Instant Story

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Challenge #01318-C223: Gem Daycare

1) Steven likes to visit Centi. She and the others have sort of adopted him as an honorary crewmember at this point.

2) From http://muppetymels.tumblr.com/post/144837683649 -

Teaching kindergarten is like being an ambassador to beings from another planet and teaching them how to assimilate to our culture.

“No, we do not LICK water fountains. Perhaps that is acceptable on your planet, but here on earth we prefer to DRINK from water fountains.”

“Physics might be a little different on your planet, but here when you throw things they typically fall and break.”

“Grabbing people and shaking them violently is not considered a proper greeting on this planet.” -- Anon Guest

1)

There wasn't much he could do for the Centipeedles. He'd come to accept that. His healing saliva didn't quite get them back to sanity, and the effects were both short-lived and on the shady side of torturous.

But he could keep them company and bring them a few things.

So, every Sunday evening, he loaded up his Wacky Sack with snacks, drinks and cheap comics. Then he warped over to the crashed Gem ship, and visited his monstrous friends.

He always made sure to be singing the Chaaaaaaaaps jingle as he opened the door. The Centipeedles were easily frightened and had a tendency to spit acid at anyone or anything that scared them.

What he thought of as the ready room was changing, over the weeks. The Centipeedles had figured out ways to plaster bits of paper and wrappings onto their walls and they were... well... it was a sort of art. Some of it was messages, but they were making a story across one of the walls as well.

Steven had learned quickly to warn them when he was taking a picture. The light of his flash alarmed them, and sent them screaming and spitting into their safe corners.

And once everyone had settled down with their chips and juice boxes, they would let him tend their hair. Who knew that Centipeedles liked getting their hair combed?

2)

There were two surprising things about Amber. One was that her gem took over the place of hair and dominated most of her head. The second was that she was bigger than Garnet and had the attitude of a nervous toddler. Minus the parts where she might be prone to wetting herself, of course.

"And this is where my Dad stays. He's got more than enough money to buy a house, but he likes the van."

"Van," repeated Amber. Then she made a rumbling noise with her lips. "...brbrbrbrbrbrbrbrbrbrbr..."

"That's right! Just like a car. Vroom, vroom." Steven knocked on the side of the van. "Hey dad! Wake up."

"Over here, Stoo-ball. It's been a good-- Whoah! Where'd she come from?"

Amber blinked owlishly at Dad. Then she said, "Steven got me out of a tree. I wasn't this big, before, though." She landed in a sitting position on the parking lot tarmac and pointed at him. "Dad?"

"No. He's my dad. You can call him Greg. Or Mister Universe." Steven grinned. "She -um- hasn't had much in the way of socialisation."

"I was in a tree for five thousand years," said Amber. "The bad gems didn't like me. So they threw me out."

"She's... kind of like a little kid," said Steven.

"Oh boy," said Dad. He immediately panicked and said, "No! No... We don't put seagulls in our mouths. It's unsanitary."

How she managed to grab a seagull was a mystery for another day. "Pretty bird," said Amber. "Nice for tree."

"Yes. Very good. Now you can let it go so it can be nice for other trees." Steven smiled desperately as he mimed opening a grasping hand for Amber. "I'm not ready for this. The Gems don't know how to handle her and... well..."

"Bye bye pretty bird!"

Dad could guess where this was going. "You want me to try?" His face went pale. "What about the other two in the barn?"

"Da-a-ad... Lapis and Peridot can barely look after each other. Can you imagine them with Amber?"

Now all of him went pale and all of his remaining hair stood on end. "Yikes. Yes I can. But... I gotta be honest, I'm not as fast as I used to be. I might need a lot more help with this..." He gestured at Amber, who had half of a tyre in her mouth. "...big little problem."

Steven sighed. "And the Maheshwarans are moving out in a couple of weeks. And Amber kind'a scared Connie's parents... Get that outta your mouth, Amber. It's not good."

"Chewy," said Amber.

"Maybe," sighed Greg, "I can teach you all how to deal with her. Part time."

"Dad," Amber drawled, and snatched him up in a hug, petting his hair.

At least she knew how to be gentle.

(Muse food remaining: 24. Submit a Prompt! Ask a question! Buy my stories! Or comment below!)

Challenge #01317-C222: For Hate's Sake...

"You idiot! Can't you see this will hurt both of us?"

"Well yes, but it'll hurt you a lot more than it'll hurt me, and I can live with that." -- OohLookShiny

There were things she could never talk about. And one of them was the battle of wits with a godlike being.

They could make their arena look like anything. Be made out of anything. They could cast a glamour so powerful that it overwhelmed her. But there was always that

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Challenge #01316-C221: Random Encounter

Pick your favourite cartoon character, print or media and have them meet/interact with another. -- Knitnan

[AN: You do realise SPG have their own webcomic right? but I'll play this straight this time]

"That wormhole really did a number on me," mumbled Sylvia. "Where the flarf are we?"

"I have no idea," Wander chirped. He had made a campfire and was roasting something on a stick. "But the beach is lovely and there's a cute little town on the other side

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Challenge #01315-C220: Get Lost!

To get really lost you need a GPS without updated maps, or worse with proposed routes entered as functioning. -- Anon Guest

[AN: Did I tell anyone that story? Stay tuned to my tumblr feed today for the full thing]

"Turn left at the fork."

"What?" said Tirla. "This thing is clearly showing a right turn at the fork."

"Turn left at the fork," said the mechanical voice.

"It's still a few hundred SDU's. We can slow down and see which way

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Challenge #01314-C219: The Long Days

These things are sent to try us and they certainly do. -- Anon Guest

All of the longest days start in the wee small hours. Haven't you noticed? They begin with the nightmare. The terrors. The loud neighbour who accidentally or on purpose blasts five seconds of noise into the air. Or the telemarketer who calls without realising the time where you live. Or the obnoxious party relative who drunk-dials you for no real reason, or under the mistaken assumption that your

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Challenge #01313-C218: No, You Got it Wrong

This is a quote from a Robert Heinlein story. "Always have your pants, your shoes, and your gun where you can find them in the dark." -- Anon Guest

[AN: I fixed your typos, Nonny]

The patient came in with a limb injury. Relatively harmless, but perplexing in the entry and exit trajectory. What added further confusion was the fact that they had a side-arm tangled in their toes, and a white-knuckled grip on one of their boots.

There was some evidence

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Challenge #01312-C217: Unsuitable Revival

"What's a Fairy Floss machine? Is it some kind of weapon of mass destruction?

"You probably call it Cotton Candy."

"Nope! Never heard of it."

"Look I'll show you how it works."

10 minutes and 300plus small children later.

"You know, it just might be a weapon of mass destruction." -- Anon Guest

There are phrases of doom. "Hey watch this," coming from a human, is a sure sign that something impressively dangerous is about to happen. Shayde has hundreds of them,

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Challenge #01311-C216: Relative Insanity

"Maybe you should consider it. Who knows, you might even have...” [Person] stopped and whispered conspiratorially, “fun!"

"That's not a word, I'd have heard of it," was their flat reply. They held a straight face just long enough for [Person] to look horrified before they laughed. -- RecklessPrudence

Of all the fearsome forces in the universe, none is more terrifying than these two words issuing forth from a human mouth, "I'm bored."

Rael hadn't even known that he could get shivers up

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Challenge #01310-C215: The Opposite of Magic

But they just ran into the world’s best spell mangler. She has the protection of a unicorn. She carries what is probably a fully intelligent sword that can do whatever needs doing to bring justice to a situation. And she is the host of a living magical spell that likes to do things to people who try and mess with it. -- RecklessPrudence

There is magic, everyone knows this. People with the ability to wield it range from those who have

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Challenge #01309-C214: I am Immortal, You're Not

Oh my god wonder of wonders an ancient semi-immortal race understands that time is valuable. -- RecklessPrudence

Immortals have some odd habits. One that stands out is spending hundreds of years on perfecting Apple Pie. Right down to breeding the perfect apple, the right kind of bees, and just the right kind of grain.

Currently, Duroc the Everlasting was analysing the maple sap for the correct kind of sweetness.

Heaven help the world when she finally decided to work on the ice

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Challenge #01308-C213: Modern Fable

Don't set yourself on fire to keep others warm. -- RecklessPrudence

Sacrifice is noble. There is no doubt. Those who turn aside their wants for the needs of others are truly glorious. They have honour. They gain kharma points. And some gain respect.

Most, however, are expected to sacrifice more.

The fable is told of those who sacrifice everything. The Giving Tree is just one. There is another... the Perfect Mother.

She gave up her employment so she could give her children

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Challenge #01307-C212: Re-forming Content

Someone who just 'removed' the tyrant, and has put their non-evil child in charge, after confronting them with the fact that the parent they loved was a tyrannical dictator sacrificing their people for their own vainglory: "My condolences on your coronation. You're welcome." -- RecklessPrudence

Queen Kindness the First had loved her father. Her days revolved around the hours that he came to her suites and played with her, or read to her, or listened while she talked and they strolled through

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Challenge #01306-C211: One Wrong Word

"In my defense, I didn't know calling the Prince a 'dummy' would be considered an act of treason." -- OohLookShiny

In a sense, her defense was a compliment. The artisans responsible for the Prince's artificial body had done such work that the simulacrum holding his soul to the mortal realm looked amazingly lifelike.

She hadn't known that he was a human soul residing in a constructed body. And they were so rare, so expensive, that they were a last resort against worse

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Challenge #01305-C210: Where the Weirdoes Go

"I just want to collect arcade tokens, why does that bring out the weirdos?" -- SeaDragon1012

[AN: Once again, I invite all my registered users to opt in for a free plug of their blog/site over here]

"Maybe it's because this entire place is weird? I swear I've seen that same Polybius cabinet in four different places."

"Haha, maybe it's a TARDIS, haha," Carol droned. "It's a games con. Of course someone's going to have a Polybius cabinet. It's like the

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Challenge #01304-C209: Saturday Sloth

https://vine.co/v/i0vVFiH9AI7

Vine of old cartoon from 1940s.

knocking on door

Detective: Who's there?

Door opens

Skeleton, walking through door: A skeleton. -- Gallifreya

Frisk Dreemur (happily adopted) hadn't been thinking of much more than a Saturday in their pyjamas and watching ancient cartoons. Thanks to Mama Toriel, there was plenty for breakfast. And possibly lunch.

Gone were the days when Frisk would eagerly devour a cooked water sausage. With or without a bun. And those days were gone

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