Just Add Prompt

A 4905-post collection

Challenge #01378-C283: Heavenly Host

http://callmegallifreya.tumblr.com/post/151095300715/deliverusfromsburb-gods-falling-in-love-with The god that adopts a ton of kids

1) In the beginning. Stupid mistakes, awkward moments, working out what to do and what to tell the kid

2) Later. There's a horde of them, some of them have grown up and left but there's always more that need help. -- Anon Guest

[AN: this puts the gap count down to TWO]

1)

Hestatus, God of home and hearth, used to be a minor god. And like all minor gods, was really invested in answering prayers.

"Please let there be enough food for tonight?"

Hestatus manifested a feast on their household table, and thought that it was good.

But the same voice prayed the next night, "Please don't let Mama hurt me again?"

Hestatus put a little more effort into it, and made the supplicant child's skin like iron for the evening.

And again, the same voice. "Please don't make Mama lock me outside in the cold?"

Hestatus did a rare thing for a god. He actually sat still and thought. As tempting as it was to smite this child's mother, there had to be a better way. The quick and easy solutions were not working.

He manifested as a humble mendicant and conversed with his little worshipper. "Hestatus has been favouring you, I see. There is the glow of his blessing about you, child. What has happened?"

The child was fearful and small and softly-spoken. "...i asked for food and there was a whole table full, but mama said i stoled it and she beat me... asked not to get hurt and mama couldn't, so she shut me out." Tears fell down the waif's cheeks. "...i prayed not to be shut out in the cold... what'll mama do now?"

"Your mama won't hurt you again," assured Hestatus. He allowed his true nature to shine. "You are under my protection."

Songs are sung to this day of how Hestatus protected his first saint from a mother who should never have been a mother. How he touched the woman's brow so lightly, and struck her down. And when she rose again, she never had a harmful thought.

They do not sing about the rift that caused. Without her savagery, a great deal of herself was lost. Though she was kind, she would stand still and stare during the times when anger should have emerged. And they never mention how she died, relatively young, from standing out in the snow and staring. Simply staring, until the snow stopped her blood from flowing.

Hestatus was and is a god, and knew very little of mortal ways. He knew humans needed food, but wasn't certain what kind was good. 'Healthy' was not a word he was familiar with.

Hestatus was aware that his child needed safety, but wasn't quite aware of how much was too much.

It took other mortals, better mothers and fathers, to teach him the better ways of caring.

And possibly the most dangerous thing was when Hestatus learned that there were other children. Children who didn't have a home. Who never warmed themselves by a hearth. And he was a god who could be anywhere...

2)

The temples of Hestatus look like hostels, and that is for a very good reason. Hestatus is the god of home and hearth, and the protector of children who have neither.

Therefore its efficient just to add rooms to the temple. With bunk-beds.

The temples of Hestatus don't take burned offerings. They prefer living sacrifices of extra roosters or male lambs. They love you if you bring a nanny goat, because there are always unwanted babies. The living that can be meat for the temple fleshpots are cooked to perfection, and given freely to those who hunger.

The nanny goats are always milked until they have no more milk. These are temples almost overflowing with hungry mouths.

And Hestatus himself is a god that can understand what a supplicant means. Hungry worshippers are fed within their means, and the miracles are small. Those who seek guidance are shown ways in which their existing talents can help many others. Those who are lost are shown, co-incidentally, the way to the nearest temple of Hestatus, where another pair of hands is always welcome.

The temples have libraries, and mortal tutors who teach all who come any useful thing that can be used. Some who grow in that rich soil become great thinkers, or great builders, or great doctors. But most, the true followers of Hestatus, become great helpers.

Sometimes, you might even find Hestatus in one of his own temples. He is always busy, and has flour on his apron and a towel over one shoulder. And if he has sleeves, they are short or rolled up. He could look like any other mortal, but there's always something... more.

He is never tired. Gods don't need to sleep. He is never hungry. Gods don't need to eat. And he is always warm and welcoming, because what a god needs most... is to be loved.

(Muse food remaining: 17. Submit a Prompt! Ask a question! Buy my stories! Or comment below!)

Challenge #01377-C282: Soul Mate Counselling

http://jupiterjames.tumblr.com/post/148863222746/

I love reading fics about OTPs having mental bonds and things like that, but they’re always so profound. It’d be so much more entertaining if they still thought like normal people. Imagine this stuff:

“You’ve had that song stuck in your head for days. It’s driving me nuts, too.”

“Why are you making a grocery list in your head while we’re having sex?”

“Is that really what you think about my

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Challenge #01376-C281: Everything? Everything!

"I'm gonna eat everything!"

"Please don't, we'll be kicked out."

"Everything." -- OohLookShiny

There is just one reaction that newcomers have when entering an Unsuitable Food restaurant. Many newcomers have come from planets founded by people with ideals. Or from planets where entire species failed to flourish. And one human settlement survived with stone-age technology, an extremely limited diet, and ritualistic cannibalism, before the Alliance found them.

Faced with the abundance of all the foods of all the Alliance in every possible,

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Challenge #01375-C280: Needing Hands

Breathing bodies is a term for people, not necessarily qualified who can be used for tasks that free up more qualified people(@) - third hands? Well humans have only two, but some people are quite good at being a third hand when needed.(*)

(@) example "here, put your hand on this and yell if it gets hot."

(*) "Hold this steady while I tighten the coupling up." And there are times when they are invaluable. -- Knitnan

[AN: Footnotes in prompts are NOT a

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Challenge #01374-C279: Three Things They Did Wrong and One Thing They Did Right

http://khaleesijade.tumblr.com/post/150856878533/agentquinn-sepulchritude-my-fav-trope-is -- Anon Guest

Understanding humans is a difficult business. Gallusians, one of the earliest Galactic species to hire their services, know this better than most.

Kru'ku, designated companion/guide of the exploration vessel Tikavi, wrote what many consider to be the first guide centred around the proper care and handling of humans. Their work encapsulates years of research, anecdotal evidence, assumptions, and quite a large amount of wild guesses.

For a seminal work, it is

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Challenge #01372-C277: It's a Human Thing

1) Aliens being extremely confused when humans that spend any length of time in the area with the nice fashionable wallpaper become nauseous and when questioned try to explain that the patterns are moving

2) True Facts(TM) about Ghosts -- Anon Guest

[AN: This puts the gap count down to three!]

1)

The Klypt'l had done their best to be accommodating. They had refurbished any and all human artefacts into useful furniture -even comfortable furniture- for the use of their Deathworlder

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Challenge #01371-C276: One Small Difference

Dragon: Tries to kidnap a princess

Dragon: Accidentally saves a Prince from a tower

Dragon: Isn't sure what happened -- OohLookShiny

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a young Dragon in possession of a good lair, must be in want of a Princess. So it was for Ginrauth, who had not only terrorised the local Dwarfs into submitting 'donations' to his hoard, but had also found an abundance of shiny gemstones within the cavern he dug. He knew all there was

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Challenge #01370-C275: Homicidally Annoying

"Are you eating cereal? It's 8pm."

"Specific mealtimes are social constructs that have no real impact on our lives."

"Is that my cereal?"

"O-ownership is a social construct that..." -- OohLookShiny

There are drawbacks to rooming with a pseudo-intellectual. First was having to know the thesaurus just to have a conversation with them. The second was not murdering them for their constant over-corrections.

And the third...

Madrass(not his real name. He claimed it was 'more spiritual') had taken over the couch.

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Challenge #01369-C274: The Strongest of All

Based on one post in yesterday's prompt, Humans in a fantasy realm as Team Fuck It Hold My Beer I Got This. Details here. -- RecklessPrudence

Elves can see as far as an eagle, and shoot the eyes out of a fly, if it suited their fancy. Humans invented telescopes, and microscopes, and crossbows, and cannons. And the Elves thought themselves lucky that the humans turned all that deadly enginuity towards each other, and not towards other species.

Dwarves are as tough

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Challenge #01368-C273: Insane Genius

While I love Humans as Space Orcs, can we get some exploration of this theory, that humanity's 'hat' in the galaxy full of Planet of Hats that is Star Trek is that we're Doc Brown? Please note the reason Scotty's Chief Engineer of the Enterprise, as well as the Vulcan Science Academy's interactions. (Also this might explain why the multispecies Federation ships in TOS-era seem to be crewed in an almost entirely monospecies manner, what with that all-Vulcan ship in one episode,

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Challenge #01367-C272: Health and Safety

Velociraptor Incident Safety Placard. Either the scenario posited, or something else of your devising (also consider that one pedant who points out they forgot to account for leap years. Me. I'm the pedant.). -- RecklessPrudence

There were jokes that were made to be regretted. Anything with the N-word in the middle of it is a good example. But this one...

It was designed like every other safety poster in the labs. Except this one was about being a velociraptor-free workplace. And it

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Challenge #01366-C271: Mahal's Warrior

Dwarves and Gender Politics. Details here. -- RecklessPrudence

En had rather hoped to be over with this adventure by now. Certainly, the Grand City of Ghil had a need, but En was on his own timetable. Adventuring during the first trimester was generally dismissed as plausible but dangerous. And En hadn't even known he was pregnant when the Admaster of Ghil had sent him and his party on this quest.

Transgender adventuring came with a unique set of risks. And since this

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Challenge #01365-C270: Simple Message, Complex Bottle

They told us to tell you hello. Details here. Bring a box of tissues. -- RecklessPrudence

It was a constructed thing. Shr'dlu could see that much, even with a fine coating of space dust and a scattering of micrometeor damage. And it had come the long way to this particular patch of debris, floating in the eternal night.

The fact that it was large enough to be a survival pod had made Shr'dlu take it in for examination in the first place.

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Challenge #01364-C269: Here There Be Werewolves

Tidally-locked Lycanthropy Planet. Details here. -- RecklessPrudence

Rough seas, of course. Rounding the Cape to the trade winds inevitably involved rough seas. It took a good captain to deal with just that. But of course, things had to be trickier. Sailing the Cape had to be done in full daylight or not at all, because the Moon shone her full face on the southern hemisphere. Which left those dangerous lands populated entirely by werewolves.

And even with all these precautions, there was

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Challenge #01363-C268: Household? Prison?

A kitten discovers her new family expects her to sleep in the laundry at night. -- Anon Guest

Fun day! New smells. New foods. Lots of play. Lots of pets.

Then the humans, the feedme's, did something strange. The smaller ones went away first, then the big ones took her into a bare, cold room, put her down, and left. And they shut the door. And they had turned out the light.

There were crunchy-noms. And good water. And a soft thing.

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