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Magical Mayhem

A 216-post collection

Challenge #02095-E271: A Morning of Intense Regret

"Must have been a great night; I'm imaging thudding noises."

"It was a stupendous night, and it's not your imagination." -- Anon Guest

Marvin winced at the light making its way through his eyelids. It was too sharp for him to open his eyes, just yet. The booming thud shook him and stabbed his brain, and the whimper in his throat sounded like a roar and felt like knives on fire were coming out of him.

"Have we learned something?" Wraithvine murmured.

Marvin summoned his voice, a mere phantom of its former self. "Nev'r drink a tankard 'f somethin' served in tiny glasses?"

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Challenge #02085-E261: One Heartbreaking Revelation Far From Home

"Dragons are such majestic, Noble creatures!"

Drunk dragon forces its way through the doorway then collapses and starts snoring -- TheDragonsFlame

Marvin was grinning at everything around him like a child at their first Winterfeast Festival. He would giggle at odd moments and was almost vibrating with glee. Lady Anthe had her hood down for the first time since they had begun as an adventuring party because this was where the dragon-folk lived. Kobolds, Dragonborn, assorted Lizardkin, and actual real live Dragons

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Challenge #02076-E252: Omniphobia

"You said it wouldn't be scary this time!"

"Technically I said it wouldn't be a monster. "

"It's a dragon!"

"I stand by my statement!" -- OohLookShiny

[AN: This is before they meet and rescue Marvin in Dirt's Worth]

Wraithvine mentally ticked 'dragon' off the list of beasts that ze could make hir phantom steed appear to be like. The problem was that Kobolds like the freshly-renamed Chrysanthemum were renowned for their craven cowardice and apparently terrified of every possible mount they could

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Challenge #02075-E251: Safe Hide

When I first met you, I feared you, for I had heard the rumours and they weren’t pretty.

Then I got to know you. Your compassion saved me, your sympathy broke me, and your songs put me back together again, strange and misshapen but whole once again.

And now, after all that we’ve been through? Well, there’s no one I’d rather have by my side, friend. -- Anon Guest

First impressions are a son of a bitch, sometimes.

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Challenge #02059-E235: Betrayal is a Two-Way Street

“You really ought to learn not to be so trusting,” ze sneered. “The world’s a dangerous place.”

“Clearly you’ve never met a pissed-off human before.” She smiled. “Please, allow me to... enlighten you.” -- Anon Guest

The Human interlaced her fingers and twisted them about to make a sound like several walnuts being crushed at once. While the guards were wincing at that intolerable sound, she casually purloined one of their polearms and used it to stun the other one.

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Challenge #02058-E234: Microquest

Dragon Microbiologist. That is all. -- TheDragonsFlame

The beast had been spotted over rivers and streams. Its visits were always brief, but they were methodical. Which was why Sir Valiant had been able to catch it at this point.

"Hold," he demanded, when the dragon lit at this particular point in the river that fed the city its water. "What vile villainy do you have planned, foul beast?"

The dragon turned its mighty head and examined Sir Valiant with each eye. "Pardon?

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Challenge #02054-E230: Dirt's Worth

"Look I'm okay with you scapegoating this onto me-"

"What? Why!"

"But next time warn me first. Do you know how hard it is to turn a weak lie into a strong one with no background info?" -- OohLookShiny

"Okay," Marvin allowed. "But... I still need to know why. Most people react to being pushed under the omnibus with vengeance."

Lady Anthe sat on the table so she could level a glare at the Human Fighter. "I'm a Kobold. The first name

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Challenge #02049-E225: A Tiny Terror in Tulle

"You're my bestest friend ever!" "Because I supply you with deadly weapons?" "That's what only the best of friends would do!" -- TheDragonsFlame

[AN: Now I want a Google Search image with "Did you mean 'Bangladesh Dupree'?" in it]

It wasn't easy, working for Princess Hakenslash. She was going to be a fine Warrior Queen one day, presuming she survived to achieve the crown. She was eight, and already a terror in pink tulle and play fairy wings[1]. She wanted nothing

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Challenge #02048-E224: Small Miracle in a Bathhouse

I will follow you to the ends of the Earth with only mild complaining -- TheDragonsFlame

[AN: Callback to this because I like the concept]

So many miracles happened in Wraithvine's wake. But then, one could expect that sort of thing from an actual wizard. For a start, Wraithvine could make a gesture and everyone would not see her as a Kobold any more. They would see a Halfling, or a Gnome, or a Dwarf, or an Elven or Human child. It

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Challenge #02045-E221: What is Owed

(Person 1): "Ok, let's get one thing straight."

(Person 2): "Yes?"

(Person 1): Straightens painting hanging on wall -- TheDragonsFlame

Thief hunkered in a corner. She didn't know what she was thinking when she saved this Mage from the brigands, but now they feared their anger. Mages were glass cannons, it was true, but they were also vengeful shits who could turn -say- a kobold Rogue into a toad or worse. And Thief had lived her entire, brief life in fear of

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Challenge #02044-E220: One Post-Near-Wipe-Experience in a Dark and Dismal Dungeon

(Person 1): You Idiot!

(Person 2): I'm sure you're right, but why? -- TheDragonsFlame

"Okay," sighed Fanrel. "From the top. We're rescuing villagers from an evil cult that's into blood sacrifices. We use out best stealth to creep up on them while they're busy with the chanting. We're all nearly in position... and then you decide to leap up, scatter marbles all over the place and yell, 'Oo ma, oo ma, I can see your nickie-nahs'."

"It disrupted the ceremony," protested Jorgax.

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Challenge #02008-E184: What About Me?

The older jade-skinned female shook her head with a sympathetic smile - not angry, but understanding good intentions gone misinformed.

"Lana, you're young and determined, but also human. Tall, white, human. Not short, not green, and definitely not goblin. I appreciate you wanting to plan this 'goblin pride' rally thing, but it's kinda romanticised. Just because we mixed into human society doesn't mean we risk losing ourselves. We still know our history and have our beliefs and traditions, as crude and vulgar

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Challenge #02003-E179: Adventure is Out There

“I hate you.”

“You just saved my life! Plus, we both know you adore me.”

“Well, finding someone else to hate is too much work.”

“And risking your own life to save me wasn’t?”

“See? This is why I hate you. Nitpicking, and ungrateful.” -- Spotted

Everyone has heard of the Fisher King. Very few have heard of the Adventurer King, the one who decided to help his Kingdom by personally fighting the problems that plagued it. Unfortunately for Sir Dravyn,

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Challenge #01998-E174: Garry's God

Please write some more about the Goddess of Fools and her human sacrifices! That last one was such a cliffhanger! -- Anon Guest

[AN: That would be this story for those who don't have the time to scroll back that far. And I have to wonder... cliffhanger? The dude died and was headed for Paradise. That's pretty final IMHO]

She was about to collect her latest offering. A young man just before coming of age. He could see her, but his body

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Challenge #01976-E152: Low Rent Catchment

booooom "What the hell was that?" "Thunder?" "Are you nuts? It's a clear sky, there's not a storm for a thousand K's." -- Anon Guest

"Different kind of thunder," said Fouthet.

Somik glared at hir as if ze had grown another head. "There is only one kind of thunder."

"There's two," insisted Fouthet. "You're of age now, so you can sense the Hidden School." And just as Somik was about to argue, ze added, "It's where the mageborn go to learn their

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