Magical Mayhem

A 217-post collection

Challenge #01707-D246: And Hardships Unnumbered

(On doing something (in the original a work of magic) usually considered extremely difficult, if not impossible, that the speaker mastered to the point it was near-trivial under [Name], but hasn't done for years)

(said fondly)

[Name] will reform from the ash of her own pyre and skin me if I fuck this up. -- RecklessPrudence

After the disaster that flattened the Forests of Ee, death covered the land like a blanket. The waters soured, and any living thing that entered the lowlands for an entire season choked and died. Winter wrapped the lands in even worse, and the survivors who eked a living out of the highlands were loath to re-enter what had once been a fertile valley.

Tebnir the Little had undertaken the long journey to find Salamer. The only surviving Mage who knew the Life Spells. Mages were peculiar sorts, preferring a life alone in distant towers. Staying away from people and studying. Or living their whole lives in libraries and not actually doing anything. But, once in a while, they could be swayed. If someone had a desperate plight. Or an interesting find. Or enough gold.

Tebnir had two of those things. So she spent a year walking to Salamer's tower. With hope in her heart and a seashell she had found in the mines. Pressed into a rock. From the top of a mountain. It had to be interesting enough to capture a scholar's interest. Or so she hoped. She certainly didn't have gold.

Support me on Patreon!

Continue Reading

Prompts remaining: 10 Submit a Prompt! Ask a question! Buy my stories!

Challenge #01706-D245: Pass on the Wild Ride

Pookas. Referencing "Harvey" the original and the best. Shadye and a Pooka -- Anon Guest

The foothills of the headlands. Headed into Enchanted Grounds. Civilisation tried to stay away from places like this. The walls between the worlds grew thin, and all kinds of eldritch beings emerged, with their eyes set on the hearts and minds of man.

They don't mind snacking on eyeballs, lungs, and intestines, either.

The captured demon, who could see things that mere mortals could not, squinted at

Read more »

Challenge #01701-D240: Chosen by Disorder

"When chaos bears fruit, you eat first and think about the stomach ache later." -- RecklessPrudence

It was the only tree that grew sideways. Its leaves were purple. Its fruit was a shade of pink never seen in nature. But this... was not natural. This was a tree that grew in the Realm of Disorder. It stood still in the wind and waved when it was calm. And whenever it rained[1], it danced.

The Lord of Disorder held a Fruit Party

Read more »

Challenge #01687-D226: The City of Ghosts

"The priests and holy-men, they claim those things out there are the restless ghosts of dead gods."

"And what do you think?"

"I'm not so sure they're ghosts." -- Anon Guest

They called this land the Dead Plains. The grasses grew high, but trees would not. Neither deer nor cow would voluntarily graze on the grasses, here. Even horses, an animal universally recognised as rather dim, would not walk into the preternatural flatness of the Dead Plains. And worse, it was fresh

Read more »

Challenge #01681-D220: Worth of a Rat

[Asked to apprentice under a powerful, but poor, magic-user - their response]

[Mage]: Hm... Okay, but I can only pay you in unimaginable power.

[Prospective Apprentice]: That works. -- RecklessPrudence

The child was outside her tower again. Humming. Not any particular tune, no, just an aimless grind of voice that was like a slow-turning belt sander against the soul. It was persistently annoying enough for her to disrupt her experiments and take the journey down to ground level.

"Didn't I tell you

Read more »

Challenge #01662-D201: The Motivation Game

“Please do not destroy the irreplaceable magical artefacts, no matter how annoying they are,” -- RecklessPrudence

The Orb of Vexation chortled at Verski. With a sigh of regret, Verski put it back onto its cushion and re-sealed the Gate of Infinity. Finally, he turned to his tutor and said, "But why?"

"Aw, da diddle baba gonna cry," said the Orb of Vexation. "Waaaah, waaah."

Maester Kalrix conjured Cone of Silence over the Orb. "No matter how trying they are, these are important

Read more »

Challenge #01656-D195: Amazing How it Works

[Name]'s job description is less Indiana Jones and more "disarming multi-millennia old nuclear weapons without an instruction manual". - of an action archaeologist in a fantasy realm -- RecklessPrudence

Elbi was classed as a Rogue. Technically. It was her job to detect and disarm millenia-old deathtraps so that the rest of her team could safely document and investigate archaeological curiosities. And what never ceased to amaze was the fact that, despite eons of neglect, every single one of these traps was

Read more »

Challenge #01644-D183: The Hero's Third Hand

"Hah! And what can you possibly do? We have already defeated the Destined Hero!"

"Not Destined, but gonna be a Hero anyway!" -- RecklessPrudence

The thief arrived in the Evil Sorcerer's tower two minutes too late. Just in time to watch the Hero Foretold breathe his last. Just in time to hear the Evil Sorcerer laugh malevolently at the sight of the unforetold corpse. There were no tears. There was no sorrow. Just a quickly-rising rage.

"The hero foretold to bring my

Read more »

Challenge #01642-D181: Reformation

(To a powerful Mage who, since the moment a cataclysmic war ended, has been attempting reforms of the - dangerous to the very fabric of the universe - way magic is taught and thought about, from some soldiers who were standing guard outside the Council chambers)

[Soldier]:"[Mage]," said one. "What the fuck?"

[Mage]: "I don't have to start another war," they said. "This is a good thing. I can go be happy somewhere else if it bothers you."

[Soldier]: "Uh," said

Read more »

Challenge #01641-D180: According to Prophecy

"It wasn't because of betrayal that I sent you away. It was a matter of insurance. You needed to survive, in case this happened." -- RecklessPrudence

"Mother," said the Rogue Princess, "I'm with the Rebellion. I'm here with the army foretold to end your reign."

"I know," sighed Queen Maliss. "It was foretold. It was also foretold that we would die together if I kept you close to my heart. I know you despise me. And the things I had to do.

Read more »

Challenge #01628-D167: Honey Trap

When stepping into a Gods domain, enter as the supplicant or as something greater than a God. Never as a conqueror, Gods take a deep and personal delight in casting down challenges to their authority. -- RecklessPrudence

We apologise for the inconvenience, said the words in her head. We must quarantine you from reality as you know it.

After ten years of bouncing from reality to reality, the being who called herself Shayde had to wonder what these superior powers were up

Read more »

Challenge #01607-D146: Hermit Permit Pending

"To be honest, I hadn’t planned on the whole Dark Lord thing. It just sort of happened." -- RecklessPrudence

It's not easy being a hermit. Especially not when random adventurers get lost and mistake your cave for a dragons' lair or the entrance to the goblin caverns or something of the ilk. I had to learn a few spells just to protect what little I have from their greedy hands. It takes days to make a decent bowl. And the rogues

Read more »

Challenge #01601-D140: Unseen Creatures

You washed two, now there's only one sock. Black Hole? Alternate dimension? Sir P'Terry's sock Eater? -- Anon Guest.

Even in the modern day, there are things unknown to magic or science. The hidden creatures that have so far evaded notice by the common and uncommon worlds. They eke out an existence in the forgotten corners. And live where you'd never notice them. One such creature is the line-dangling shoe lark, which exclusively nests in the shoes random people throw over the

Read more »

Challenge #01599-D138: Manifested Destiny

But the [Tech] is on the fritz due to what I believe would be classified as 'bombardment by an angry god', which violates your warranty, as we all know. -- RecklessPrudence

The Smudger hemmed and hawed over the broom. Ran a pendulum over the length of it and whistled backwards, the sure sign that something expensive was about to happen. "Are you sure you haven't angered any gods?" they said.

"Not to my knowledge," said Duji. She had her knitting out because

Read more »

Challenge #01591-D130: A Drain on Evil

"I mean, I mostly just want to have fun and help people in the process. And if sometimes that means I have to open a literal portal to Hell and drag its powers shrieking into the light of day, well, that's just how the cookie crumbles, y'know? That doesn't make me scary." -- RecklessPrudence

"You see," said Francine. "When I invented the empathetic energy extractor, the prototype ran on what I thought was an infinite resource. Love. It turned out that human

Read more »