InterNutter

Challenge #01912-E088: Just a Wee Dram Ye Ken

It's St Patrick's Day, Irish Pub - Feegles. (AKA the Wee Free Men, of Sir Terry's Discworld.) -- Anon Guest

Up the airy mountain,
Down the rushy glen,
We daren’t go a-hunting
For fear of little men; -- William Allingham, The Fairies

Britain has an Agency for everything. National Health, Child Welfare, Disability Assistance, you name it, they have it. They're also the home headquarters of UNIT and WHO, the United Nations International Taskforce and the Weird Happenings Organisation, respectively. And a good thing, too, since the British Isles seem to be ground zero for all kinds of strangeness. Up to and including a slightly crazed individual in a blue box.

Today, it's an otherwise normal pub somewhere in Ireland, and a problem that can't be solved with Five Rounds Rapid. A high-class phantasmal incursion from another realm. The beings from a different reality were Nac Mac Feegle, or 'Feegles' for short. All because the British Isles were a nexus of psychic energies. And a very popular fantasy author was causing a mental focus on his works and all the strange creatures within them.

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Gottalottachoklit?

Well... I don't really know. Not for sure. Beloved has been plying the house with all sorts of carb-loaded treats for the holiday, so my Monday will likely be spent on a fast. Or mopping up the sad remains of whatever carbs happen to be left over. I haven't made up my mind, yet.

But, given that I have that inflammation stiffness in my throat that usually means a saline dose on Max... I'm putting my money on 'fast'. Asthma is a

Challenge #01911-E087: Uptick in Downsizing

Recently retired or otherwise unemployed mildly clueless accountant overhears diners at a nearby table discussing a business difficulty and offers advice.

They seek him out periodically for more. Eventually hiring him to handle their books and offer other periodic advice.

He doesn't realize that they are the mob. He also doesn't realize that he is moving quickly up the ranks because the irregularities he finds in the books lead to catching leaks, or people skimming off the top. Or that by pointing

::William Tell at 15RPM::

I have zero plans beyond my Instant Fiction, today. And powering through as much I, Zombie as I can because if we spend too much time on it, it'll cost us money for the re-rental of the service.

Stan is only good for one thing: I, Zombie. The rest of it sucks and it isn't worth the fees and charges.

Other than that, I have no news. Health is fine, despite the heinous amounts of shop-bought carbohydrates over the last couple of

Challenge #01910-E086: All Due Caution

“Lieutenant, stop petting the wildlife.”

“With all due respect, sir, the wildlife is damn fluffy.” -- TheDragonsFlame

Look with your eyes, not with your hands. -- Human parental expression.

Humans are tactile creatures, for all that they're evolved to understand the world primarily through vision. Their young will prioritise it thusly - see a thing, touch a thing, and if possible, stick it in their mouth. Ninety percent of parenting a human is making certain they don't do this. Especially the last

::Opening notes of William Tell::

Today is pretty much going to be absorbed, amoeba-like, by a three-hour round trip to Captain S for fish on Friday.

Which means that I get as much of my work done now as I can, and nap on the ride there. Fun.

And today's exercise is: Not well-actually-ing Capt S when she inevitably trots out some junk science she got from "all these doctors" on some scam she's bought into, this week.

It's pointless arguing with her. She's going to stay

Challenge #01909-E085: Some Bargain

"Oook!" Life was so much better. With a tip of the hat to Sir Terry. -- Anon Guest

When you got right down to it, being transformed into one of the great apes wasn't that bad. Living expenses became super-cheap when all one needed was a hanging tyre and a blanket or three in a corner. The diet was bland, but affordable. Especially if one knew a guy who knew a guy who worked in gardening and could supply an ape with

Sigh

Everything is slowed the heck down, and I can't use my phone as a hotspot forever. Data payments.

So now I have to put up with this horseshit and deal.

But the good news is that I'm taking a me-day. After I'm done with today's instant, I am parking myself in front of the TV, bingeing on all the stuff I've wanted to catch up on, and devoting my time to whatever the fuck I wanna do.

Because the school holidays have

Challenge #01908-E084: Pearls and Male Chauvinist...

Reading Sir Terry Prachett's works and having it just passed of as 'light reading' at University. -- Anon Guest

She opened the book to read it and relax while she had her lunch and a coffee. Unfortunately, it was also dudebro o'clock, and a man-child had to come and comment on her material.

"You're reading that? I thought you were intelligent..."

Sue put the book by Sir Pterry down and glared at him. She had never met this man before, didn't know

I'm thinking of cheating

I've got 1K to go on re-finishing Rael. Now, I could be a sensible little Nutter and space that last one thousand over two days.

OR...

I could write it all today and have two days "off".

You know what I'm going to do today, don't you. Yep. I'm going to spree the heck out of my novel writing so I can have a four-day weekend of nothing but the stuff I enjoy. Whee!

I might pay for it later, but... there's

Challenge #01907-E083: Pitcher Plant

Why do children rush toward bright colours and loud noises? Because it looks like fun. -- Anon Guest

"I turned around for just a second, and she was gone. Off like a shot. I couldn't catch her. I didn't see which way she went. She just... she just went."

It was the same complaint all over Lower Tadfield Young teens and children above toddler age were going missing. Even the people running the funfair were complaining. But there was something... odd... about

Glacial is an insult

To the tune of The Internet is for Porn from Avenue Q:

The internet is so slow
The internet is so slow
Why can't I just make it go?
It's slow.
Slow.
Slow.

Things suck at the moment. They suck so bad that I'm actively thinking about hanging out at a mall with wifi and doing a portion of my work there.

It's that awful.

But I'm being patient for now. I'm almost positive that it's the kids' internet usage that spikes

Challenge #01906-E082: What Trickles Down

Medieval Jesters and modern clowns can do what others can't. Mock the mighty, poke fun at sacred cows, and give people a hug without facing an assault charge. it's called Clown's Privilege and should be treated as a gift. We allow the bizarre to touch us in so many ways -- Anon Guest

Three things to do. (1) Get up there, (2) Tell the unvarnished truth, and (3) Make it so funny that the Grand Dictator doesn't decide to execute you.

No

Slowed Right Down

The internet is especially shit, this morning, and for a change, neither I nor my beloved little darlings are at all responsible. No, dear readers, it is none other than my Beloved and their laptop.

If this continues for more than a couple of days, I get to taunt them.

[cue evil chuckle]

The end of the month and Erastide are coming up. Which means that real soon now, we could have us some NATIONAL BROADBAND! Just in time for the US

Challenge #01905-E081: Who, Me?

Excuses both lame and creative. -- Knitnan

Of all the forces of creativity, imagination, and progenitation available, nothing in the known universe is more powerful and simultaneously more inept than a small child who has been caught out, and is desperately digging to get themselves out of the hole they are already in.

"Uhm," said Kae. Elbow-deep in the cookie jar. There was no denying that her hand was in there, and there could be some debate that she was, indeed, taking

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Indie writer seeks audience with an audience. Paying customers welcome. [pronouns: ze/hir] Daily free stories happen because it is an excellent counter to Writers' Block.

Challenge #01912-E088: Just a Wee Dram Ye Ken

Gottalottachoklit?

Challenge #01911-E087: Uptick in Downsizing

::William Tell at 15RPM::

Challenge #01910-E086: All Due Caution

::Opening notes of William Tell::

Challenge #01909-E085: Some Bargain

Sigh

Challenge #01908-E084: Pearls and Male Chauvinist...

I'm thinking of cheating

Challenge #01907-E083: Pitcher Plant

Glacial is an insult

Challenge #01906-E082: What Trickles Down

Slowed Right Down

Challenge #01905-E081: Who, Me?