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Challenge #01794-D333: An Argument Against Paradise

"So... so... from your grand cosmic point of view, my entire life, from the moment I was born till the day I die, is... is just a bit of idle entertainment? My very existence, in the eyes of the gods... is just a... a bad joke?!"

"Well... actually - though I must note that's a terribly selfish and negative way to phrase things; it makes us all look quite callous and nasty, a rather rude thing on your part, you know - when you describe it that way... you're not exactly wrong in saying so." -- Anon Guest

I could only think of all the shitty things that had happened to me in my life. The horrible things people had done to me that could have plausibly had a laugh track along with it. The awful mishaps that would be played with a 'wah-wah-wah' trumpet. "Was I funny?" I asked.

The deity was still waffling, "I mean, there's different kinds of entertainment, you know. Edutainment, for instance. I can learn so much from-- Pardon?"

"Was I funny," it was not a question any more. It was an accusation. If I was going to Hell for challenging my God, I might as well go down fighting all the way. "Were you laughing? Was I your joke? Was I even a good one?"

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Challenge #01793-D332: Hello, Goodbye...

“When in doubt, push buttons. Eventually something will happen.”

”Noo! Don’t!” -- TheDragonsFlame

"Rabbit," said The Spine severely, gripping his sister's wrist and preventing her from interacting with the console. "Pressing random buttons is how we got into this mess in the first place."

"Well s-ss-something's g-gotta get us back to K-k-k-Kazooland."

"Uhm," said Hatchworth. "We have... com-pa-ny."

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Challenge #01792-D331: No Werewolves on the Moon

... here’s a question: If werewolves become... wolves... under the full moon, what would happen if you put one ON the moon? (Assuming compatible life support) -- TheDragonsFlame

Welcome to Tsiolkovski crater. No lycanthropes need apply. The second sentence had been added by a graffiti artist of no repute and was faded in the unrelenting sunlight. Lupe bunny-hopped past it on the way to the colony.

If this was what passed for jokes in this space-town...

She found the nearest airlock easily

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Challenge #01791-D330: Reserved Seating

Exorcist/Psychic: “Oh spirit that dwells in this place, why have you not moved on?” … He says that he wants you to keep him updated on [TV show] since he died before it ended.” -- TheDragonsFlame

It was a nice little house. Cosy without being cramped. Light and airy without being exposed and drafty. It was, in essence, the last place anyone would expect to be haunted. And yet it was.

The living room was always rearranged on Tuesday nights, with the

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Challenge #01790-D329: We Know It Ain't Friendly

Biologically aquatic-capable aliens are stunned that we haven’t explored the deepest parts of our oceans, so they volunteer to go down and see what’s going on down there. And as per deathworld standards, what’s down there’s terrifying—even to us. -- TheDragonsFlame

"You really don't want to do that," the humans insisted. "We've been down there a few times, and that was plenty for us."

The Trraka, a race of highly intelligent cephalopods, scoffed at this. It was

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Challenge #01789-D328: Integration Contemplation

A pair/group of Numidids discuss their thoughts/opinions/views on humans when there are no humans around. -- TheDragonsFlame

They were at the uppermost branches of a sky-raker tree that overlooked the human settlement of Wiwazheer. The first Terran city to share a planet with Havenworlders. Of course, when they built it, they had no idea. Neither the Humans nor the Numidid had any idea that they had started colonising opposite ends of the planet simultaneously.

"They are loud," said a

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Challenge #01788-D327: You Want Humans

Humans are pack animals. We come together to overcome challenges that would overwhelm the individual. When we unite against a common enemy, we’re nigh unstoppable. -- TheDragonsFlame

They say that Humans are best in disasters. They do not mean that Humans make a better disaster by being added to the scene. They mean that Humans show off their best attributes when a disaster strikes.

Such as now.

The aftershocks had only ceased half an hour ago, but the humans had started

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Challenge #01787-D326: Strange Customs

It’s funny that we humans (or at least I) have this habit of commanding or coaxing inanimate objects when trying to move them. [E.g. tugs on stuck cable Me: C’mon, get over here...”] -- TheDragonsFlame

Toveth was a shopkeeper on the Edge Territories, and got to see a lot more of the Deathworlders that inhabited the outskirts of civilised space. The humans were the most confusing. As Deathworlders, they ranged from anywhere between large and intimidating to small and

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Challenge #01786-D325: No Pets!

A Human is patting an alien animal when they suddenly notice the rest of the away team is hiding behind the largest rock they could find. -- Fliss

"Oozagoo' critter? Oozagoo' critter?" Baz continued chucking the alien life form under its chin. Its hind leg waved vaguely in self-scratching motions. "You is! Essoo'iz! Essoo'iz! Esso'iz such'a good critter..." Baz paused from adoring the alien beastie to check on her team of alleged xenobiologists.

They were all hiding behind a rock and some

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Challenge #01785-D323: The Worst of the Worst

aliens learn about the dangers of human psychopaths and other mentally ill humans -- Anon Guest

[AN: Nonny, the mentally ill are way more likely to be victims of the psychopaths. See: mental hospitals vs the GOP]

Humans are apex predators. Most humans are willing to forget this. A rare few... aren't. A rarer few actively pursue that particular role.

Little can be done for them, save for steering them into roles where predation and exploitation are valued, such as war zones

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Challenge #01784-D322: Worrying Encounters

"But, there wasn't any psionic signal from this direction !"

What if Human are the only known sentient species who can't interact with some signal, like in the Wake comics ? How the first contact could look like ? (in the Wake comics, psionics signal are used as a mean of communication, something like telepathies. And human are "immune" to it. Meaning that we're just invisible to their system.) -- Anon Guest

Everyone knows now that Humans are 'space orcs'. They also know that Humans

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Challenge #01782-D321: Touching Base

Human Chat System. A system allowing humans to chat between themselves. You can find anything on it : Forum about beautiful location in space, information on xenos food, latest news of the Human Colonies and Prima Terra, and more importantly, a place to discuss this "Space Orcs" thing. -- Anon Guest

Username: twitchywitchygrl

Password: #########

Welcome to Human Chat! Please wait while we locate your nearest, most active chatroom.

:: Connect2 FarFromHome

Connecting to FarFromHome. Searching for active chatrooms.

FarFromHome 12 connected.

twitchywitchygrl: Hey guys.

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Challenge #01781-D320: Ambush Predators

Rushing up and down the FIFA carpark, the Doctor got increasingly frustrated. "She's BLUE!!! Not orange, but blue!" -- Fliss

The parking lot was almost lined with orange booths. Because this was an arena of high spirits, cheap alcohol, and impatient bladders. One would think, with paired booths every ten meters, that one blue one would be easy to spot, but such was not the case.

Holly said, "You don't even remember which parking lot you left her in?"

The Doctor stopped

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Challenge #01780-D319: Comfort Totem

Teddy bears are well- and widely-loved children’s toys… despite the fact that they’re modeled after 600lb/272kg beasts that could easily kill you if they so chose to. Seems reasonable. -- TheDragonsFlame

Somewhere on the Edge Territories, before Humanity was reclassified as merely insane...

"And that artefact?" said the Saurian trader, gesturing at the thing under the mammal's arm.

"Not for sale," said the creature. "That's -uh- a comfort item. It's called a 'teddy bear'. It's mine and I'm keeping

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Challenge #01779-D318: Pack Bonding in all the Wrong Places

Despite the fact that the Numidids are… well, fictional, I have quite a fondness for the little guys. It’s funny how our ‘pack-bonding instinct’ can go pretty much anywhere. -- TheDragonsFlame

There was a shrine set up in the Avenue of Remembrance. For a fictional character. Fanart adorned it, and no two agreed on what the character looked like. The little altar also spilled over with flowers, soft toys, and votary candles. Someone hung a banner that read, Always an asshole.

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