Amalgam Universe

A 2297-post collection

Challenge #02178-E349: Worn Away

"I don't like escort mission..."

"It can't be that bad !"

"We must escort a class 1 Havenworlder with no survival instinct." -- Anon Guest

[AN: See here for reference on Havenworlder scale]

Havenworlders, especially, are known for not exactly evolving, but sauntering vaguely along the evolutionary tree until cogniscence eventually kicked in through sheer boredom. The higher the Havenworlder instinct, the worse they are at certain survival skills.

This is not the rule. Unfortunately for Humans thinking they have an easy escort mission.

"Let's take an escort mish," Lyn said, quizzaciously falsetto. "They're not really that much trouble."

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Challenge #02174-E345: Unstoppable Argument vs Unflappable Opposition

Automatic skills, once acquired you can just do them. Touch typing, knitting and my personal favourite the cat owner's foot sweep and fridge door close manoeuvre. -- Knitnan

Muscle memory is an amazing thing. A skill set repetitive enough can wander into the back-brain and just... remain there. Encamped. Ensconced. Set into stone once done often or regularly enough. So much so that the being involved in such thorough learning can employ them whilst employed in another activity. This phenomenon is most

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Challenge #02173-E344: Predator Practice

The most common game in the galaxy was, Surprisingly, Hide and seek, Havenworlders even had entire Leagues and sports stars based on the game.

For Havenworlders it was thrilling but safe, and allowed them to exhibit each species natural abilities in defensive evasion, as well as honed their tactics and attention to detect Predators

They were surprised to find Humans enjoyed the same game, realising that the seeker made sense to a Predatory Species, but it Terrified them just how well a

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Challenge #02172-E343: One Notorious Encounter at Midnight

Vorax raiding parties had enough trouble with ships containing only one human, imagine the response to encountering a ship with a full crew of them... -- Amberfox

The ship was dark and silent. After numerous excursions in which the Vorax had encountered Humans, they felt that -perhaps- attacking a ship in its dormancy period might rally the spirits of the crew. Certainly, it lacked a little honour, but the Humans were next to relentless and this area of space was loaded with

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Challenge #02171-E342: The Depths to Crawl

It will be called the Battle of the Somme. It will begin on a date that will be called July 1, 1916. In this charge, on the first day twenty-thousand men will die. Twenty-five thousand more will be wounded. But most will survive, and charge again another day.

Belisarius shook his head. "How-?"

We do not know. We do not fully understand humans, even the Great Ones. But you will do it. You will do it again and again and again. And

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Challenge #02170-E341: The Little Necessities

An alien realizes his travel buddy of a different species who he thought was a bit immature is a literal teenager and immediately becomes more protective. -- OohLookShiny

Gorkz was rather fond of Human Zae. They were rough around the edges, as all Humans were, but there were enough positives to balance out negatives like, instantly drawing a straight line between any random phrase and a crude joke. They were loyal to a fault, knew which direction to take their aggression out

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Challenge #02160-E331: Not That Simple

I have love in me the likes of which can scarcely be imagined and rage the likes of which you would not believe. If I can not satisfy one, I will indulge the other. -- Anon Guest

If there is one rule of the Universe beyond, never ask questions to which there may be a painful answer, it is this: Never Anger a Primary Parental.

Q'essoj was busy learning this. They thought that taking a Human infant from an apparently unguarded area

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Challenge #02159-E330: Understandable Precautions

A Havenworlder exploration vessel is exchanging stuff and ideas with a Terran exploration vessel. All is relaxed and going very well until one of the Terrans puts down their drinking vessel and declares the most terrifying words in all the multiverses -- "I've just had a thought!!" -- Anon Guest

Humans are Deathworlders. They have become gradually aware of this. Deathworlders and Havenworlders should not mix, but space is an unfriendly environment and sometimes you really need a big friend who is

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Challenge #02157-E328: The Melody Lingers On

few things annoy or irritate a human more than an unfinished tune or ditty...

ESPECIALLY the simplest ones, notably "a shave and a Haircut" and "Pop goes the Weasel" -- Adam in Darwin

Humans have an alarming attachment to rhythm and melody for a species so centred on sight. Many prefer to have "their tunes" in the background during work, and many more are victim to the Ice/Pressure phenomenon[1]. Humans say that music is a universal language, but even they

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Challenge #02156-E327: They'll Be Back

It wasn't that Humans were suicidal, nor are they intrinsically self absorbed.

They just understand better than even most Herd like species, that sometimes the only way to save the masses is to sacrifice the few, preferably themselves.

That doesn't mean they went quietly, or easily. -- Adam in Darwin

It only takes a moment. A split-second decision along the lines of, Here is where I stand and fight. The lucky few see it in the Human's eyes just moments before the

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Challenge #02155-E326: Alone in the Night

It was a single dot in the blackness of space. All it did was shout 'I am!' to the surrounding cold dark. -- Anon Guest

This is space - lots of it is very dark, except for the bits of it that aren't. When there is light enough to see by, one could be completely unaware of the plethora of light surrounding one, and therefore think that the blackness of the void is infinite. Technically, it is. It is also peppered

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Challenge #02154-E325: She's Still a Pup

[NAME] winced slightly. "It's a dog, Major. A companion animal."

"Looks like a class 3 bio engineered weapon to me!" -- Anon Guest

The creature was huge. Even sitting down, it was almost as tall as a human. It was almost as wide as a human. Only the wagging tail distinguished it from a Terran bear. That, and the lolling tongue, dripping saliva as the animal panted. The human by its side agitated some fur by a nub that could have been

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Challenge #02153-E324: Canned Exodus

The Mom Mobile, either a titchy little car that is slightly larger than a phone booth or the massive Soccer Mom, haul anything including the whole team. -- Anon Guest

Men carry money. Women carry the world. -- Ancient Human Proverb.

Galactics can easily tell which gender secured the Human escape vessel. The tiny ones that barely fit the number of survivors and a minimal amount of survival supplies are generally procured by the males. The large and bulky ones with room

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Challenge #02153-E324: Legendary Salvation

"The group was brought back to Hamburg to stand trial, where they were sentenced to death by beheading. Resigned to his death, Stortebeker struck up a bizarre deal with the mayor. His pirates would be lined up in a row when he was decapitated. The mayor promised to free as many men as Stortebeker’s headless body could walk past.

This must have seemed like a raw deal for the pirates, who had doubtlessly witnessed the effects of multiple beheadings in their

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Challenge #02151-E322: Easily Entertained

Human: ha, dogs are so easily amused. I just watched this one Chase his tail for 15 minutes straight

Alien: You spent 15 minutes watching a dog chase its tail

Human: yeah, that's what I just said

Alien: and the dog is the one whose easily amused

Human: ...yes?

Alien: (sarcastically) okay, sure that makes sense -- OohLookShiny

The list of dangerous things in the known universe had once, paradoxically, contained entries on both "quiet humans" and "laughing humans". It has since

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