Amalgam Universe

Challenge #01159-C064: Not-so-Vital Information

Is there a species in the galactic community large enough to hold a human like a hamster? -- Gallifreya

Taken from the Wikipedia Galactica under the heading of Illogical Questions Asked About Humans...

A: Short form answer: usually not.

Long form answer:

Cogniscents in the Galactic Alliance vary in dimensions and mass. For organic cogniscents, the mass is usually between eight and five hundred Standard Weight Units. There are a few exceptions [see file: Hive Minds] but giants are solely in the realm of myth.

Inorganic cogniscents, those who are made or manufactured, have no such limitations. The largest known AI with a body capable of manipulating smaller beings resides on the Terran colony WENT [Walter Estates New Territory] and is a member of the Consortium of Steam.

Though this entity is large enough, when inhabiting his body, to convey humans about as if they are hamsters... he prefers not to. Such conveying may not harm a hamster. Humans, however, are too large to withstand such scaled-up manipulations safely.

However, the entity can and will convey human-shaped robots about as if they were hamsters. Which, our editors are told, is close enough. Both parties thoroughly enjoy the experience.

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Challenge #01155-C060: One Tiny Flaw

http://this-book-has-been-loved.tumblr.com/post/139007622507/things-ive-actually-heard-college-students-say

And another one -- Gallifreya

"Look," said the proud architect. "It's the perfect sealed environment. Everything anyone could need, including weather systems to strengthen the trees[1]. I thought of everything. Water purification and recycling, food manufacture. I even created a system that eliminates pathogens in the waste recycling system and removes all risks of infections. There's more than adequate space for everyone, lounges and personal space, shared space. Look. There's even a cinema!"

Director

Challenge #01154-C057: One Ambitious Training Session on Amalgam Station

http://this-book-has-been-loved.tumblr.com/post/139007622507/things-ive-actually-heard-college-students-say

pick one -- Gallifreya

[AN: Only one? They're all gold!]

It was a minor Ambassadorial meet and greet session, allegedly concerning negotiations to stop the Greater Deregulations from being such massive collections of feces towards their fellow human being.

Not acting like massive collections of feces towards non-human cogniscents was going to take significantly more time and effort.

Laws and regulations were not really working. The most the Deregulations would do was show lip service

Challenge #01148-C051: Filling in Time

Channeling Bugs Bunny (maybe Shayde?): "I know this breaks the laws of physics, but you see I never studied law." -- RecklessPrudence

[AN: Yes, Shayde did study the laws of physics, but she also found some loopholes]

They were waiting for the dust to settle and Security had already confiscated Shayde's guitar. Possibly out of self-defence. Which meant a series of increasingly unlikely self-entertainments that she pulled out of her trans-dimensional 'pockets'.

One day, Rael supposed, they would learn that Shayde was

Challenge #01143-C046: Can it, Carol!

"Hmph. I'll have you know, that whole thing is just a horrid example of misinformation."

"You're basically a two-meter-tall mantis from our perspective. Humans assuming you devoured your mate was kinda to be expected... namely since, uh, you did."

"Well, yes... but not before he was dead! We do have laws, you know. Such is our way for those who are gone. Your kind just throws them in a dirty hole to rot or burns them to ash. How wasteful." -- Gallifreya

Challenge #01138-C041: All Things Spadge

Some of the nicknames make sense - their name sounds a little like that word and a slip of the tongue gives them a moniker for life.

But how the heck did nicknames like (RL example) Spadge happen? --Gallifreya

[AN: Dunno how it happened to your friend, but...]

The new crewmember had a special word. A word for all things. A word that could mean all things. And after a week of hearing things like:

"This is complete Spadge."

"I love

Challenge #01137-C040: Special Education

The routine butchering of names by various species that have trouble with minor inflections in other languages which inevitably results in silly nicknames - T'reka > Trekker, for instance, or to borrow from another author, Usze > Uzi and N'tho > Nitro -- Gallifreya

Names are important. Across the Gallactic Alliance, all cogniscent beings had a string of sounds or signals that meant 'this is me'. And some... could get quite picky about it.

"Ra-el," said Rael.

"Rail," said the human.

"Ra-el," said Rael.

"Ray

Challenge #01121-C024: Humans Are Space Orcs

A couple of case studies that had managed to be kept away from the general galactic knowledge pool (except under specific licensing and non-disclosure contracts) come to light - the cases of Phineas Gage, James Brady, Ahad Israfil and others that have suffered massive head injuries and made practically full recoveries, despite the loss of large amounts of brain. (And often despite the lack of medical care of the time - Phineas's accident was in the 1820s)

(Warning for Ahad, pictures from

Challenge #01120-C023: Irreconcilably Different

http://haberdashing.tumblr.com/post/137972037479/songofsunset-fireandwonder-songofsunset -- Gallifreya

[AN: I know for a fact that there's a really bizarre bug out there. Its young can only eat this super-rare fungal growth, and they solve the problem of making more babies by having one larva gestate like a billion more larvae inside it as it eats. I can't find the name of the thing for life of me. I know David Attenborough talked about it, but that still leaves a lot of

Challenge #01112-C015: Performance Piece

A scrap of data is recovered. Death's Belief Speech, from Hogfather. Doesn't matter if it's the book or the movie.

For those who haven't read it, a clip from the movie is here.

Not as anything unique to humanity, but rather as a comment on Sophonts as a whole, from a human who would have very much liked to meet the rest of the universe. -- RecklessPrudence

[AN: I would also love to meet the rest of the universe, but I have

Challenge #01111-C014: To be Good Parents

Speaking of created peoples - whether biology or technology-based - and whether they can be trusted/will rebel/will have morals/all the standard concerns:

"If we do our jobs right, our children are better people than we are." -- RecklessPrudence

The station officials had cleared out a medbay for the anxious parents. A standard Medik and a Wave of the Future Medtech stood by. Patient and implacable.

It was one thing to be first-time parents. It was an entirely different level

Challenge #01106-C009: Once More, Into the Brig...

"It's a thrilling tale of a dried apricot, four bags of flour, and a torch." -- Gallifreya

Ax'and'l blinked very slowly. It was telling that he was getting used to these levels of crap. And if he let on, he knew that Hwell would only invent new and more interesting levels of crap.

"Save it for getting free drinks at the bars, and even then, I'm letting it known about your capacity limit." He sighed and turned to the Security Guard. "What's

Challenge #01095-B363: But What Does it Mean?

Another sentence for SPoE(n): “Because of the agency’s oversight, the corporation’s behavior was sanctioned.” And other words that exemplify the "superiority" and "purity" of English: http://mentalfloss.com/article/57032/25-words-are-their-own-opposites -- RecklessPrudence

They had given Shayde a piece of paper preserved under glass. In a special room with careful lighting. Between the half-words on either side, an innocuous sentence.

Because of the agency’s oversight, the corporation’s behavior was sanctioned.

It was news print. The other side

Challenge #01085-B353: The Cosmic Balldance

Shayde, a costume party, and hundreds of miniscule self-adhesive glow in the dark stars. -- Gallifreya

Of all the reasons that humans had found to throw a party, the autumn festival of Halloween confused him the most. Mediaeval superstition met a modern-day desire for revelry head-on in a display of both ingenuity and greed.

Case in point, the Ambassador of 1986TCE[1] Shayde F. Pitt was throwing a Halloween ball. It promised to be one of the more colourful human celebrations. And

Challenge #01080-B348: It Used to be a Good Shortcut...

Person #1: You're talking about shoving me in a torpedo and launching me at a planet!

Person #2: Details! Now shut up and get in there. -- RecklessPrudence

"No," said Rael. "I'm a little tired of being treated like some immensely indestructible thing for everyone else's convenience."

"But you are a-- mmmumf mmmf mfflmmff."

"Blakely. Can it." The captain took a deep breath. "You're right. We should have consulted you. But these Sargasso-style pirates have rigged it so that only the smallest

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A 2297-post collection

Challenge #01159-C064: Not-so-Vital Information

Challenge #01155-C060: One Tiny Flaw

Challenge #01154-C057: One Ambitious Training Session on Amalgam Station

Challenge #01148-C051: Filling in Time

Challenge #01143-C046: Can it, Carol!

Challenge #01138-C041: All Things Spadge

Challenge #01137-C040: Special Education

Challenge #01121-C024: Humans Are Space Orcs

Challenge #01120-C023: Irreconcilably Different

Challenge #01112-C015: Performance Piece

Challenge #01111-C014: To be Good Parents

Challenge #01106-C009: Once More, Into the Brig...

Challenge #01095-B363: But What Does it Mean?

Challenge #01085-B353: The Cosmic Balldance

Challenge #01080-B348: It Used to be a Good Shortcut...