InterNutter

Indie writer seeks audience with an audience. Paying customers welcome. [pronouns: ze/hir] Daily free stories happen because it is an excellent counter to Writers' Block.

Burpengary East http://www.cmweller.com 12638 posts

Challenge #00278: Den of Iniquity

Jacqui, the blackie, the lackey named Pertwee (and yes I know she’s a she! :P) and the almost comical bond formed watching the terrorist let loose in a crafts store.

[AN: Can we not have racist (or any –ist) words in submissions, please? No matter how cute it might be that it rhymes, it is not a nice word.]

John Smith had come to catch the mutant out. He still suspected that Scott Summers was somehow cheating, even after all this unexpected familiarity with mutant-kind. Even after finding out that no matter how mutant a mutant was, physically, they were still human, mentally.

Though Sara was a matter of some debate. Primarily because she had rarely been human in her mind before she became a ‘fully fledged’ mutant.

And speaking of Sara…

There was Mrs Adrien. High-powered socialite and unexpected advocate for mutant rights including the right to be treated like any other human being. Wearing a shade of blue that looked very fetching, rather than her trademark strawberry-pink power suit, or - Smith realized - her post-mutant-daughter purple.

Sharing leaning-space on the square column was none other than Agent Jane Pertwee. Trying to look menacing whilst also simultaneously leaning on a column and being damn near bored to death.

Come to think of it, his feet kind of hurt, too.

“This place needs courtesy couches.”

“There’s a kiddies’ zone in the far east corner,” said Jacqui. “Rubber jigsaw mats in various stages of decay, sadly. And the Smurfs cartoon series on an endless loop.”

Smith vomited in his mouth a little. “Ugh. Thanks but no thanks. I didn’t know you shopped here.”

“I’m don’t,” said Jacqui. “Sara’s insisting on becoming a 'fanbot’ for some something-punk band and can’t find the right kind of wig. Or makeup. Or items of flair. To be very strictly honest, I’ve lost track.”

“At least yours walks around,” griped Pertwee. “Mine’s been up and down the yarn aisles five times. And he’s picking up that same fucking ball of wool again!”

Smith could understand. He’d been allowing Summers to lead at increasing distances until the column looked like a very nice place to lean.

There was a distant crow of, “Yes! Gears!” from somewhere in the craft-themed labyrinth.

Jacqui remained rooted to her spot.

“I think your daughter’s found everything she’s looking for,” prompted Smith.

Jacqui leveled a glare at him. “You obviously have limited experience with craftspeople.”

“I’m picking up some of the lingo,” Smith confessed.

“Six times,” muttered Pertwee. “Ooo. He’s decided to take the fucking ball of wool. How excitement.”

“Sara’s culching,” explained Jacqui. “Whatever she comes to the checkouts with, it may not all be used for her current project, but it might come in handy.”

“OoooOOOOOoooo…” came the faint coo of Sara. Evidently, she had found something cool.

Jacqui rolled her eyes. “I really should look at some comfortable shoes,” she noted. “Or a portable chair.”

“I can recommend FitFlops,” deadpanned Pertwee. “They’re made for people who get sore feet. And ensure that they don’t.”

“No,” agonized Pertwee. “Don’t go looking at the crochet hooks again…”

“I take it some are more fussy about their sources than others?” Smith enquired.

“No,” said Jacqui in a dead, flat voice. “They’re all like that.”

“Sometimes?” said Pertwee, “We have to get rounded up by store security at the end of the day.” Her mad smile had nothing to do with finding anything funny.

“Been there, done that, got a dozen tee shirts,” said Jacqui.

Somehow, Smith got the idea that he would not be finding any mutant cheating, today. He would, however, be finding sore feet and the little cafe around the corner that made its keep from bored co-customers like him and Jacqui.

Pertwee, unfortunately for her, was not allowed to leave her post.

Smith bought her coffee anyway.

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Norwegian TV Station to Air Five Straight Hours of Competitive Knitting

Norwegian TV Station to Air Five Straight Hours of Competitive Knitting

betterbemeta:

catawampuscreations:

tobbun:

*sheds tear* My country!

...so it's a knitting Triathlon?

This is

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"Awwwww!!!"

Good idea, wrong innovator. Bonus if you can use a member of the new recruits not normally given a starring role. Details please.

(#00277)

{trickle trickle trickle trickle DOONK}

Jamie leaned back in appreciation. He made it work! He made something work! And it was beautiful.

“What the hell, Squirt?”

“It’s an office meditation toy,” he announced. Sure, this one was made out of whatever he could scrounge, but the finished product… was going to

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Challenge #00276: Peck of Dust, Dust, Dust...

Dust.

People tend to think about the big things, when it comes to the perils of space travel. Meteors. Solar flares. Stresses on the air tanks. Sparks in unwanted places.

Few ever ponder that a crew might encounter trouble with their own epithelial cloud.

Five year missions were the maximum, after the trouble had been discovered, of course. People who got dandruff either had to shave (carefully!), vacuum, or pass on the idea of going into space in the first place.

Filters

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Challenge #00275: On the Folly of Tailored Worlds

When the moon hits your eye, like a big pizza pie, that’s a bore. Eh?

Worlds can not be built. That sort of thing takes millions of years, and no known cogniscents are willing to wait that long.

They can, however, be tailored.

The most famous group for doing this are the Archivaas. A human-descended cult of collecting, collating, storing and sorting records and information of all kinds. As a preventative measure against data loss, post Shattering, much akin to

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Challenge #00274: Anomalous Behavior

21 years ago there was a container spilt at sea containing thousands of bright yellow rubber duckies as well as frogs and turtles. Scientists are still using the data from where they are found to make better charts of ocean currents and point out anomalies and there were notices posted on loads of beaches of a number to call and where to find the duck’s serial number to make sure it was from the spill.

Most have been recovered, but

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Reblog with your pin-up self!

thegoddamazon:

sharlynegger:

thecouscousqueen:

afrogrrrlxvx:

lifeslittle:

thewearhaus:

ppowercunt:

mxtori:

razycrandomcunt:

nerd-do-well:

The Deluxe Pin-up dollmaker is out now. c:

Make your own here

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i gave mine a mustache because i am a boy. 

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Too accurate.

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awwwwyeeeeeeaahh

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…Assuming I lost all fat (and possibly some internal organs) and about 20 years… I might look a little like that. Maybe.

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transhumanisticpanspermia: stfuconservatives: theghostofyourliess: Ladies and Gentlemen, the Prime Minister of Australia kicking ass and...

transhumanisticpanspermia:

stfuconservatives:

theghostofyourliess:

Ladies and Gentlemen, the Prime Minister of Australia kicking ass and taking names (mostly Tony Abbott’s.

Easily one of my favorite moments of 2012.

The fact that she’s a prime minister and not a president makes this even more awesome.

That means that she’s actually taking a risk with this speech - she’s speaking to the people with the power to boot her out of office at the drop of a hat.

But she decided

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Mundane Utility: The Sequel

Expanding on the previous challenge, why not show how some other mutants with fantastic superhuman powers use their incredible abilities for decidedly non-incredible things?  Pick at least two.  Oh, but not obvious/overdone stuff like Jean using her TK as an extra hand - be creative. – Josh

(#00273)

“This is my popcorn,” Lance protested. “You want some, go make your own.”

“But I’m hungry now,” protested Freddy.

Todd used his prehensile tongue to

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Challenge #00272: So sharp...

Realising that Wolverine rarely, if ever, actually washes his claws

or

Wolverine getting a hand cleaning the claws, because it’s fiddly when both sets are out and he can’t put them away until all the bits of zombie/dirt/stuff are gone

[AN: Since it’s my birthday, today, you get both.]

“Whaddaya mean, don’t ‘perform field surgery’?”

“What is up with you?” demanded Scott.

Sara looked around at

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