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Challenge #01327-C232: Almost Like Home

Vulcans discover Australian wildlife. -- Anon Guest

Out in the Never-Never, it's either deathly dry or flooded to the point of cataclysm. This time, when the Vulcans sent their science team to investigate, it was deadly dry. Though they had a native guide with them, they seemed most at home in this arid and hostile environment.

Some even felt chilly, and wore coats.

"Ey up," said the native guide. "Got a nesting emu up ahead."

'Ey up', they were assured, was Australian for 'stop what you're doing and look out, there's trouble near by' which was a lot to pack into a mere two syllables.

The Vulcans formed a defensive ring and almost put their scanning equipment at bay. Then they followed their guide's lead and hunkered close to the ground. No-one sat, because they understood the need to take off at a sprint.

The guide had her voice lowered to a murmur. "Now. We might be alright if they've hatched? But we could also be okay if he's still brooding. When they've all hatched, or they're close to being hatched? He won't want to leave any of 'em alone."

"Query," murmured T'rang. "It is usually the female bird who broods a nest. Is this not so on this occasion?"

"Yeah, nah," said the guide. The Vulcans had been assured that this was agreeing, and then answering in the typical, convoluted, Australian style. "Your emu or your ostrich? They've got things going the other way. The male broods while the female goes off and finds another bloke? It's to guarantee that some of the next generation actually make it to the next breeding season." Sharon picked up a random stick and started playing with it. "Life can be rough in the Aussie outback."

"Query," said S'hok, the token male. "Is this the Australian tradition of 'bullshitting' and was that one of your memes just now?"

"Nah yeah," giggled the Australian. Which was answering and then agreeing. "No bullshit. That there's a bloke emu. And the thing with the stick was a meme. Hang on. Someone's decided to say 'hello'..." Sharon used her stick to gently lift a scorpion off a Vulcan foot. "You lot are probably immune? But I'd rather not take any chances. This scorpion's venom can kill a buffalo in two minutes flat."

A chorus of scanners activated, and the closest thing to excited Vulcan murmuring commenced. Eyebrows raised all around and one brave lady picked the creature up by its stinger.

"Fascinating. Genera arachnidae... yet its body form is vastly similar to insecta. The armament indicates a need for defensive and offensive combat."

"And it is edible," added another Vulcan.

"Yeah nah, I'm not scarin' up a scorpion casserole for you lot."

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Challenge #01326-C231: Seek Understanding

http://immaplatypus.tumblr.com/post/148474190835/fieldbears-ursulavernon-adamusprime-if

if you didn’t know stuff about humans you would think they get mad at the weirdest stuff

like one human raises their thumb to another human that’s good, humans like that

one human raises their middle finger to another human

humans do NOT LIKE THAT

humans think that is a BAD FINGER

don’t you DARE raise that specific finger at me

any other finger is ok just not that one

--

Anthropology

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Challenge #01325-C230: An Everyday Misadventure

http://mrfebruarius.tumblr.com/post/144148482350/papyrus-deserves-to-be-carried-around-like

Image: Frisk carrying papyrus bridal style, apparently running. Papyrus seems surprised and confused "Papyrus deserves to be carried around like princess that he is." -- Gallifreya

"NYA-HA-HOW-OW-OW!" Papyrus rolled into a sitting position on the field, clutching at his left boot. A floating number indicated that he had taken quite a few points off his total HP.

Frisk instantly stopped playing and ran to their friend. They signed, Do you need help?

"The Great Papyrus

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Challenge #01323-C228: We'll Let You Terraform Mars For Free

Both from this post: http://iopele.tumblr.com/post/148437315937/bioluminosity-jean-bo-peep-artiestroke

1) I really want a science fiction story where aliens come to invade earth and effortlessly wipe out humanity, only to be fought off by the wildlife.

They were expecting military resistance. They weren’t counting on bears.

2) (Description of monstrous animal, weighs 3 tons, runs 30kph, bites 8000 newtons. Just as fast in water. Only some crewmembers who dropped all their gear and ran survived.)

"You later describe the

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Challenge #01322-C227: Jinkies!

http://blazichu.tumblr.com/post/148360791519/callmegallifreya-blazichu-im-gonna-tell-you

Scoobydoo-esque mystery but with real murder. Murderer goes for Lewis as next victim, gets spectral surprise. "Oh look, I'm dead. Are you happy?" -- Gallifreya

[AN: And proper credit should go to Blazichu who came up with the idea]

They said he haunted an abandoned town, and murdered people who came through it thanks to misdirections from their GPS. They said he was a survivalist that could eat whatever he hunted. And since skulls and

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Challenge #01321-C226: Lost and Found

The Ballad of Apollo XIII - sung to the tune of 'The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald', but with a triumphant ending. -- RecklessPrudence

"I can't find Ambassador Shayde."

They should have been terrifying words, but they had lost any such sparkle through repetition. It had got to the point that Sherlock and Officer Marken both used Ambassador Shayde as testing material for new recruits.

So far, only one sharp Ensign had passed the Shayde Test.

This... was not that Ensign.

"You've

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Challenge #01320-C225: The Catalogue of Bad Ideas

The invasion was so simple. We sent our soldiers to their children, and they played with them as if they were toys.

When the time came, the attack began, and soon the world was ours.

https://wilwheaton.tumblr.com/post/148216965069/ - quoting Wil Wheaton -- Anon Guest

They were everywhere. Insanely popular. Every child just had to have one. They were obnoxious, of course. Designed by some insane and scheming mind to appeal to the lowest common denominator.

And they were

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Challenge #01318-C223: Gem Daycare

1) Steven likes to visit Centi. She and the others have sort of adopted him as an honorary crewmember at this point.

2) From http://muppetymels.tumblr.com/post/144837683649 -

Teaching kindergarten is like being an ambassador to beings from another planet and teaching them how to assimilate to our culture.

“No, we do not LICK water fountains. Perhaps that is acceptable on your planet, but here on earth we prefer to DRINK from water fountains.”

“Physics might be a little

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Challenge #01317-C222: For Hate's Sake...

"You idiot! Can't you see this will hurt both of us?"

"Well yes, but it'll hurt you a lot more than it'll hurt me, and I can live with that." -- OohLookShiny

There were things she could never talk about. And one of them was the battle of wits with a godlike being.

They could make their arena look like anything. Be made out of anything. They could cast a glamour so powerful that it overwhelmed her. But there was always that

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Challenge #01316-C221: Random Encounter

Pick your favourite cartoon character, print or media and have them meet/interact with another. -- Knitnan

[AN: You do realise SPG have their own webcomic right? but I'll play this straight this time]

"That wormhole really did a number on me," mumbled Sylvia. "Where the flarf are we?"

"I have no idea," Wander chirped. He had made a campfire and was roasting something on a stick. "But the beach is lovely and there's a cute little town on the other side

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Challenge #01315-C220: Get Lost!

To get really lost you need a GPS without updated maps, or worse with proposed routes entered as functioning. -- Anon Guest

[AN: Did I tell anyone that story? Stay tuned to my tumblr feed today for the full thing]

"Turn left at the fork."

"What?" said Tirla. "This thing is clearly showing a right turn at the fork."

"Turn left at the fork," said the mechanical voice.

"It's still a few hundred SDU's. We can slow down and see which way

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Challenge #01314-C219: The Long Days

These things are sent to try us and they certainly do. -- Anon Guest

All of the longest days start in the wee small hours. Haven't you noticed? They begin with the nightmare. The terrors. The loud neighbour who accidentally or on purpose blasts five seconds of noise into the air. Or the telemarketer who calls without realising the time where you live. Or the obnoxious party relative who drunk-dials you for no real reason, or under the mistaken assumption that your

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Challenge #01313-C218: No, You Got it Wrong

This is a quote from a Robert Heinlein story. "Always have your pants, your shoes, and your gun where you can find them in the dark." -- Anon Guest

[AN: I fixed your typos, Nonny]

The patient came in with a limb injury. Relatively harmless, but perplexing in the entry and exit trajectory. What added further confusion was the fact that they had a side-arm tangled in their toes, and a white-knuckled grip on one of their boots.

There was some evidence

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Challenge #01312-C217: Unsuitable Revival

"What's a Fairy Floss machine? Is it some kind of weapon of mass destruction?

"You probably call it Cotton Candy."

"Nope! Never heard of it."

"Look I'll show you how it works."

10 minutes and 300plus small children later.

"You know, it just might be a weapon of mass destruction." -- Anon Guest

There are phrases of doom. "Hey watch this," coming from a human, is a sure sign that something impressively dangerous is about to happen. Shayde has hundreds of them,

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Challenge #01311-C216: Relative Insanity

"Maybe you should consider it. Who knows, you might even have...” [Person] stopped and whispered conspiratorially, “fun!"

"That's not a word, I'd have heard of it," was their flat reply. They held a straight face just long enough for [Person] to look horrified before they laughed. -- RecklessPrudence

Of all the fearsome forces in the universe, none is more terrifying than these two words issuing forth from a human mouth, "I'm bored."

Rael hadn't even known that he could get shivers up

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