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A 4871-post collection

Challenge #01342-C247: The Terra Curse

1) More has been added to the post about "aliens trying to invade and being foiled by wildlife" http://sharpestscalpel.tumblr.com/post/148783332263/professorofeljay-myurbandream-jabberwockypie

2) Quick, think of a couple of characters that got made for one of these prompts and write something about them -- Gallifreya

[AN: This puts the gap count down to 4. Also, callback to this post]

1)

The first Tyrvaki colony to settle picked what they thought was a nice place. It was nice enough for the former human inhabitants, after all. Fresh water. Plenty of hunting opportunities. Fertile and arable land. Everything a settlement could desire.

And a nice population of subjugated natives to use as informants. These humans lived in an elevated structure they had made themselves, following the great plague. Well above the level of the land.

It took a few seasons to figure out why.

After the spring floods, which washed away half the colony and ruined the other half, came what the natives called gayturz in their guttural tongue. Giant lizards that camouflaged as driftwood, and could move like lightning in the abundant water.

Native humans ate them. And wore them. And used their bones and teeth as both decoration and tools.

But that wasn't the worst of it.

The rebuilding Tyrvaki colony was beset by another plague. They had drafted a native occupant with the barbaric native name of Klee-duss to assist with the engineering of new colony buildings on stilts.

Kal'rii ignored the human's advice to get indoors during the fading light. She dismissed it as typical male whining and a childish fear of the dark. Klee-duss also implored for the use of foul-smelling smokes and candles to keep away what Kal'rii imagined were fictitious foul spirits.

She also ignored Klee-duss adding layers to himself and smearing himself with foul potions. Typical ignorant native. They would learn to function under Tyrvaki rule or they would naturally die out.

As the artificial lighting came on, the whine began. Some small insect, no doubt. Annoying, but it could be ignored in favour of the surviving colony. No doubt, these tiny whining insects were the 'foul spirits' that had Klee-duss smacking himself in childish ignorance of the truth.

Kal'rii continued until the end of her shift, and retreated to the keeper-space she shared with Klee-duss, his surviving family, and -sadly- his foul potions against the bad spirits. Kal'rii slept in her breather mask that night.

And woke to devastation.

She was feeling unwell, and parts of her body itched where raised welts stretched her skin. The rest of the colony, especially the workers from the evening, was worse than unwell. Some were unrecognisable because of the proliferation of welts all over their bodies. Many had died. Many were near death.

"Tol' j'all t' get n'daws," slurred Klee-duss. He repeated himself as best he could in broken Tyrvakk. "I warn for inside. Many many."

"You know what caused this plague?" said Kal'rii.

"Yah. Skeeturz." He clapped one out of the air and showed her the smashed remains. Including the tiny smear of Tyrvakk blood still in its guts. "They gots d'zeaz in 'em. Plague blood go in guts."

2)

The second Tyrvaki colony, despite its own woes, sent a combat unit to investigate the sudden lack of communication from the first colony.

What they found in the ruins made for true horror. Proper Tyrvakk architecture was ruined or washed away by Terran flooding. Half-built hybrid architecture and temporary shelters alike were left abandoned to the invasive Kudzu plant.

And a little space away from the skeleton-infested ruins, a slightly larger human settlement contained the slim remains of the first colony.

Their leader, an engineer named Kal'rii, had gone both insane and native. She wore the gayturz skins and the foul potions that the natives of the Terran Naw'linz tribe used to ward off evil spirits. The few Tryvakk survivors had also adopted the natives' ways.

Their minds were clearly gone. They begged hysterically for the troops to join them in the elevated human buildings. Pleaded desperately for them to use the foul potions and gagging smokes. All while her human helper-pet quietly murmured to her in his barbaric, guttural tongue.

The troops, according to their logs, attempted to rebuild the colony buildings in a clear attempt to lure the mind-shattered colonists back to sensible technology and comfort. There were reports -unbelievable reports- of gigantic, flesh-eating lizards that sprang from the water and were gone with a Tyrvakk trooper in instants. And there were other reports of a high-pitched whine that travelled in the night air.

Those were the last reports of Tyrvakk infantry unit 547. Scout drones later investigated to find that every last soldier had perished.

The human assistants for Colony Two were unhelpful. They suggested, in broken Tyrvakk, that perhaps the efforts at colonisation were cursed. But of course the Tyrvaki were from the most advanced and rational of civilisations, and were immune to that superstitious nonsense.

But the Tyrvaki death count still rose...

(Muse food remaining: 18. Submit a Prompt! Ask a question! Buy my stories! Or comment below!)

Challenge #01341-C246: Riders of the Apocollapse

The four Horsepersons of the Apocollapse(Not a typo), ride fourth and get in each other's way. -- Knitnan

[AN: It's officially 'apocollapse' now. It's a word that's long needed to happen]

"And now... we... um..." said Absentmindedness. "Wossname. Thing. It was on the tip of my tongue..."

"Ride?" suggested Mislaying.

"YEEHAW," Distraction gunned hir engine and raced off in the first direction that appealed to hir.

Two of the remaining three started their bikes.

"Shit," said Mislaying. "I lost my keys,

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Challenge #01340-C245: The Coming Apocollapse

Want to see more of your Minor Horsepersons of the Apocollapse (No that isn't a typo). Namely Absentmindedness, Clumsiness, Distraction, and Mislaying ride out. -- Anon Guest.

[AN: Had to flip some letters around to make a word make sense]

"I know I had it, I had it just five seconds ago..." murmured Mislaying

"HEY GUYS," yelled Distraction, "IT'S A BUTTERFLY AND IT'S REALLY COOL!"

"...whoops..." Something important shattered into a million pieces. Clumsiness blushed. "...um... fuck... shit... gotta get another one.

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Challenge #01339-C244: Signed, Sealed, and Ignored

If you write a letter of complaint or ask questions by handwritten letter, the recipient is duty bound to answer. Really good way to keep "The Hired Help" aka Politicians and Bureaucrats on their toes. -- Knitnan

Dear Employee, wrote Carval Seng. Letters that started like this were never a good sign for the recipient.

Seng wrote carefully and distinctly about the lack of maintenance between elections, of how people in hir district would like to see the orange of maintenance uniforms

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Challenge #01338-C243: Inconvenience Job

The dreaded 5 minute job. Almost always guaranteed to blossom into hours of frustration and searching for the 'right' tools. -- Knitnan

Time is money. Literally. Citizens of the Galactic Alliance pay for things in increments of time. And since the humans came along, some money has names.

For unknown reasons, five Minutes is a Zac. Ten Minutes is a Bob, and Thirty Minutes is known as the Five-Minute Job.

Human nicknames will forever confuse other cogniscents.

But not those cogniscents who

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Challenge #01337-C242: Unnecessary Invention

It's not only necessity, it's wire coat hangers, paper clips, and to quote Thomas Edison, "All you need to be an inventor is Imagination and a pile of junk." -- Knitnan

[AN: Edison probably stole that line from Tesla ;) ]

Station residents called it the Labyrinth, if they knew about it at all. Every station that's been around long enough acquires a zone that fades through neglect and into an area where people who don't want to be found are wont to hide.

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Challenge #01336-C241: Humans!

"Failure is always an option" -- OohLookShiny

"Look. It was either try it, or give up and die," said Kel.

"There was still a chance for death to not be an option," argued K'niith.

"Yes. And I took it."

"I meant," sighed K'niith, "that there was a chance that did not involve your insane gravity games."

Kel folded her arms. "It's called 'parkour' and it's a form of art."

"It's suicidal insanity, is what it is, you could have broken every bone

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Challenge #01335-C240: Indomitable

"1... 2... 3..."

Crash

"Now we know it's three seconds deep!" -- OohLookShiny

Humans. The Ch'voth had been essentially using them as cannon fodder for a passage of months before they realised two things:

First - humans were extremely hard to kill.

Second - their primary method of finding answers seemed to be 'throw things at it'.

It didn't matter what the question was. They would throw things at it. The Ch'voth theorised that most of their science evolved in the same

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Challenge #01334-C239: So Unfair

School 'Pain in the Anatomy': "Well, he'll either wind up in Jail or grow up to be an Archbishop." -- Anon Guest

Life is unfair. Anyone trying to tell you different is either trying to sell you something, or is one of the people who actively make life unfair. Such are the lessons drilled into us at school. Not by the teachers, oh no. They're still trying to sell us all the ideal that hard work earns good rewards.

The lesson is

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Challenge #01333-C238: Pick of the Three

"You can have it done well. You can have it done fast. You can have it done cheap."

"Pick any two!" -- Anon Guest

"You dare talk to me like that?"

The artisan didn't look up. "I talk to everyone like that. Fast and well is not cheap. Well and cheap is not fast. Cheap and fast is not well. Is there more that needs explaining?"

"Do you know who I am?"

The artisan spared a moment to look up. She regarded

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Challenge #01332-C237: People in Glass Houses Shouldn't

Garnet vs. the PTA -- Gallifreya

[AN: Cue Harper Valley PTA :D]

Steven's first semester at school had not gone great. He was failing advanced math, and flunked right out of sharing that class with Connie at all. And on the night before the PTA meeting, Steven came home with a note.

It was not a criticism of Steven, nor of his scholastic performance. It was a criticism of the Gems and their 'unconventional' lifestyle being a reason why they should not

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Challenge #01331-C236: Epic Levels of Bullshit

I knew about this story, but I had never heard the reasoning behind having the 'roos in the simulation to begin with. Makes a lot more sense, now. -- RecklessPrudence

[AN: The real funny part was that this story was used as an example of checking your GD code before release. I heard it in one of my BInfTech lectures. Australia just seems to be a nexus of firkin weird stories. See: The Emu War (spoilers, the Emus won)]

"...and then the

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Challenge #01330-C235: Grass No Greener

Supervillian grad student, just trying to get by: (Details) -- RecklessPrudence

[AN: This tale harkens back to story 1 in this thing ]

I tried to tell her it wouldn't work. Convincing a superhero Aunty to finance a neophyte supervillain requires more points in debate than dear little Wondergal ever possessed.

Just like every other rich person, Aunty Wonderbabe thought that all the poor people had to do to get ahead was work harder.

"Fine," said Wondergal. "Then I demand to have my

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Challenge #01329-C234: Not-Bear

I'm not saying it's bears, but it's bears. (Details) -- RecklessPrudence

"And in other news, Australian zoologists have managed to capture the fabled Yowie. Down by the little outback town of Canyapassabeermate[1], a local dingo trapper found more than he bargained for in one of his cage traps."

They cut to the live feed where the only person wearing corks on their hat was the American newscaster.

"G'day from down under," she cheered, blatantly ignoring the winces of contact embarrassment from

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Challenge #01328-C233: Pax Multilingual

Ghosts and the word 'boo'. Details here. -- RecklessPrudence

"What the hell did you say to that demon, Demon?"

"Shayde," said the demon. "And she was'nae a demon, she was Seeliegh. A Fae."

"You speak gibberish, demon," said Sir Ethil. "More so than usual. Everyone knows that fairies are small and have butterfly wings. That monster looked more like an insect trying to appear human."

Behind Sir Ethil, Tragyk the Mage snorted. He had a lot of trouble with pollen, every time

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