Instant Story

Flash fiction fresh from my fingers to your mind!

Challenge #01283-C188: Steep Learning Curve

Names of recordings of training scenarios.

"Ode to places a cutting torch should never go"

"Three drones, one airlock and no sense"

And the cautionary tale about plasma torches, hypergolic fuel and explosive decompression simply entitled: "Don't" -- RecklessPrudence

Human training videos were baffling. They seemed designed to entertain, but also contained the full, gruesome consequences in order to horrify their audience into learning the lesson.

Newbies, it seemed, were suicidally incompetent. Sometimes, they were also homicidally so. And chief amongst their flaws was acting as if they were still planet-side. Or in some other environment where the doors did not need to be double-checked before proceeding.

They called their basic training ochre, even though the initials were OECR. They stood for; Observe, Evaluate, Consider, React. And, according to the assembled fids, humans had a very hard time doing those things in order.

Humans instinctively threw water on fire. Some even threw water on smoking things. Frequently, these instincts had disastrous results.

Humans acted as if air was infinite. Casually using tools that gobbled up air and acting surprised when the supply failed.

Humans acted as if water was infinite. Carelessly tossing good water into waste systems without considering the consequences for the purification biota.

Things considered minor sins in a planetary setting had immense consequences for a confined environment in space. And this had to be drilled into their heads.

Fortunately for most non-human cogniscents, the type of people who stole other people's food were prevented from travelling far from their place of origin. Natural selection usually weeded out those who were persistent in that bad habit. And for those who continued their disregard for others' property... well... a year or two in agrarian therapy generally cured them of their inclination to scavenge.

But the most frightening thing about human training videos, above all things, was the population of humans who laughed at them.

(Muse food remaining: 17. Submit a Prompt! Ask a question! Buy my stories! Or comment below!)

Challenge #01282-C187: Boredom Unbecoming

Something for the SPOEns: "Words are perhaps the most vulgar of all of humanity’s inventions, in that there is no benefit in keeping them sacred and locked away. Their true magic only takes place when they are read and spoken by many." -- RecklessPrudence

Rael looked at the quote on the graffiti wall. Then he looked at the larger tangle of artistic font that sprawled across the greater effort. Once decoded, it read, Evolve or die!. And worse, Shayde had written

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Challenge #01281-C186: Monarch of the Stage

[Person #1], along with the dry wit and perfect sarcasm and near-unflappable calm, is a secret drama queen. Like, [Person #2]'s a Drama Queen, but [Person #1]'s at least the drama princess of a small kingdom in disguise. -- RecklessPrudence

Kel had been attempting to unriddle Lord Auditor Vorkosigan for some time. An effort not even slightly assisted by the fact that he was training new staff. Far from home. In the middle of an emergency.

And, unfortunately for all

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Challenge #01280-C185: One Smoke-filled Afternoon in a Very Special School

Almost causing the apocalypse is an important part of growing up.

(Everyone should do it at least once) -- RecklessPrudence

Smoke was all that remained of the conflagration, and holes in the masonry were the only hint left that a giant robot had found a new means of egress.

"What have we learned, today?" said Mrs Calgary.

Three small children toed the ground as they swung back and forth in their place. "Don' touch th' red button," they chorused.

"Especially when...?" prompted

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Challenge #01279-C184: Ambassador Murder-bot

Okay, so I still don't have a new computer after my last one decided to up and die, but I do have a loaner, and my hard drives in external caddies, so I can start prompting again.

[Person #1]: You just had to piss off the giant murderbot, didn't you?

[Person #2, aka 'Giant Murderbot']: "HEY! I've tried very hard NOT to kill anyone, thank-you!" -- RecklessPrudence

[AN: Great to have you back!]

The Doctor believed in giving people second chances. And

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Challenge #01278-C183: Kintsugi Ronin

The art of repairing pottery with gold or silver lacquer, understanding that the piece is more beautiful for having been broken. This can also apply to People. -- Knitnan

The ships' human was, in their own words, winding down. They had extracted themself from their armoured shell, removed the thermal suit that helped regulate their temperature, and otherwise stripped down to their Skins.

Most Gigaru kept away from the human at this point. Downtime was important to these mammals. And yet Kithkith

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Challenge #01277-C182: One Survivor

How much Buffy Speak can you get in one story? -- Gallifreya

Kay so like, me and the scooby gang were in napville over our one-starbucks town. It should'a been like a major stress drain to take the van and head for otherwhere, you know?

We didn't plan. Just cram the van with munchies and drinkables and pick a street and split down 'till we got somewhere dollsome or otherwise chill, y'know? Have an adventure.

Wish that genie would book.

Not that

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Challenge #01275-C180: Skeleton Shenanigans

1) Captain Tim's best day ever

2) Pick a skeleton character and dump them in the universe of another skeleton character -- Gallifreya

[AN: this should take the gap count down to 9]

1)

Something was different, this morning. Usually, Captain Tim awoke to the sound of the snooze button being pressed and found the room empty. But this time the hated Zbornak was there. So of course he pounced. And bit. And shredded. It had to be sheer luck that she

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Challenge #01274-C179: Stay for the Night

http://sinnamon-skull.tumblr.com/post/146342604376/tharook-thefingerfuckingfemalefury

Mundane not-goth modern vampire and her gf -- Gallifreya

Local vampire seeks roommate. Must be clean, non smoker, and be able to pay half the rent. No weirdoes.

Claire read the personal again and blinked to make certain that she hadn't read it wrong. Must be one of the weirder goths who drank blood or did the whole 'children of the night' routine. Claire didn't mind goths. It was almost obligatory because she was one.

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Challenge #01273-C178: The Coffee Oath

"It is caffeine alone..." You know the rest of this quote. Have fun. -- KnitNan

Theobromine was dangerous for most species, but humans took it in several different preparations. This was the waking preparation, as the ship's human went about their post-somnolence ritual.

Humans could push themselves to operate for an entire standard day, if they needed to. Their human had just done so, and proceeded to sleep for an astonishing twelve hours. Now they emerged, still in their sleeping clothes, to

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Challenge #01272-C177: Pep Talk

http://khaleesijade.tumblr.com/post/146197661813/peep-toe-shoes-katyakora

Villains visiting their fans, or visiting hospitals for non-nefarious reasons -- Gallifreya

[AN: I skipped the BuffySpeak one for now because I really need two screens for that nonse]

Lori was writing a new cipher. It was something to do while she was guarding the door. She had made so many that it was a time-killing occupation. Something she could do while absently watching the halls for heroes that had not got the memo.

She

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Challenge #01271-C176: Freedom Comes From Within

Today's challenge is to write in E-Prime - no use of "to be" or any conjugations or variations thereof in any language. -- Gallifreya

Shopping for Himself had become a challenge. He had a new diet for all the change he wanted to happen in his body. His lovely body. Carla could barely remember the time long gone when she loved the sight of it.

Her second trip to the shops contained the buying. The first had to contain the pricing. Exact

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Challenge #01270-C175: Magnificent Man Returns

The glory days when superhero du jour would nick into the nearest phone booth. It's all cell/mobiles today and most of them are smart phones. -- Knitnan

[AN: It was mostly Superman who did that, and now they just bullshit it away with changing so fast that nobody notices anything]

Nobody had seen Magnificent Man since the early eighties, when the Time Tripper had tricked him into consuming one of his Magic Mushroom Pies. Magnificent Man had vanished without a trace.

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Challenge #01269-C174: One Heart-Pounding Speech Somewhere in the Southern States

**If you do have to put up with someone waffling on try knitting where they can see you. The "Click" drives them nuts. Pick a person who deserves this, have fun. -- Anon Guest

[AN - any resemblance between the characters in today's story and real political people are purely co-incidental. Stop looking at me like that]

Don Alkrump loved to play to the front row. Veterans and patriots, all of them. They knew what this country needed and it was him

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Challenge #01268-C173: Don't Make Her Angry

Sara Louise Adrian gate-crashes group of wanna-be Queen Bees. Chaos ensues. Sara can be any age.-- KnitNan

Dangerous things happened when Sara got bored. At the moment, according to her mother, she was 'between schools' and 'trying to find her place in life'.

She could hear them from the top of the stairs. All that ego and no real audience. The younger voices thought that they were the absolute best that humanity had to offer. And her mother was agreeing with

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