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A 253-post collection

Challenge #01918-E094: Weapons of Mass Pacifism

Sometimes, some people are born with a kind of "blessing". It makes them totally unable to understand the concept of "evil". And it could create people, children most of the time, that are so pure and innocent that even the most ferocious beast or darkest dark lord wouldn't even think about hurting it. -- Anon Guest

There are people and things that are too good to be real. Well-behaved puppies. Ball pits filled with plushies. The really expensive salted caramel ice cream. The people are less likely to occur. This cruel existence tends to wound them. Break their heart and soul. They happen in fiction way more often: Dudley Do-Right, Wander, and other Unbreakably Good Guys.

But consider, just for a moment, Benny Goodkind. There are two ways to go when one's religious mother has named you Benevolence and Benny chose the path less travelled. To actually live up to his name. To willingly see the good in people, things, and happenstance. And, when deemed irredeemable, to roll with the punches and carry on without malevolence.

He hasn't filed a dime in taxes because he gives his every spare dollar to charity. Including the money that the IRS gives him for over-donating. He has a nice job on a help line, and lives frugally on the wrong side of the tracks. He helps children tie their shoes, and goes through his days unharmed by the naturally hostile or untrusting on the streets. He buys food stores in bulk to save money, and then uses those stores to make up meal boxes for the homeless in his area.

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Challenge #01916-E092: Give Me Your Answer Do

To be a good bouncer, you don't really need to be strong and to like violence. You just need to be intimidating enough that even the drunkest person on the universe wouldn't want to make you angry. -- Anon Guest

Dave didn't need to do much to keep the rowdy ones quiet. All he had do do was flex. It meant that he took up twice his previous volume and made his previously-loose clothing creak ominously at the strain. It was easy

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Challenge #01915-E091: Surprising Nutrition

All fungi are edible. It's just that most are edible only once. -- Anon Guest

[AN: I recognise that Terry Pratchett quote!]

"There's food all around us," said their nature guide. Teaching these wayward kids some wilderness survival skills. "Can you point out what's edible?"

Tilly, the quiet one, said, "Everything. The real question is: what's edible more than once?"

Nature Guide Sam winced. Right. Some of these kids were on the spectrum and took things to literal extremes. Or extreme literalism,

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Challenge #01912-E088: Just a Wee Dram Ye Ken

It's St Patrick's Day, Irish Pub - Feegles. (AKA the Wee Free Men, of Sir Terry's Discworld.) -- Anon Guest

Up the airy mountain,
Down the rushy glen,
We daren’t go a-hunting
For fear of little men;
-- William Allingham, The Fairies

Britain has an Agency for everything. National Health, Child Welfare, Disability Assistance, you name it, they have it. They're also the home headquarters of UNIT and WHO, the United Nations International Taskforce and the Weird Happenings Organisation, respectively. And

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Challenge #01911-E087: Uptick in Downsizing

Recently retired or otherwise unemployed mildly clueless accountant overhears diners at a nearby table discussing a business difficulty and offers advice.

They seek him out periodically for more. Eventually hiring him to handle their books and offer other periodic advice.

He doesn't realize that they are the mob. He also doesn't realize that he is moving quickly up the ranks because the irregularities he finds in the books lead to catching leaks, or people skimming off the top. Or that by pointing

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Challenge #01908-E084: Pearls and Male Chauvinist...

Reading Sir Terry Prachett's works and having it just passed of as 'light reading' at University. -- Anon Guest

She opened the book to read it and relax while she had her lunch and a coffee. Unfortunately, it was also dudebro o'clock, and a man-child had to come and comment on her material.

"You're reading that? I thought you were intelligent..."

Sue put the book by Sir Pterry down and glared at him. She had never met this man before, didn't know

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Challenge #01906-E082: What Trickles Down

Medieval Jesters and modern clowns can do what others can't. Mock the mighty, poke fun at sacred cows, and give people a hug without facing an assault charge. it's called Clown's Privilege and should be treated as a gift. We allow the bizarre to touch us in so many ways -- Anon Guest

Three things to do. (1) Get up there, (2) Tell the unvarnished truth, and (3) Make it so funny that the Grand Dictator doesn't decide to execute you.

No

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Challenge #01905-E081: Who, Me?

Excuses both lame and creative. -- Knitnan

Of all the forces of creativity, imagination, and progenitation available, nothing in the known universe is more powerful and simultaneously more inept than a small child who has been caught out, and is desperately digging to get themselves out of the hole they are already in.

"Uhm," said Kae. Elbow-deep in the cookie jar. There was no denying that her hand was in there, and there could be some debate that she was, indeed, taking

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Challenge #01901-E077: Ordering the New World

The bookkeeper of a new evil organisation to their superior:

I'm sorry but no, a "giant robot of doom with lasers that go pew pew" is not feasible. Because not only it sounds silly, but we lack the funding. And no, I won't allow any medium or high destruction plan as long as you didn't find a way to increase our income. If you want to blow things up, I'll only allow dynamite. And we can't pay more than 5 minions at

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Challenge #01900-E076: Enter the Whupass!

[Person 1]: “How did I survive that?! Do I have some kind of plot armour?”

[Person 2]: “Nah, that’s ridiculous.” (Glances towards hidden camera) -- TheDragonsFlame

Sorrin Tael, master of Ohnono-jitsu, smirked at the camera that only he could see.

Falin tried to see what he was looking at, but the invisible camera moved. "What? Who are doing that to?"

"It's part of the secrets of my mystical art," said Sorrin. "Something you must learn from the mystical monks of Mojave.

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Challenge #01897-E073: Revolution by the Millilitre

They were trying to cause havoc. They found something relatively harmless that caused people to sing. The results were not what they expected. -- Anon Guest

"I got it."

"Don't give it to me."

Sasha ignored her sister. "We use this thing on the town water supply. There's gonna be chaos. And since we have the antidote..."

"We can hold policy for ransom. I like. First up, re force 'em to reinvigorate the public transit system with accomodations for the disabled."

Support

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Challenge #01896-E072: The Big Challenge

Former nightclub bouncer, former riot control expert - Why do I want to teach? Wanted a Real challenge. -- Knitnan

Stopping violence with more violence is easy. It involves very little thought, and a mindset that makes the punishment more brutal than the crime. Stopping violence before it starts is more of a challenge. Especially when you want to avoid looking like a hypocrite.

The kids called him Mr Tough. He could physically lift any kid at Elementary but only if they

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Challenge #01895-E071: Senile Delinquents

How hard could it be? Bus trip for a bunch of old age pensioners, take them round the bargain outlets. Lunch at a Hotel. Then he realised. "OhMyGod!!! they all look like Nanny Ogg." -- KnitNan

[AN: Sir Pterry (GNU) always said that multiple exclamation points were a sign of a decaying mind]

Everyone epitomises little old ladies as the most fragile and in need of protection. Everyone, of course, is sorely mistaken. Think on this: there is a reason why they

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Challenge #01893-E069: Surprising Goddess

From the world of five Gods. A God whose harvest of souls includes those whose last words were. "Ho lads! Hold my ale and watch this!" -- Knitnan

[AN: That description doesn't exactly fit that world... or the Gods]

Where there is a will, there is a way, and where there is a niche, there is a God. There is a Goddess of Fields and Flowers. There is a Goddess of Motherhood and another of Fertility. Sometimes, they pinch-hit for each other.

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Challenge #01890-E066: One Firelit Evening in the Middle of Nowhere

“I am fire! I am death!” *Pokes [Person 2] with a stick -- TheDragonsFlame

"Dave... we get it. You made fire with some sticks and shit. That does not make you king of the mountain or even king of fire. This is a skill that cavemen could do, Dave. Cave. Men."

"None of you assholes could do it," said Dave. At least he'd stopped jabbing his 'fire stick' around while he was jubilantly dancing.

"Still fuckin' hurt, Dave," said Bob, rubbing his

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