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real life

A 3822-post collection

May not have time for a total Selfish Day

Wouldn't you know it? As soon as I resolve to have one Selfish Day a weekend, things immediately get away from me. I just won't have time for a full day.

Today, I am finally taking that mint plant off to MeMum because it is threatening to take over the area by the sink window. Tomorrow, weather permitting, we are going to the beach.

I mentioned previously that I am not a strong swimmer and I don't like unexpected water on my face. Surf freaks me the fuck out ever since Mum-in-Law thought it was hilarious to get a photo of Beloved and I kissing in the ocean while we were getting clobbered by a wave.

I may have inherited MeMum's ability to cling to really bad experiences. I can't help it. Some things make an impact on me and this one? It set my swimming learning curve back by about a decade.

So a majority of my beach experience is fighting panic whilst sitting in the shallows or clinging like a nervous primate to the much more self-assured Beloved and generally having a bad time.

I'm already having pre-trip jitters about that. The downside of thinking about things too much. Plus invasive thoughts. Plus vivid flashbacks of every single fucking time someone thought it was funny to mock me for being terrified of drowning.

At least Beloved understands and tries to reassure me. Or find safe places for me to be in the water. We have such a culture around swimming that finding someone who is aquaphobic is such an amazing statistical outlier that it's easy to make them a figure of fun. And my default state is weird anyway, so it's no shocker that I never fit in anywhere.

Meh. I can't spend forever getting maudlin about my life and the millions of ways that I went wrong. That way lies madness. I have to focus on enjoying the time I do have. Making my todays better.

Le sigh

I must have been spoiled by my first experience with serviceseeking.com because I am greatly disappointed by the lack of matches to my query.

The first time I used it, I had offers flooding my inbox [and a few calls] before two hours had gone by. Now? Silence there, as Poe wrote, and nothing more.

Ugh.

Beloved told me to give it a few days, but I am very tempted to just look up a fridge seal repair person and get

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As Bullwinkle once said...

"This time fer sure."

Finally got to make that appointment for Chaos, which is happening today. I'm finally going to get those dang schoolbooks. I may even see to one of our bills with the money I have left. Which should still leave roughly $100 in the kitty until next Tuesday.

I still have to talk to Beloved about getting that firkin mint plant to MeMum.

But at least I have the ball rolling on Chaos and all her disparate needs.

I

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Grrrr... fargnax...

OK so I was so eager to have money again that my mental calendar flipped ahead by an entire week. Which means I pretty much have to keep my head in for ANOTHER week.

We have loads of stuff to eat, so it's cool. What's not cool is not having options. Like... "Meh, I don't feel like cooking, let's have Pizza/HJ's/Maccas/RandoTakeoutPlace" kind of options.

What's also not cool is that the freezer needs a defrost and, despite our best

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Payday! Time to get broke

It's the payday just before school, so today will be full of shoes, socks and jocks. Water bottles and hats. And hoping that Officeworks will have the shiznit we need in time.

I have some money squirreled away, just in case. I hope it won't be necessary, though.

Today's big challenge will be keeping the kids awake all day. They've got used to the old siesta and school won't let you take a napnap. The barbarians.

With luck, we should have everything

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Battery at 98%

A planned day at the beach turned into a day at the local pool. It being closer and easier to get to. I'm not a very strong swimmer and I really despise getting my face splashed, so even the shallowest of kiddie pools can bring on panic symptoms if there's five billion kids... well... being kids in a swimming pool.

Plus Chaos thinks it's greatly entertaining to splash me for some reason. Maybe it's because it's a predictable reaction. Maybe it's because

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I feel so much better

I should learn. I really should. When I'm feeling depressed or overwhelmed, I just need some Me-Time.

Yesterday - I did buggerall. Today, I plan more of the same.

Of course you will be getting the instant story and the daily instalment of Iris and Peter Get Married (Eventually). But beyond that? I plan on doing nothing very much at all.

Beloved has weather-dependant plans to go to the beach. You will be hearing about my sunburns and sandcastles if all goes

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I'm taking a day or two

Weekends are the perfect days for Selfish Days. And I kind of need a Selfish Day or two because I've been skipping out on looking after myself.

Stressing out about shit that needs to get done only results in me going into a spiral and not getting anything done at all. And much though I'd love someone to just come in and take care of the stressful stuff for me... I have to do it and being Clear will be a big

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Welp. Gotta do it today

I never got the message from Officeworks about the books, so I have to chase them down about it today. I gotta get lunchboxes, pay bills, and plan the laying-in-of-supplies.

Thank goodness I now know a place where I can get poppas and snacks by the crate.

I gotta get myself into enough gear to cook meals again. These last few weeks have been heat-and-eat when they haven't been purchase-and-gorge. Beloved's been enormously helpful, but they can't cook for me forever.

Nibbling

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Changes and PLNs

I shaved my head, today. I just couldn't stand another minute of having swampy hair in the humid atmosphere of a Queensland Summer. Most of the stubble is my natural hair colour. Weird little patches, here and there, are the bright orange that I used to sport.

No longer. A deep, violent red is cheaper by the job lot, so that's going to be my new hue until such time as something cheaper comes along.

I may have to pay someone to

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Summer's back

Beautiful sunny day plus sweltering humidity equals I really should have gone on my walk nearer to dawn.

Oof.

I'm sweating up a storm, my hair is a swamp, and today's walk reduced my personal batteries to the red zone.

All I can focus on is what I need and what I currently can't afford because no spare money.

I need orthopaedic sandals made for plantar fasciatus, because my feet are getting beyond swampy, too. Also I need footwear just to be

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This time for sure

All my gassing yesterday came to exactly nowt. The doctor's phone was engaged. I ran out of both impetus and spoons to go do the book thing. And the floor never got swept.

Blargh.

BUT... I did get more nibbling done. And I have to re-nibble the kitchen countertop before encouraging some of my family to help clear off the fridge-top because the stuff up there is bad.

No more hoarding egg cartons. Nobody wants them any more. Best to recycle them

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Gradually unfucking my house, and my life

I'm getting there. The floor needs a sweep and I might just make the brats do that because I'm having a low spoons day. When I get up from my blogging duties, I will enter another basket of washing into the eternal cycle of sorting clothes.

I nearly have a full bag to take to Saint Vincent's. All clothes that Mayhem or Chaos or both have outgrown.

I'm still hanging on to a pair of size 16 jeans in the idle hope

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Beginnings and endings

It's all tangled up in January. Sure, the year is over, but my Year of Instants won't wrap up until sometime in February. The story behind that being that I didn't start doing my Instants until sometime in February, 2013, and that kind of echoes on.

Maybe someone will give me a Multiple Prompt and I can whittle that gap down a little more. But probably not by much because this will be another Leap Year of Instants for 2016.

I'm also

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Tough slog

New Years is still kicking me in the butt, alas. The nibbling I should have done yesterday just... didn't happen.

Other things got done. Things that needed to happen, of course, because I've been waiting for said happening for the better part of a year - if not more. For instance, the jade plant I inherited part of from my grandad finally has its own garden bed.

This plant is practically unkillable. It's gone from growing in front of his house, to

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