pronouns: ze/hir] Daily free stories happen because it is an excellent counter to Writers' Block.

Ow! I must be anxious.

::Zombie Noises::

Challenge #01006-B274: Love Cancels Out

Uuuuuggggh...

Challenge #01005-B273: Bird Spotting

Three cheers for cheap shops

Challenge #01004-B272: The Power of Chatter

Adventures!

Challenge #01003-B271: A Real Powderkeg

Trapped!

Trapped!

Challenge #01002-B270: Suck it, Scheherazade!

Today's the day!

Challenge #01001-B269: Paradise Made

I'm about to bust a record