Parenting

A 20-post collection

Challenge #02623-G066: Occupational Hazards

A: Human, why are you eating with your off hand?

B: Oh, I sprained my dominant hand. It should be better in a few days, maybe a week.

A: WHAT WERE YOU DOING???

B: Cleaning the walls.

A: What.

B: Well, the kids left hand prints on the walls.

A: Just use the auto-cleaner.

B: Auto-cleaner's not rated for bio-hazardous materials.

A: WHAT DID THEY PUT ON THE WALLS???

B: Their own feces. It was disgusting. They did it while I was asleep, and it liquefied while I cleaned it. Not only was the smell atrocious, I learned in the nastiest way possible that at least one of them's been eating dog hair.

A: I think I need calming medicine.

B: You do that. I'm gonna get some more ice for my hand. -- Anon Guest

There were multiple reasons for forensics-level Cleaners, primarily of those was the pathogens present in crime scenes themselves. Second, interestingly, was the hazards of parenting. Small children, especially small Deathworlder children, have a pronounced predilection towards mess that is also bio-hazardous. Small children across known civilisation will spread about anything they can as a form of play combined with a form of expression. Learning the difference between the approved and disapproved spreadable substances.

Bodily waste, no matter which species scattered it about, is definitely disapproved. Even Havenworlder waste can be hazardous to other Havenworlders. Though the advent of Cleaners as an item of sanitary biotech helped significantly, some levels of bodily toxins require greater actions to cleanse. Some required authorisation to use and, when a house has biohazard smeared across a surface, urgency is a factor.

Through those logical steps, the parental variants of occupational injuries were both logical and shocking through their variation. It goes beyond the standards of stepping on or tripping over toys or catching diseases or infestations from their young. In many cases, it's astonishingly daft self-injuries. Like the brace on Human Zar's dominant arm.

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Challenge #02583-G026: Ma Yub

There are two kinds of parents. There's the kind that thinks their children should have the experiences that they had when they were a child, and there's the kind that thinks their children should have something better than that.

The problem with being that second kind, I've found, is that it's hard to give your children something better when you don't really know what that looks like. -- Anon Guest

Bringing up the next generation of cogniscent life is never easy. Certainly,

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Challenge #01575-D114: Ruination in Paradise

This is a quote from Patrick Swayze: "The way to screw up somebody's life is to give them what they want." -- Anon Guest

The woman in the beautiful dress picked her out from a line of other poor orphans, and promised Lux everything she could ever want. Lux had wanted to keep her more common name, but the glittering lady insisted that all of her life accessories had to fit her lifestyle, and thus renamed her new child Luxury. Her own

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Lies, damn lies, and Mayhem

My son seems to be a pathological liar.

I’ve reduced his computer time. I catch him out and lecture him EVERY single time [average: about 5 times a day, including made-up stories to “fit in” with the conversation]. We’ve even spent an entire night telling lies to him so he gets an idea about how frustrating it is to live with a liar.

He still lies.

He lies to get the things he wants. He lies

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