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InterNutter

Indie writer seeks audience with an audience. Paying customers welcome. [pronouns: ze/hir] Daily free stories happen because it is an excellent counter to Writers' Block.

Burpengary East http://www.cmweller.com 12613 posts

Challenge #01000-B268: One Turmultuous Afternoon in an Evil Keep

Hero: Powered by Love? You? You of all people, your most powerful magic, the attack that can devastate an army of battlemages, reduce a warded fortification and everyone in it to dust, and you claim it's powered by LOVE?!

Villain: Yes. Divorce rates go up measurably every time I use it.

(Bonus if it's a twisted form of a spell that would usually be fueled by the user's love, without consuming it) -- RecklessPrudence

"There's no love spell in the world that causes that much chaos and destruction," objected Hero. "Love is a building force. Not destructive."

"Well... I must admit I tweaked it a little. And it works! I use all the love my thralls have to win ultimate victory and you... you... you... Hero... have been draining my batteries!"

"You perverted the course of love magic for your own ends..." Hero was having trouble with this concept.

"Yes, little miss hack-and-slash. Not that you could possibly understand. Intelligence is usually a brawler's dump statistic, isn't it? You doubtless think the entire world is meant to run on only one set of rules." Vil'ain smirked. "Rules are for the weak."

"Unfortunately for you, intelligence was never my dump statistic. And you forget that you've also been draining any and all love that your thralls have... for you." Hero nodded, drawing her sword. And Vil'ain's formerly loyal guardsmen did likewise. All blades pointed towards Vil'ain.

"Er," said Vil'ain. "Let me check my notes?"

(Muse food remaining: 12. Submit a Prompt! Ask a question! Buy my stories! Or comment below!)

So close, and yet...

::Cue Days of Our Lives music::

When we last left our heroes, MeMum was in a quantum state between being able to communicate online and not being able to communicate online... Telstra had taken twenty-four hours and counting to get back on a one-hour call-back... and Mayhem had forgotten all his Home Ec. crap at school.

Your humble Author is still poor. That $30 has to spend five business days in transit between PayPal and my bank accounts for no apparent reason.

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Challenge #00998-B267: What a Nice Zoo. May I Live Here?

http://glitch.news/2015-08-27-ai-robot-that-learns-new-words-in-real-time-tells-human-creators-it-will-keep-them-in-a-people-zoo.html

Particularly the final written quote from the android, just before the embedded video. -- RecklessPrudence

Of all the human and allied colonies, the Consortium of Steam is possibly the strangest. Well... at least until you visit B'Nar. But that's another story for another time.

On the prime colony world of New Kazoo, as well as the satellite colonies, ownership is consensual. The owned have as many rights as the owners and sometimes... it is rather hard to

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Communication misadventure happy fun times

I succeeded in getting MeMum online. Yay. Alas, the avenues of communication are only one way because in order to get a reply to her, she needs a working email.

And those are borked because Telstra is way more than lackluster at the moment.

So... Yes, mum. I did get the four separate messages you sent to me late last night for some bizarre reason. Put your hearing aids in. I just tried to ring you twice and you didn't pick up.

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Challenge #00997-B266: Time to Clean the Tank

http://primarybufferpanel.tumblr.com/post/130327638454/alien-invasion

Thought you might like this one. Don't think it would fit in Amalgam-verse, though. -- RecklessPrudence

[AN: Yeah nah, it wouldn't.]

They called it the Green War. The collective nations of the Earth were fighting over, and in, the world's last forest. So of course, frequent use of napalm was de rigueur.

Elsewhere, pro-lifers were bombing fertility clinics in the mistaken belief that they also performed abortions. There were also roaming gangs of pro-lifers who

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Firkin Telstra...

I swear to the Powers That Be [pick your favourite] that tech support would be so much easier with people who understood what the fuck was going on.

I tried to get help from the alleged pros at Telstra. Several times. Concerning both getting MeMum's new compy online and accessing her Bigpond/email account.

I actually got assistance from Beloved about the former.

And as for the latter...

Cue the Benny Hill music.

Five calls. Two texts. One attempt by MeMum to

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Challenge #00996-B265: Miss Communication

That thing where your words get all tangled up and you can't speak your own language until you stop and spit out the bad sounds, then suddenly you can talk again. -- Anon Guest

[AN: You might appreciate this vid from Red Dwarf. There's also a more polished official version IDK I rather prefer the original...]

Shayde was in the middle of Explaining Physics. Some of the expositions she had were still years ahead of current technology. Right now, she was examining

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Incoming Adventures in Tech Support

It's a long weekend for my little darlings, so Beloved is planning on taking them for an adventure to the ocean, the second-deadliest thing about Australia. The first-deadliest is, of course, Australia itself.

Meanwhile, I'm doing something a little more risky.

Tech support for MeMum.

Her old computer has gone to silicone heaven [I plan on taking it home to see if it's really, most sincerely dead] and she now has spanking new compy that will not get online and probably has

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Challenge #00995-B264: One Stuffy Hour in a Remote Meeting Hall

SPOEn get confronted with this http://xkcd.com/1576/ (a personal failure at panel 6, where I guessed wrong and upset someone was what made me send the prompt that became SPOEn - I didn't articulate myself well in the prompt) -- RecklessPrudence

"Wait," said the noob at the meeting. "I thought this was for analysis of language drift, trying to find the origins. I mean, in so far as anyone can find any origins..."

"What did you think it meant when

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Wild, ravening plotbunny, free to a loving home

There is something desperately wrong with my head. I'm stressed to fuck and have worries out the wazoo, so what does my brain focus on?

Steam-Powered Victorian Romance Fluff.

Seriously.

I am suddenly ob-firkin-sessed with socially-awkward ASD Col. Peter A. Walter 1 repeatedly missing the increasingly unsubtle advances of Iris Tonia... who was hired by Pete1's father in the hopes of at least gaining one descendant.

The whole thing of Pete1 being invited to the Cavalcadium? Pete1's dad thinking: "That place is

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Challenge #00994-B263: Unexpected Divinity

http://internutter.tumblr.com/post/129939811959/a-plot-i-want-to-see -- Anon Guest

[AN: You bastard. And I mean that in the nicest way ;) ]

On the plus side, he had survived the plane crash. On the minus side, nobody else seemed to have done so. Potentially worse news, there were natives here, and they seemed to be worshipping him.

Gavin looked to the passengers on either side of him. Strangers he had nicknamed Mr Complain and Ms Annoying. Mr Complain had thought that the entire

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We're muddling...

We're scraping by. We're pulling our heads in...

And managing to maintain the little treats that keep us sane.

Of course, it's a struggle that would be made easier by some funding by you, dear reader, but we're managing.

I kind of feel like we're dangling over a precipice by my fingernails, but that's probably me.

The big needs are waiting for another pay cycle. The Wants are in stasis. Not coming to fruition for the foreseeable future.

And I'm in a

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Challenge #00993-B262: The Path of Love is Rough...

Opposing the previous prompt, someone tries very hard to get a date with a human and ends up scaring them into hiding in a corner/under something, brandishing a defensive broom handle -- Anon Guest

Of all the romantic gambits in Galactic Society, few have ever been more disastrous than a H'nuf'ruffian's attempt to woo an arachnophobe.

Having overloaded on certain sections of Human media, Cogniscent T't'k't decided that it was a brilliant idea to rappel down on hir own silk until

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Just-- AAAAAAAAAUGH!

I have a lot on my plate at the moment. Lots of stressers on my dressers, as it were. So stand back, I am going to vent.

I already mentioned the injured cat. She has this cut above her eye that's not healing and is going to need expensive stitches. She's otherwise fine, just has this really grody-looking cut above one eye.

Mayhem and Chaos are both practising for the International Procrastination Olympics. Focussing intensely on the Farting Around 500, the Helplessness

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Challenge #00992-B261: It Doesn't Mean What You Think It Means...

Expanding on http://internutter.tumblr.com/post/119713605994/challenge-00850-b119-one-fine-bar-fight-at-a (aggression of one species very similar to flirting for another)

Someone tries their absolute hardest to start a fight with a human, or just scare them off or something (maybe there is a bet going?) And gets unexpectedly dipped. Kiss optional.

Alcohol was one of the more common registered inebriants, so Intoxicant Bars always came with a semi-flammable miasma. One such establishment was The Unlikely Mammal Drink. A bar run by a saurian

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