Instant Story

Challenge #02063-E239: Barry Critiques Them Afterwards

(Person 1): "So this is how I die... With thunderous applause..."

(Person 2): "Stop being so dramatic." -- TheDragonsFlame

Taako had been through many adventures. He had travelled across a hundred realities. He had bargained away his beauty, his health, and a skill to save the world. But this? This had to be the toughest fight of his life. For example, strictly off the top of his head, the fifteen-point landing he'd just endured because this particular band of necromantic chucklefucks had decided to sew together the corpses of several Large species to be their boss monster.

The only plus side was that it had killed several of them before Tres Horny Boys even got started. The minus side, naturally, was that he was down to zero hit points for the third time in this quote-unquote adventure.

Nearly dying just fucking hurt. At least unconsciousness swept it all away for a while. Not much of a while, because his family had learned to carry some health potions at long last for the benefit of the glass canon of the team. The rest of his team was clapping in the most sarcastic manner possible.

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Challenge #02062-E238: Magical Progress Goes Twinkle

Unseen University's Hex nails the math for reliable translocation -- Anon Guest

Magic has rules. This is a fact as real as the turtle that swims underneath the world. Or the four elephants on its back that support the entire disk. In order to fly, one must drop an equal weight and really know how to stick the landing. Magic can turn lead into gold, but that gold will make you sick if you hang on to it for too long. For

Challenge #02061-E237: Escape the Camp

(Person 1): "What did you get in your care package from home?"

(Person 2, happily): "Military-grade explosives!" -- TheDragonsFlame

The weatherproof box said 'Plasticine' and contained some ridiculously disproportionate cartoon characters on it. Inside were wax-paper wrapped blocks of brightly-coloured stuff that one might expect to be plasticine. But, to a non-casual observer, it wasn't... quite... plasticine.

It was amazing that the guards let it past, to be honest. But then again, Monty and the boys had been spending months on putting

Challenge #02060-E236: The Way to Make Change

Humans gonna Human -- TheDragonsFlame

A mother in a war zone hands her baby up to a complete stranger, knowing that they may never meet again, but her child has a chance at something better than this. Bullets sing through the air. Fire turns the surrounding landscape into tones of amber. And the last evacuation vehicle leaves the few remaining to their fate. The mother smiles anyway, and waves 'bye-bye' to her child. Pretending, perhaps for a last handful of minutes, that

Challenge #02059-E235: Betrayal is a Two-Way Street

“You really ought to learn not to be so trusting,” ze sneered. “The world’s a dangerous place.”

“Clearly you’ve never met a pissed-off human before.” She smiled. “Please, allow me to... enlighten you.” -- Anon Guest

The Human interlaced her fingers and twisted them about to make a sound like several walnuts being crushed at once. While the guards were wincing at that intolerable sound, she casually purloined one of their polearms and used it to stun the other one.

Challenge #02058-E234: Microquest

Dragon Microbiologist. That is all. -- TheDragonsFlame

The beast had been spotted over rivers and streams. Its visits were always brief, but they were methodical. Which was why Sir Valiant had been able to catch it at this point.

"Hold," he demanded, when the dragon lit at this particular point in the river that fed the city its water. "What vile villainy do you have planned, foul beast?"

The dragon turned its mighty head and examined Sir Valiant with each eye. "Pardon?

Challenge #02057-E233: In-sult-roduction

A genetically upgraded cat is hired as a ship's crew member. The Captain unfortunately thinks that since ancient cats hunted vermin, this crew-member would do the same. -- Anon Guest

When you assume, you make an ass out of you and me. -- Ancient Human Mnemonic/Caution.

Mixi Thicktail made certain she was crisp, businesslike, and formal. This was her first posting on a UFTP vessel and people had doubtless heard things about Nufurria and its residents by now. The difference between

Challenge #02056-E232: Fudged-Up Normal

As an orphan you were adopted by the local crime syndicate, and we’re just adorable enough that they were determined to give you a better life.

You have just beat up someone from your school and a phone call has been made home for a disciplinary meeting. The school is about to meet “The Family”. -- Anon Guest

There's a phrase I've come to know well over the years. I couldn't repeat it in full before I turned sixteen, but the

Challenge #02055-E231: Weapons of Mass Deception

"[Blank] can't expect us to just cry on command, " Person A muttered. They got a sniffle in reply and when they glanced over the tears were already streaming down person B's face.

"Are you serious?" Person A said.

Person B just grinned at them and choked back a fake sob. -- OohLookShiny

"They don't have much experience with women," Human Jori reminded them. "They operate based entirely off of entertainments, which are full of... regrettable stereotypes."

"Which is why we're wearing pink

Challenge #02054-E230: Dirt's Worth

"Look I'm okay with you scapegoating this onto me-"

"What? Why!"

"But next time warn me first. Do you know how hard it is to turn a weak lie into a strong one with no background info?" -- OohLookShiny

"Okay," Marvin allowed. "But... I still need to know why. Most people react to being pushed under the omnibus with vengeance."

Lady Anthe sat on the table so she could level a glare at the Human Fighter. "I'm a Kobold. The first name

Challenge #02053-E229: Bohemian Nights

(Title: Bohemian Rhapsody: A Space Opera) [what happens when the night-owl Humans take over the interstellar comms] -- Anon Guest

[AN: Can you please not have your titles be part of my prompts? It fucks up my routine to a rather major degree.]

Dead air. Silence. These things are anathema to the human mind. To them, there is such a thing as too quiet. Lock a Human in an anechoic chamber and they will go mad... And this was why the Party

Challenge #02052-E228: Wifi Fhtagn

We have found it... The mythical artifact of legendary power, rumored about since the 21st century... And now, after all this time, we have found it! The best wifi in the universe! -- TheDragonsFlame

It was small, and sleek, and had two antennae that made the whole thing look like an ascii-faced robot. Humans would easily see the 'face' and declare it as 'cute' or 'a little bit derpy'. Those not blessed with the capability for pareidolia would only see lights and

Challenge #02051-E227: Death Trade

Kill it! Kill it with lethal amounts of Sodium Chloride! -- @internutter

The enormous bipedal chordate flinched under the -pardon the pun- assault. Cried out. And yet, it was still standing after five rounds rapid. Then the assembled Cryptels watched in stunned amazement as the Deathworlder actually licked the powder from its skin.

"Mmmm..." It bared its enormous teeth. "YesthisisexactlywhatIneed."

It actually craved the death mineral. T'lu didn't know what to do. Ze clenched backwards out of instinct as this giant went

Challenge #02050-E226: Stockholm's Invisible Bars

Humanity has always fascinated a certain alien “scientist” shall we say, though in reality they were nothing more than a monster. Their newest “pets” were the result of their most recent experiments in gaslighting and the human phenomenon known as Stockholm syndrome. Never had one so cruel ever known such an horrific punishment by the hands of humanity. -- Sorry

[AN: No you're not]

Beware becoming your obsession. There are many that will eat you alive and not even spit out your

Challenge #02049-E225: A Tiny Terror in Tulle

"You're my bestest friend ever!" "Because I supply you with deadly weapons?" "That's what only the best of friends would do!" -- TheDragonsFlame

[AN: Now I want a Google Search image with "Did you mean 'Bangladesh Dupree'?" in it]

It wasn't easy, working for Princess Hakenslash. She was going to be a fine Warrior Queen one day, presuming she survived to achieve the crown. She was eight, and already a terror in pink tulle and play fairy wings[1]. She wanted nothing

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Flash fiction fresh from my fingers to your mind!

Challenge #02063-E239: Barry Critiques Them Afterwards

Challenge #02062-E238: Magical Progress Goes Twinkle

Challenge #02061-E237: Escape the Camp

Challenge #02060-E236: The Way to Make Change

Challenge #02059-E235: Betrayal is a Two-Way Street

Challenge #02058-E234: Microquest

Challenge #02057-E233: In-sult-roduction

Challenge #02055-E231: Weapons of Mass Deception

Challenge #02054-E230: Dirt's Worth

Challenge #02053-E229: Bohemian Nights

Challenge #02052-E228: Wifi Fhtagn

Challenge #02051-E227: Death Trade

Challenge #02050-E226: Stockholm's Invisible Bars

Challenge #02049-E225: A Tiny Terror in Tulle