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Challenge #02464-F274: No Ordinary Fool

Master Chef in SPAAACCEE!!! -- Anon Guest

Chefs tend to treat certain groups of people differently. Professionals who mess up are far more likely to get the chewing out of a lifetime than a small child or a student who is just beginning to learn. The most famous of them who held this philosophy has managed to spread it memetically through most of Human space. Now, every Human chef follows the same philosophy.

Now, because of the Train Wreck Phenomenon, cogniscents all over known space watch entertainments in which at least one Human chef bawls out alleged professionals competing for a prize. What the prize is, but what never differs is the length and breadth of creativity in the Human's insults towards the other chefs.

That's what most people tune in for, anyway. They come for the insults, they stay for the pageantry of competition, creativity, and tension created by all of the above. Some watched strictly to test their resilience by the method of exposure to dramatic musical stings. Very few indeed watched it for the cooking ideas.

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Challenge #02463-F273: Night of the Living PJ's

“I fucked up my internal clock and having insomnia always triggering midnight hunger.”

“Midnight hunger?”

“A zombie like state that make me crave food.”

“What's a zombie?”

“You’ll see tonight.” -- Anon Guest

Humans have weird terms for everything. Spacers, even more so. It's as if being locked inside a limited space with only audio channels available for communication triggers its own unique permutations on language. Either that, Grux speculated, or they were just Like That from the beginning.

"Just a

Challenge #02462-F272: A Not-So-Little List

Rael's introduction to cream pie, please. -- Anon Guest

[AN: You can find something similar in my very first anthology under the title of Time Out From That Good Fight (It should be in the late one hundreds, but if not, here's the link to the version on Steemit.]

Was there any bigger portent of impending doom than Shayde singing a certain song from The Mikado? Rael had unfortunately found out that the answer was 'yes'. It was Shayde singing a certain

Challenge #02461-F271: Works Every Time

So, based on your story about visiting aliens having to hover their hands over something to check if it was hot, imagine if one alien (or maybe even human) uses it as a pick-up line. Like, they hover a hand over someone's wrist or hand and they just say "hot." I think it would be cute! -- Anon Guest

Love is many things, but it was never logical, reasoned, or well thought. In literary terms, love is that idiot who dives into

Challenge #02460-F270: Like Humans Do

"Don't worry I based this defence system off a deathworlder immune system"

As I ask in a shaken voice, "What kind?"

It bares its teeth, that I later I learned it was a sign of affection. "Humans"

(A quick lesson to the immune system https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zQGOcOUBi6s) -- Anon Guest

The thing about Deathworlder immune systems, is that they evolved to deal with Deathworlder problems. As such, they could be viewed as needlessly complicated. They could also be

Challenge #02459-F269: Endless Fascination

While assisting the Archivaas, Shayde discovers Dr. Pimple Popper. -- Anon Guest

[AN: Trigger warning for gore and surgery for that entire channel. Go in prepared for disfiguring nastiness on all counts]

It was fairly common to find Shayde entranced in the viewing lounges of the Archivaas video archives. It was not that common to find her there without food or beverages within spill-safe containers. This viewing had her sitting almost immobile and staring intently at the screen.

Rael knew better than

Challenge #02458-F268: Simple Pleasures

"Okay, I'm going to ask again, and this time you better give me an answer that makes some fragging sense... HOW IN THE NAME OF ALL SANITY DO YOU 'MISPLACE' AN EIGHT-FOOT-TALL PIG-MAN?!" -- Anon Guest

"Okay, firstly, the correct term is Peccaroid..."

"Actually, firstly, the matter at hand is how the hell they managed to go missing. If the cops see them, they're going to wind up in some super-luau."

"Or on the force?" Lucas attempted a grin, but the joke

Challenge #02457-F267: One Link

I am not determined to be incompetent. I just want to feel safe. -- Anon Guest

Marvin nursed his arm, which he was told was only a sprain. He could only see out of one eye because his friends and allies in the Malitovs had given him one heck of a shiner for mucking up the capture of the wizard and their pet Kobold. Now, to prove his worth to his gang, he had to guard them. The wizard was bound and

Challenge #02456-F266: Please Explain

I like my women how I like my TV... thin, highly defined, turned on and flat against my bedroom wall

I like my women like I like my whiskey. 12 years old, and mixed up with coke.

I like my women how the age of consent in Japan is 13, LEGAL -- Some Gross Asshole Anon

The three men at the table laughed at the joke. They were the only ones laughing. Their server was less than perfect at putting their plates

Challenge #02456-F266: The Tough Nut

"I would like to acquaint your facial features, with the fundamentals of a brick wall, at high velocity, REPEATEDLY." -- Anon Guest

"Thrown or wielded?" challenged the Human.

This was not the expected reaction to a threat. K'rux startled for a second or two. "You are meant to be intimidated by my bulk and violence," they protested. "That will make you go away."

The Human raised one of their furry eyebrows. "You're new, aren't you? Haven't had the entire introduction to the

Challenge #02455-F265: Murder Most Satisfying

What if someone was addicted to murder? They had to kill someone one out of necessity, but enjoyed it too much. Now, they want to stop, but it's hard. -- Anon Guest

You know all those hokey old serial killer dramas? The ones where the murderer always says that killing's a rush? They were right. There's no thrill like it, you know.

I know that watching the light die from that bastard's eyes was the closest I could get to heaven without

Challenge #02454-F264: You're in Trouble Now

Newscast Breaking news!

Successful but peaceful Human colony world "Nirvana" a category 2.5 Deathworld, gifted to the humans for their contributions during the Acridith Incursion, has been attacked via Orbital Bombardment. Casualties are expected to be to be in the in the 10's of thousands, with the Injured numbering in the Millions.

The Vorax Empire has immediately distanced themselves from the atrocity and ,in a once unfathomable move, has offered aid, condemning the unknown aggressors for attempting to destabilise the most

Challenge #02453-F263: A General Warning

"Do you wanna go with me, [fellow Havenworlder]? Human Frank invited me to a showing of one of his favourite - what's the word? Ah, "movies"! No, stop screaming! This one is just some made-up story about wooden mush or something. Sounds pretty safe, probably not much violence there."

[ten minutes into Pulp Fiction]

"AAAAAAAAAAAAH!" -- Anon Guest

Never trust Human entertainments. They are made by Deathworlders, for Deathworlders and, for many years after they met and learned about Havenworlders, about Deathworlders.

Challenge #02452-F262: Tolerance Overload

Genders are like the twin towers; there was two of them, now it's a sensitive topic. -- Anon Guest

[AN: Oh boy, am I glad you're an Anon or I'd track you down and logically explain how this is so wrong on multiple levels]

There were rainbow flags everywhere. People wore their identities on their chests, on their faces, around their wrists and draped over their shoulders like a caped hero. Dave only knew what half of those colour combos meant, and

Challenge #02451-F261: Which War Game

"So you're telling me... that you have an actual WAR GAME!!" -- Anon Guest

The Humans had been playing Symbolically Kill Your Friends with something called Water Guns. Traxx, watching the mayhem, was rather puzzled, and asked the obvious question: "This is a game of hunting, or a game of war?"

Human Deb answered, "Oh we have loads of games of war." Then they casually shot their ally across the hall.

Which lead to the next question: "How much number is 'loads'?

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Flash fiction fresh from my fingers to your mind!

Challenge #02464-F274: No Ordinary Fool

Challenge #02463-F273: Night of the Living PJ's

Challenge #02462-F272: A Not-So-Little List

Challenge #02461-F271: Works Every Time

Challenge #02460-F270: Like Humans Do

Challenge #02459-F269: Endless Fascination

Challenge #02458-F268: Simple Pleasures

Challenge #02457-F267: One Link

Challenge #02456-F266: Please Explain

Challenge #02456-F266: The Tough Nut

Challenge #02455-F265: Murder Most Satisfying

Challenge #02454-F264: You're in Trouble Now

Challenge #02453-F263: A General Warning

Challenge #02452-F262: Tolerance Overload

Challenge #02451-F261: Which War Game