InterNutter

Challenge #01608-D147: Repent Now...

[Name] sighed and turned back to their paperwork. In the scant few minutes they’d been talking with the other person, the paper seemed to have multiplied. It was breeding. There was a giant paperwork orgy going on right on their desk, and it was all they could do to fill out forms faster than they were produced. -- RecklessPrudence

They say paperwork is hell. They don't have the half of it. Imagine the largest offices in the world. Floor after floor of endless, uniform, windowless cubicles. Floor after floor of grey monotony. Floor after floor of filling out and shuffling paperwork from an inbox into the relevant outbox. And no potty or coffee breaks.

They have no time to look up from their work. They dare not take even a second from one paper to the other. They dare not stretch. There is no time to sigh. Their only hope is to fill in the paperwork before the next page enters their inbox. If they do not, the paper in their inbox doubles.

There is a clever device that takes the page from the bottom of the heap and juts it out to where it can be seized so that the worker can fill it out. It is not that clever, and often jams. Those in the cubicles hit the red button and grab a page from the top. They cannot afford to wait. They cannot afford to stop. They barely have time to suckle from the coffee dribbler or nibble a bite from the treats dispenser. They sit, bare-bottomed, on a hybrid of a toilet and an office chair. There is no rest.

Prompts remaining: 16 Submit a Prompt! Ask a question! Buy my stories!

Achievement Unlocked:

Figuring out how Sections and resettable page numbers work in Pages. All this necessary so that numbers don't turn up on the preface pages of the print version of Kung Fu Zombies. When that's done, I get to do all the jiggery-pokery necessary to make sure my name and the book's name is actually legible on the spine.

And only THEN can I shill the fuck out of this noise and hope that more than one person buys it. [Dear lovely person

Challenge #01607-D146: Hermit Permit Pending

"To be honest, I hadn’t planned on the whole Dark Lord thing. It just sort of happened." -- RecklessPrudence

It's not easy being a hermit. Especially not when random adventurers get lost and mistake your cave for a dragons' lair or the entrance to the goblin caverns or something of the ilk. I had to learn a few spells just to protect what little I have from their greedy hands. It takes days to make a decent bowl. And the rogues

Tropes That Annoy Me: Hypergendered Fat

Think about all the overweight people represented in our media. Now think about all the overweight main characters. What do they have in common?

Well, if they're not Jack Black, who can actually get away with the Overweight Antihero, then they are excruciatingly well-dressed. Neat as the proverbial pin.

The ladies (far rarer than the men) are aggressively cute. The stand-out example is Penelope Garcia from Criminal Minds. She is the girliest of girly girls, despite being in a STEM discipline. Every

Challenge #01606-D145: Miss Handling

"You place too much trust in me, I think."

"Until you can place more trust in yourself you may rely on mine in you." -- RecklessPrudence

Rael got the shock of his life just being invited to someone else's home. Five seconds inside the door, he got one big enough to turn his entire body silver.

Officer Lyr Marken, Subchief of Security for the JOAT sector of the Elemeno, had just handed him her infant daughter. With nothing more than a negligent,

Smol Dramas

Once again, I have to rant about a few things because life is hellishly inconvenient and everything costs too much and I slightly want to scream.

First up - ISBNs.

So I was thinking that once you got an ISBN for one book, you could use the same ISBN for the SAME CONTENT. I couldn't find anything about this on Lulu, but Smashwords insisted on one, so I thought I'd better check with Lulu just to be sure.

And dummins me went

Challenge #01605-D144: Articles of Beauty

Us humans have skin lotions and hair straighteners/curlers - what do other species do to improve the Outer Alien? -- Anon Guest

There are things you can sell anywhere. Popcorn, for example, is the only known deathworlder food that is so inoffensive that it can be sold to Havenworlders. Many more things change uses between species.

"What is this liquid?"

"We call it 'varnish'. It's a clear polymer coat that adds shine to static surfaces."

Prompts remaining: 15 Submit

Tropes That Annoy Me: I Have Brothers

It's usually a feature of the Manic Pixie Dream Girl, but sometimes your Action Gal explains her usually manly feats with "I have brothers". The brothers are almost always older, and numerous, and our female lead has learned to hold her own against them as some form of survival skill.

Sometimes, there are no brothers, the mother is usually out of the picture¹, and the father "didn't know how to raise a girl" so did all the boy stuff with her.

Challenge #01604-D143: They Grow So Fast

How about one where Aliens are stunned at the absurd growth rate/ regenerative properties that humans seem to have. Either for something as small as fingernails or hair needing constant maintenance, to 'how did that child grow a full METER in the ten years I was absent?!' -- Anon Guest

Human Steff had reproduced. Live birthing was trauma enough for most of the crew, but the idea that humans could be small and fragile was overwhelming. These mammals had to be

Tropes That Annoy Me: The Fighting Fucktoy

If you want to know all about the Fighting Fuctoy, you won't find much about it on tvtropes.org at all. Nope. For that, you have to go to sites written by, and run by exclusively female authors.

Or you could absorb this picture:

[Artistry care of Kate Beaton of Hark, A Vagrant! fame. Link leads to her Strong Female Characters series collation]

Any attempt to put this sort of thing up on tvtropes results in, I presume, a phenomenally unbelievable amount

Challenge #01603-D142: Eat Snax

"Fat grubs in butter sauce." this was from a Lizard culture's idea of Snack Food. Humans have popcorn, crisps, peanuts etc. So how about one of those Snack Food van equivalents that caters to various species, and make a good living thereby. -- Knitnan

Eat Snax the sign blared in potentially noxious colours. Underneath, a more staid sign discreetly told the observant that this was a suggestion and not an order. Inside the ludicrously small booth, a popcorn popper was doing its

GDI

I was really hoping for the crises to be done with by today. I wanted to talk about the Fighting Fucktoy trope with y'all.

But no. Life has intervened and I need to bitch about stuff for a bit.

Before you fret, Chaos is fine. Her tooth is still nice and shiny and she's eating okay. Today's threat to the return of normalcy is... Mayhem.

Yes, folks. Disasters come once per little darling in this house, and it's Mayhem's turn to fuck

Challenge #01602-D141: Farewell Letter

[TITLE: Constant vigilance or endless confusion.] One of those sayings that are only too true, put your own spin on this one. -- Knitnan

They say, It's not paranoia if they really are out to get you. They say, pesimists are rarely disappointed. They are frequently right about this sort of thing. They really are out to get me. And I am very rarely disappointed in my expectations. Any day, they will find me. They will do horrible things. It's what they

Signs of a rotten week

The fear/exhaustion feeling is not going away. It's starting to suck major league balls.

I will do just about anything to make it go away. Except break Keto. That crap is not going to happen.

Fortunately, I have a fuckoff-huge coffee hoard and little tricks like sugarless mints to help maintain awareness.

The worst part is trying to go to sleep at night. I can succumb to the exhaustion, but the fear manages to keep me awake for way longer than

Challenge #01601-D140: Unseen Creatures

You washed two, now there's only one sock. Black Hole? Alternate dimension? Sir P'Terry's sock Eater? -- Anon Guest.

Even in the modern day, there are things unknown to magic or science. The hidden creatures that have so far evaded notice by the common and uncommon worlds. They eke out an existence in the forgotten corners. And live where you'd never notice them. One such creature is the line-dangling shoe lark, which exclusively nests in the shoes random people throw over the

Menu

Indie writer seeks audience with an audience. Paying customers welcome. [pronouns: ze/hir] Daily free stories happen because it is an excellent counter to Writers' Block.

Challenge #01608-D147: Repent Now...

Achievement Unlocked:

Challenge #01607-D146: Hermit Permit Pending

Tropes That Annoy Me: Hypergendered Fat

Challenge #01606-D145: Miss Handling

Smol Dramas

Challenge #01605-D144: Articles of Beauty

Tropes That Annoy Me: I Have Brothers

Challenge #01604-D143: They Grow So Fast

Tropes That Annoy Me: The Fighting Fucktoy

Challenge #01603-D142: Eat Snax

GDI

Challenge #01602-D141: Farewell Letter

Signs of a rotten week

Challenge #01601-D140: Unseen Creatures