Amalgam Universe

Challenge #01956-E132: Impressive, But...

"Hmm... I'm impressed."

"I/We thought you'd like it."

"I said I was impressed, not that I like it." -- TheDragonsFlame

There are certain things that were just... impressive. A cellar full of drunk middle-schoolers chanting Fuck da police whilst a policeman is present. Singing, This is me giving a shit, in front of a man who has the power of life and death over you after he has just attempted to insult you. Staging a resistance against a superior force, alone, with nothing but a horse and an ancient sword.

Impressive does not always mean good. Especially in this case, with the three beaming Humans and the captive leader of the Hol'draxi.

The Humans were what one might call heavily scuffed if one didn't know the details of this particular escapade. One that somehow involved three Ship's Humans, each from separate ships, finding each other in the chaos of war and then getting a brilliant idea. Which is worse than it sounds when it's a janitor, a mess chef, and a morale officer doing the thing.

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Challenge #01955-E131: Good Morning! Good Morning!

From the "Coffee Zombie" Human to the "Warmth Seeker" Reptilian, the earlier hours of the morning can be amusing. -- Anon Guest

Of all the phenomenon in known civilisation, slow starters versus morning people is one of the most universal. The people who spring from their slumber, fresh-faced and cheerful and raring to go are both treasured and hated in equal measure. Treasured, because they are the kind of people who can be relied upon to make the coffee or hot beverages

Challenge #01952-E128: Transformative Love

Fan fiction, some of it heartbreakingly brilliant, some of it so badly written you wonder if they ever even saw the original series. But glued to their devices they tap out their allegiance to people or beings who are imaginary. -- Anon Guest

The Archive of Transformative Works is a subset of the Archivaas Conglomerate. Those who strive to preserve everything humanity or intelligent life has created. Even the worst that a barely creative mind has to offer. It is oppressively huge.

Challenge #01951-E127: Posthumous Communication

Sandwiched between cardboard, or up-market leather they colour our lives, change the way we see the world, and of course they never age. Sherlock Holmes, Robin Hood, James Bond, Mr Darcy, Alice, Tom Sawyer. -- Anon Guest

"And then there's the curious incident of the dog in the night-time," Alpex read out loud. Like all new readers, the reading was painful and slow and almost monotonous. Ze stopped. "You do know this method of information sharing is the one least likely to

Challenge #01946-E122: Change for the Better

Paper clips, rubber bands, and the ever reliable wire coat-hanger. -- Anon Guest

In accordance with Galactic Standards and Practices verses the JOAT Conglomerate, all Standard Screws will now feature a slot to accommodate the use of a 5 Sec Coin in lieu of any screwdriver.

Truly. This was a day of victory. Of course, the fine print under the announcement reassured business owners that secure spaces were still allowed to use non-standard fastenings, so long as they provided the relevant tools

Challenge #01944-E120: Detect Trap

If it looks too good to be true, it's probably a con. -- Anon Guest

Exciting opportunities were to be found in the Callibreso Void, according to the promotional puff piece. A new force was being investigated that could be a natural form of anti-gravity, as opposed to the gravity generators that were the sole responsibility and product of the Nae'hyn. If it could be isolated and harnessed, then it would be a new revolution in propulsion technology. You, too, could get

Challenge #01943-E119: It's a Living

Having the tact and sensitivity of a kick in the ass can be considered a disadvantage in nearly any circumstance, mostly when dealing with superior or ambassador. But from time to time it allows you to unfreeze some situation. -- Anon Guest

Sometimes, delicacy and care are needed in a given situation. Sometimes, people need a swift kick in the butt. For the former, there is the entourage. Which contains all the people who know tact and negotiation, and how to 'handle'

Challenge #01938-E114: Shark Generosity

Temptation comes in many forms, 30% off for one. -- Knitnan

Sale season was something Shayde was used to happening during the new financial year. Something that this new age didn't have. What they had, instead, was tax season. Which lead to the tax season charity sales. Excess stock that the companies could no longer afford to store, was to be sold at a discount to those who could otherwise not afford it.

Shayde, who could afford anything she liked now-a-days, still

Challenge #01936-E112: Recurring Pathology

You finally decide to re-arrange or clean up an area and find stuff. -- Knitnan

"This is not a collection," said Rael. "This is a hoard."

Eyah sighed. "Yeah. I might have a problem."

Rael leveled a ersatz-telepathic Look at his fellow Faiize. It said, You may have made the biggest understatement since some alleged genius claimed that black holes are 'a bit heavy'.

"Okay. Yes. I have a problem. I can not stay away from glittery objects. I mean... I have

Challenge #01933-E109: Once Upon an Adventure

We 'narrative apes', don't just tell stories, we play games to pass the time. -- Knitnan

Humans are an inventive lot. They invented inspired desperation as a survival instinct. They invented fiction to make their lives more interesting. They're one of the few cogniscent species and the only known Deathworlders to have boredom. They can multitask, and some of them can multitask, apparently, faster than light. Some are capable of multitasking with mind-boggling precision. Others can't remember what they were doing two

Challenge #01932-E108: Cute, Fluffy, Dangerous

It looks adorable, acts so very cute, and even smells attractive. Don't go near it with barge pole. There's got to be some huge catch. -- Anon Guest

Humans are bizarre. At any given moment, they will attempt to tame and then ride any beast bigger than one of their domestic canids[1]. They will coo over and attempt to pet any given venomous or aggressive creature. But it was on the planetary system WEP969HU84I, nicknamed Planet Cutiekiller, that another aspect of

Challenge #01930-E106: Deathworlder Rituals

You can’t not look at explosions. -- TheDragonsFlame

There were warning signs up surrounding Unsuitable Food Eat. Humans celebrating inside. Small, harmless explosions expected. Fireworks warning. And a pictogram of sparks and explosions with an alert sign. Even the newest of Havenworlders to the Galactic Alliance learned that Humans liked to celebrate with sparking fireworks, loud noises, and shocking expulsions of streamers, as well as other loud noises.

And inside, was a typical Human party. Loud people. Loud accessories. Loud clothing.

Challenge #01929-E105: Wrong Hostages!

You’d be surprised at how much stuff you can screw up with 24 hours, the proper motivation, and a screwdriver. -- TheDragonsFlame

Rael glared at the human in his company. "Do you mean literally, as in fasten, or figuratively, as in ruin?"

A devilish grin. "Ruin," said Shayde, already digging into her extradimensional pockets. Not even dragging their contents out into what passed for the light. Finding what she wanted by feel. One tool emerged. A relatively small swiss army knife.

Challenge #01928-E104: Tag, You're Undead!

The homo genus utilized the persistence hunt as one of its primitive hunting strategies. The homo genus, including homo sapiens, is remarkably well suited for this. We are relatively hairless for mammals (it's actually just much thinner than most mammals' hair), bipedal, sweat over-actively, and our legs (from the soles of the feet to the connection at the hip joint) are very well suited to distance running.

With that said ... I just learned that a few Kenyan villagers ran down a cheetah

Challenge #01926-E102: Science Fiction, Double Feature

Let's hear it for all those cheesy Z grade movie monsters. -- Anon Guest

Shayde had started another side business. The facade declared it to be Armpit Theatre Entertainment. And a placard on one of the windows proudly proclaimed, We show the worst that humanity has to offer! Closer inspection revealed a subtitle to that which read, Yelling at the screen is encouraged if you are funny.

Was this one of her jokes on the rest of civilisation? Or was she making

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A 2337-post collection

Challenge #01956-E132: Impressive, But...

Challenge #01955-E131: Good Morning! Good Morning!

Challenge #01952-E128: Transformative Love

Challenge #01951-E127: Posthumous Communication

Challenge #01946-E122: Change for the Better

Challenge #01944-E120: Detect Trap

Challenge #01943-E119: It's a Living

Challenge #01938-E114: Shark Generosity

Challenge #01936-E112: Recurring Pathology

Challenge #01933-E109: Once Upon an Adventure

Challenge #01932-E108: Cute, Fluffy, Dangerous

Challenge #01930-E106: Deathworlder Rituals

Challenge #01929-E105: Wrong Hostages!

Challenge #01928-E104: Tag, You're Undead!

Challenge #01926-E102: Science Fiction, Double Feature