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Challenge #01311-C216: Relative Insanity

"Maybe you should consider it. Who knows, you might even have...” [Person] stopped and whispered conspiratorially, “fun!"

"That's not a word, I'd have heard of it," was their flat reply. They held a straight face just long enough for [Person] to look horrified before they laughed. -- RecklessPrudence

Of all the fearsome forces in the universe, none is more terrifying than these two words issuing forth from a human mouth, "I'm bored."

Rael hadn't even known that he could get shivers up his spine. The involuntary reaction shocked him more than the words from his human companion.

"Please don't blow anything up?" he begged.

Shayde's dark lips split in a wry grin. "Aye? That's yer first thought? When have I ever blown anythin' oop?"

"There's always a first time," said Rael. "I know how you humans like to escalate."

"Yer bein' daft," she dismissed. "Explosions plus space stations equals bad news, an' I'm partial to me share of atmosphere, thanks."

He relaxed only a little. "Congratulations. You are now ten percent more sane than the rest of your species."

"I am from the generation tha' elected Ronald Reagan, ye ken."

"Then you're fifty percent more sane than them. In the interests of the safety and security of all cogniscents in your general aura... what you planning to alleviate this... boredom?"

"Aw, nothin' fancy. Just gettin' a dee an' dee game goin'."

She might as well be offering to teach ancient Pama-Nyungan or Yiwaidjan. His one experience of it was so outlandish that he was certain most cogniscents would not understand it. "You realise that improvisational storytelling based on chance is not a widespread phenomenon, right?" he said.

"Aye, I expect a lot of self-inserts and rip-off OC's. That's normal. But that's no' the point. It's tae have fun. You remember fun, right?"

He folded his arms and found something decorative to look at. "That's not a word. I've never heard of it." He turned back just far enough to catch her briefly bemused expression.

Then a laugh spurted out between her lips. "Oh aye, ye'll have fun. Ye got the time, as I remember. Unsuitable food served as snacks. Random philosophy masqueradin' as a player trying fer time tae think. Loads o' fun. I even have a game room set oop. All th' frills." A conspiratorial grin. "I've been dyin' tae try it out."

"And nothing's going to blow up?"

"Only virtually, I promise."

Rael nodded. "Someone has to educate the rest of your victims about this particular example of human insanity..." he sighed. "Count me in."

On the plus side, she wasn't bored any more. On the minus side, that high-pitched squeaking and eager grin was downright disturbing.

(Muse food remaining: 21. Submit a Prompt! Ask a question! Buy my stories! Or comment below!)

Challenge #01310-C215: The Opposite of Magic

But they just ran into the world’s best spell mangler. She has the protection of a unicorn. She carries what is probably a fully intelligent sword that can do whatever needs doing to bring justice to a situation. And she is the host of a living magical spell that likes to do things to people who try and mess with it. -- RecklessPrudence

There is magic, everyone knows this. People with the ability to wield it range from those who have

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Challenge #01309-C214: I am Immortal, You're Not

Oh my god wonder of wonders an ancient semi-immortal race understands that time is valuable. -- RecklessPrudence

Immortals have some odd habits. One that stands out is spending hundreds of years on perfecting Apple Pie. Right down to breeding the perfect apple, the right kind of bees, and just the right kind of grain.

Currently, Duroc the Everlasting was analysing the maple sap for the correct kind of sweetness.

Heaven help the world when she finally decided to work on the ice

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Challenge #01308-C213: Modern Fable

Don't set yourself on fire to keep others warm. -- RecklessPrudence

Sacrifice is noble. There is no doubt. Those who turn aside their wants for the needs of others are truly glorious. They have honour. They gain kharma points. And some gain respect.

Most, however, are expected to sacrifice more.

The fable is told of those who sacrifice everything. The Giving Tree is just one. There is another... the Perfect Mother.

She gave up her employment so she could give her children

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Challenge #01307-C212: Re-forming Content

Someone who just 'removed' the tyrant, and has put their non-evil child in charge, after confronting them with the fact that the parent they loved was a tyrannical dictator sacrificing their people for their own vainglory: "My condolences on your coronation. You're welcome." -- RecklessPrudence

Queen Kindness the First had loved her father. Her days revolved around the hours that he came to her suites and played with her, or read to her, or listened while she talked and they strolled through

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Challenge #01306-C211: One Wrong Word

"In my defense, I didn't know calling the Prince a 'dummy' would be considered an act of treason." -- OohLookShiny

In a sense, her defense was a compliment. The artisans responsible for the Prince's artificial body had done such work that the simulacrum holding his soul to the mortal realm looked amazingly lifelike.

She hadn't known that he was a human soul residing in a constructed body. And they were so rare, so expensive, that they were a last resort against worse

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Challenge #01305-C210: Where the Weirdoes Go

"I just want to collect arcade tokens, why does that bring out the weirdos?" -- SeaDragon1012

[AN: Once again, I invite all my registered users to opt in for a free plug of their blog/site over here]

"Maybe it's because this entire place is weird? I swear I've seen that same Polybius cabinet in four different places."

"Haha, maybe it's a TARDIS, haha," Carol droned. "It's a games con. Of course someone's going to have a Polybius cabinet. It's like the

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Challenge #01304-C209: Saturday Sloth

https://vine.co/v/i0vVFiH9AI7

Vine of old cartoon from 1940s.

knocking on door

Detective: Who's there?

Door opens

Skeleton, walking through door: A skeleton. -- Gallifreya

Frisk Dreemur (happily adopted) hadn't been thinking of much more than a Saturday in their pyjamas and watching ancient cartoons. Thanks to Mama Toriel, there was plenty for breakfast. And possibly lunch.

Gone were the days when Frisk would eagerly devour a cooked water sausage. With or without a bun. And those days were gone

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Challenge #01303-C208: Legendary Loser

The strongest man in the world attempts to find and swat a mosquito -- Gallifreya

[AN: I saw that GIF set, but I've yet to get my hands on a copy of One Punch Man alas alack]

Of the mighty deeds of Heracles, there is but one that is not re-told by the bards or poets.

Heracles, mighty son of Zeus, stronger than ten strong mortal men... lost just one battle. Mighty were his biceps, thick were his thews, but they were

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Challenge #01302-C207: Free Falling Water

Someone from a desert community or space community - anywhere where water is an extremely finite resource - visits somewhere like England where it falls from the sky on a semipermanent basis. -- Gallifreya

If there was one thing that freshly-minted Sahra Johnston would never get used to, it was the fact that she had her own space yacht. With a crew. And cabins enough for not just her entire family, but the crew's as well. Not that the Galactic crew had

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Challenge #01301-C206: Per Ardua Ad Astra

'Fire in the Sky.' Specifically, the filk song by Dr Jordin Kare, released in '91 but remastered in '04. This song moved Buzz Aldrin to tears on national television when he first heard the remastered version, apparently. There was a competition to make a music video, and this one won. I first found the music video, a few years ago now, and I've never forgotten it. -- RecklessPrudence

"You were there for it, weren't you?"

Shayde looked up from her Kung

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Challenge #01300-C205: Sense Askew.

*air horn sound *

*second air horn sound *

"This isn't deodorant" -- Gallifreya

He looked at the can. It looked like a regular, everyday bodyspray. Yet when he pressed the spray button, an air horn noise came out.

It shouldn't even be able to do that.

Come to think of it, the towel only looked like a towel. It behaved more like tissue paper, falling apart in his hands.

The toothpaste looked and smelled like toothpaste but... it was aoli. At least it

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Challenge #01299-C204: Explosive Food

Popcorn, either as an edible explosive or semi mindless entertainment. KnitNan

The human had hung up a hand-made sign - Explosive food preparation in progress before they produced a device and a package of dry, yellow seeds.

"Your pardon, cogniscent An'dee?" said Plyq'ix. "What is meaning, 'explosive food'?"

Andy had a very simple explanation. "It goes bang."

"Dangerous bang?"

"Surprising bang. Harmless, but surprising."

The machine whirred into life and the grains poured in. For a while, nothing much happened but rattling

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Challenge #01296-C201: Coat of Paper, Coat of Fur

"And she swore she would never eat another strawberry!" -- OohLookShiny

The assembled crowd of children turned to stare, open-mouthed, at the Silent Princess. Her name, insofar as anyone could understand her pantomime, was River. And she was living under a curse.

Beyond that, and her dislike of strawberries, everything was up to anyone's guess.

River shook her head and her hands danced. They danced to say, You have everything wrong, but they danced to people who did not understand the movements.

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Challenge #01295-C200: Pray What You Eat Lets You Live

Fast Food franchises for Aliens. -- Anon Guest

Excerpts from A Traveller's Guide to Galactic Spaceports[Written before the advent of Unsuitable Food]:

If you are the kind of person who does not eat what they cannot identify, then beware. You may starve to death. Once you leave the realm of your familiarity, you will find all manner of things that could be edible if you are brave enough to face it.

That said, beware of attempting to purchase anything living. There

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