InterNutter

Indie writer seeks audience with an audience. Paying customers welcome. [pronouns: ze/hir] Daily free stories happen because it is an excellent counter to Writers' Block.

Burpengary East http://www.cmweller.com 12609 posts

Challenge #01334-C239: So Unfair

School 'Pain in the Anatomy': "Well, he'll either wind up in Jail or grow up to be an Archbishop." -- Anon Guest

Life is unfair. Anyone trying to tell you different is either trying to sell you something, or is one of the people who actively make life unfair. Such are the lessons drilled into us at school. Not by the teachers, oh no. They're still trying to sell us all the ideal that hard work earns good rewards.

The lesson is taught by other children.

Cruel and harsh and unrelenting. Beating down anyone who is different. Reaching for the heights of popularity by stepping on all of those who also stand out.

The stepped on cannot stop them. And that is another harsh lesson. Those in authority will do nothing to the steppers, and everything to the steppees when they inevitably snap.

And then these wild creatures are released upon the world. The steppees do their utmost to salvage a life out of the wreckage, and those who step...

Tamara stopped cold when she saw the name from her past. Jamie Stenson. His face and name were plastered all over the renovation walls and bus stops along the street. He was doing some talk about synergising success.

He'd lost most of his hair. He'd got fat. And he also, apparently, was worth billions of dollars.

This was the kid who had called her all sorts of unprintable things, looked as innocent as an angel when finally dragged to the office, and could have gotten away with murder. Had, in fact, nearly done so.

Tamara tried to put it out of her mind. The little stain on her daily life was off doing something else. Far away from her. He could not, and would not, be bothering her any more.

Until the day he and some of his lawyers were in her office and seeking her accounting help. They had two hand-trucks worth of unsorted paperwork and the expectation that she would do miracles. His old accountant had been cooking the books and he needed everything unriddled before his next divorce.

Tamara felt compelled to say, "You were a pain in the ass to me in school."

"I was a pain in the ass to everyone in school," he said. "You'll have to be more specific."

"You called me Grape Ape, amongst other things, and damn near killed me on sports day because you thought it might be funny."

He could have said, "I'm sorry." He could have feigned horror at his past self. What he did say doomed him. "Ah, not worth remembering. Water under the bridge."

Tamara faked a pleasant smile and told him she would undertake investigations at once.

Thorough investigations.

It didn't take her long to realise that Jamie Stenson's accountant had been cooking the books in his favour. But also, so had Jamie Stenson. He was guilty of shuffling assets between shell companies to generate virtual money. And it showed a pattern of infidelity that five of his eight ex-wives should find very interesting indeed. Especially since he'd reneged his way out of paying them any kind of alimony based on his allegedly faithful support of their chosen lifestyles.

All of this information got 'accidentally' sent to his exes, the IRS, and a couple of news agencies that despised him almost as much as she had.

He was going to wind up both in debt and in jail.

"Not worth remembering," she would tell him. "Water under the bridge."

And then she'd deliberately drive her wheelchair over his toes. Reminding him that some things that he forgot would stay with others for the rest of their lives.

(Muse food remaining: 25. Submit a Prompt! Ask a question! Buy my stories! Or comment below!)

Sick Games I play

That is, games I play when I'm sick.

Like: "Is it really this cold, or am I feverish?"
Or: "Am I tired from virus fighting or depression?"
Or: "What dose do I really need?"
Or: "Should I be worried about this symptom?"

And my personal favourite: The Keeping Your Fluids Up 10 Metre Dunny Dash.

Three guesses what got me up at 2:30AM today?

Yeah. Illness has means of getting us down. One way or another.

So now game #2 is

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Challenge #01333-C238: Pick of the Three

"You can have it done well. You can have it done fast. You can have it done cheap."

"Pick any two!" -- Anon Guest

"You dare talk to me like that?"

The artisan didn't look up. "I talk to everyone like that. Fast and well is not cheap. Well and cheap is not fast. Cheap and fast is not well. Is there more that needs explaining?"

"Do you know who I am?"

The artisan spared a moment to look up. She regarded

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GFDI

It's one of my fave acronyms when things go agley to the point of explosive frustration. And this morning has definitely been GFDI material.

I discovered this morning that the love of my life had not acquired their 'Flu shot this year. And apparently the fact that the entire family caught a virus was enough to convince them that this year's 'Flu shots are a crock of crap.

Which meant that I had to spend some time quietly explaining the science behind

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Challenge #01332-C237: People in Glass Houses Shouldn't

Garnet vs. the PTA -- Gallifreya

[AN: Cue Harper Valley PTA :D]

Steven's first semester at school had not gone great. He was failing advanced math, and flunked right out of sharing that class with Connie at all. And on the night before the PTA meeting, Steven came home with a note.

It was not a criticism of Steven, nor of his scholastic performance. It was a criticism of the Gems and their 'unconventional' lifestyle being a reason why they should not

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Executive Dysfunction R Us

I have come to realise that Miss Chaos and I share more than anxiety. There's also a healthy dollop of executive dysfunction in there. Well. Not that healthy. It's a bad thing to have and it can mess up your life.

For the peeps in the cheap seats, Executive Dysfunction is when you consciously know you have to do a thing, but there's a disconnect between knowing you have to do it and actually doing the thing.

Sometimes, it's like this comic

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Challenge #01331-C236: Epic Levels of Bullshit

I knew about this story, but I had never heard the reasoning behind having the 'roos in the simulation to begin with. Makes a lot more sense, now. -- RecklessPrudence

[AN: The real funny part was that this story was used as an example of checking your GD code before release. I heard it in one of my BInfTech lectures. Australia just seems to be a nexus of firkin weird stories. See: The Emu War (spoilers, the Emus won)]

"...and then the

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::is frustrate::

There have been server issues centred around my email programs. Something I could have been told about on Friday evening, but I found out about it on Saturday morning, when I couldn't get the receipt email from Cinebuzz.

I can read emails on my phone only, at the moment. What I can't do is send any replies.

Hopefully this is a state of fuck-uppedness that will only last but a brief moment. I really don't want to deal with this long term.

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Challenge #01330-C235: Grass No Greener

Supervillian grad student, just trying to get by: (Details) -- RecklessPrudence

[AN: This tale harkens back to story 1 in this thing ]

I tried to tell her it wouldn't work. Convincing a superhero Aunty to finance a neophyte supervillain requires more points in debate than dear little Wondergal ever possessed.

Just like every other rich person, Aunty Wonderbabe thought that all the poor people had to do to get ahead was work harder.

"Fine," said Wondergal. "Then I demand to have my

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Ch-ch-ch-chaaaanges....

For every step forward, there's a stumble back. And a risk of going back to what's familiar, because that's what used to work.

But this is not that.

Followers of my tumblr will notice that I have a new format for pushing my Instants at you. Like all good clickbait, I give you a taste and hope its interesting enough for you to come over and read the rest of it.

I'm still getting used to the Facebook cut-off, but I might

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Challenge #01329-C234: Not-Bear

I'm not saying it's bears, but it's bears. (Details) -- RecklessPrudence

"And in other news, Australian zoologists have managed to capture the fabled Yowie. Down by the little outback town of Canyapassabeermate[1], a local dingo trapper found more than he bargained for in one of his cage traps."

They cut to the live feed where the only person wearing corks on their hat was the American newscaster.

"G'day from down under," she cheered, blatantly ignoring the winces of contact embarrassment from

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Ow ow ow

It's beginning to look a lot like Lurgi...

I am more mentally scattershot than usual. Brain fog is closing in, there's congestion in my bronchii that won't bloody shift, and I keep sleeping on my shoulders wrong and mucking them up.

And of course I've had my almost bloody typical 3AM wake-up because my life must be absolute hades for some reason.

So naturally I start dozing at the keyboard.

I need coffee.

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Challenge #01328-C233: Pax Multilingual

Ghosts and the word 'boo'. Details here. -- RecklessPrudence

"What the hell did you say to that demon, Demon?"

"Shayde," said the demon. "And she was'nae a demon, she was Seeliegh. A Fae."

"You speak gibberish, demon," said Sir Ethil. "More so than usual. Everyone knows that fairies are small and have butterfly wings. That monster looked more like an insect trying to appear human."

Behind Sir Ethil, Tragyk the Mage snorted. He had a lot of trouble with pollen, every time

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Happy birthday, Mayhem

Of all the injustices of the universe, the greatest must be having a birthday while you're sick. You can't go out. You can't have a big party. You can't do anything much but ingest whatever you can and groan pathetically. Or wrap yourself up in a doona and play videos all day.

Fortunately, three out of four of those things are Mayhem's favourite activities, so he's not that put out. The minor inconvenience of lurgi is quelled by medication and he hasn't

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Challenge #01327-C232: Almost Like Home

Vulcans discover Australian wildlife. -- Anon Guest

Out in the Never-Never, it's either deathly dry or flooded to the point of cataclysm. This time, when the Vulcans sent their science team to investigate, it was deadly dry. Though they had a native guide with them, they seemed most at home in this arid and hostile environment.

Some even felt chilly, and wore coats.

"Ey up," said the native guide. "Got a nesting emu up ahead."

'Ey up', they were assured, was Australian

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