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Dear Diary

A 3652-post collection

I'm handling it

I've done the top of the TangleBag(tm)so now I'm doing the handles. There was some jiggery-pokery concerning getting there, but now I'm back to the old familiar doubles until I have enough to be a handle. The current extension is two inches long. Definitely not a handle yet.

The doc said the blip on my ear could be a wart, but the consensus is to get a biopsy and be certain.

I don't like having holes cut in me, so braving myself up to make the call to make the appointment is... a task and a half.

I got enough for me with the last thousand words for this week, to be honest. I'll see if I can get Beloved to call in for me and arrange stuff. Because I'm a dirty great coward about this noise.

It's gotta be done, just... not today?

Today, I'm doing my best.

Addendum:

[Shown here- a Strawpoll display with three even votes between: "Tropes I Despise: Burden Porn", "The Romance of a Thousand Couples - the RomCom Journey", and "Me and Hurting Myself". Each topic has one vote, and the vote is split into even thirds]

Once again, your fates and mine are decided with a dice roll. This time, I rolled a D6 and split the potential three ways.

I rolled a 5. This means that y'all are getting my long and sordid history of hurting myself physically, emotionally, and psychologically. Whee.

What a Tuesday

I'm seeing the doctor, today, about a mole on the back of my left ear. The old terror of cancer has me fearing the loss of my Darwin's point and the result of a notch out of my cartilage.

Every single time I've had a cancer scare, the damn thing's been benign and in recession. On the way out, and not even dangerous.

I know, sooner or later, one's probably going to get me, but... so far, precedent is on my side.

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It's April 1

The pranks will be flying, but not here. Here, I'm what passes for serious.

On Tumblr, though, a friend and I are doing a collab for a prank. Instead of me doing the story and her doing the arts, I did the arts and she's doing the story. We shall see whether anyone else notices.

I bet they will.

The TangleBag(tm) is three stitches away from a complete top, and then I shall work out the handles. Huzzah.

I'm also squeezing

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Focus?

Oh, ability to focus, where hast thou gone?

I've run through all my usual means of focussing on the task at hand, and all have... well... failed.

Let's run this through:

  • Listening to vocal podcasts about random stuff: Listening to the random stuff instead of writing
  • Listening to my music collection: Spacing out and reading stuff instead of writing
  • Brain.fm: Spacing out and reading stuff or playing games instead of writing
  • Shutting down everything but the work at hand: Re-opening the
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Almost There

I'm headed into triple figures with B'Nar, which means I'm seven weeks away from writing the last word on this thing. Seven weeks until the legitimate hard work begins on the story beats for a fantasy trilogy that will mean THREE FUCKING YEARS of just... writing one book, starting on the next, writing the middle book, starting on the third, writing the third book, etc. etc.

And the editing. Sweet merciful Powers That Be, the editing. It's not going to be just

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Friday Again

I doubled up my writing on Wednesday and Thursday so I'd have today free for assorted gas. It was a bit of a trial for me on Thursday, and I don't know why.

Probably battling my sads, but... I don't know.

Maybe this will be emotionally taxing for me in the long term, but I gotta try it. Like, I know I can push myself and do a thousand words a day in my novel, and that used to come with intense

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Pushing On

I'm doubling up on Wednesdays and Thursdays so that I have more freedom on my Fridays. That should give me a time window to get back to learning Java or any other of my gas projects.

Assuming I can focus on anything, tomorrow.

If I can't focus, I can fuzz out. Just... turn on something and tune out for a while. Let everything settle until something turns solid enough to deal with.

Not knowing anything is a bitch.

I just gotta keep

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(Deep breath) Sigh

I got some bad news, yesterday afternoon. My good friendo in Tullagawupwup has passed on. Her mother found her, which is horrible for her. Parents should never have to bury their children.

I still don't know if I'm allowed to mention her name online. She never wanted her abusive ex to track her down through photos online or mentions of her name.

Well. That arsehole can't hurt her any more. He can't contact her, he can't cause her any more stress. In

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Painkillers good

I usually mix acetaminophen [Panadol to us Aussies, Tylenol to the US] and ibuprofen to get rid of my cyclone headache. It was not cutting it, yesterday.

We have a small supply of Panafen, which has codeine in it. Codeine metabolises into morphine, which is a way more effective painkiller. This stuff is tightly controlled, so when our supply runs out, it runs OUT. I'll be screwed.

The good news is that I only need one Panafen to make the killer headache

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Ow.

Tropical Cyclone Trevor is now an ex-tropical cyclone, but apparently, I can still detect this rat bastard even though he's busy flooding the hell out of Alice Springs. I wasn't bothered by Trev's presence until he hit the far north of the Northern Territory... and I live in Southeast Queensland.

I have one HELL of a cyclone detection system.

I've taken some painkillers, but this shit is severe. Like. The entire left side of my head has a dull ache and the

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I'm Lernding

I didn't get all of my Nothing done yesterday. Beloved had counter-plns to drag me off. I'm still going to work on some of my shit today. I want to focus on learning Java because I really need to get that app going.

When I burn out from that, I'll catch up on the rest of my nothing.

I really need to get rattling with Java. Most of the programming course is about drawing stuff and I want to focus on text

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Gotta love a morning after

It got dramatic, last night. My little Gerblin convert turned away from the light and came back to bite us on the ass with the help of some worgs.

Gaarsh is very upset about all this. Especially since he's had his first kill since the Bad Time, and he was killing someone he was playing with just minutes before.

There's gonna be an angst fest and I plan on loving it to bits. Some arguing between the party members who are not

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D&D!! SQUEEE!

I am so stoked for today.

The whole gang is due to turn up and the game shall indeed be on and I intend to enjoy the hell out of it.

Other PLNs include all the flash fictions, as normal, but I've DONE my novel for this week, so I don't have to fret about that.

I might be able to squeeze in some self-education or work on any given project, today. That'd be cool.

We shall see what we see when

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WE LIVE!!

[Gif: Mushu rises from the clouds of smoke in a small fountain of sparks]

As you may have guessed, the site's back up. We've paid our internet ransom to the great IP host in the cloud.

This site is safe. The stories continueth.

I have figured out that if I write a thousand words per diem on Wednesday and Thursday on Game Nite Weeks, then I don't have to worry about my output on Game Nites.

That's the PLN for today, and

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I might forget Patron today

Apologies in advance, I will be doing my utmost to be sure it's done, but...

I have a shrink visit in an unknown location and that's likely to fuck me up big time. Getting there. Getting back. I am likely to be a frazzle.

I'll try not to forget that, or the other things I have scheduled, but... I know me.

Now you know I'm at least trying.

Speaking of doing my best, I have figured out that on weekends of Nothing,

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