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Challenge #01820-D359: Important Aspects of Station Maintenance

If a small creature falls asleep on top of you, you are required to stay put and not disturb said small creature. Any nearby are obliged to provide you with whatever you need to avoid disturbing the creature. -- TheDragonsFlame

Arjit had been meditating in a nexus known as Station's Chi by the local conglomerate of Nae'hyn. It had been exactly what people had recommended as a spiritual centre. The constant ringing of the wind chimes and the grinding of the whirligigs was the perfect symphony of white noise to take Arjit away from all her troubles. Let her abandon her sense of body and sort through everything in a calm and logical manner.

Only one problem remained unsolvable. A Skitty, a gengineered biological pest control unit, had settled on Arjit's lap. Arjit would ask what else could go wrong, but this Skitty was not only heavily pregnant, but also in labor. She hadn't given birth, yet, but there was a universal rule. Do not disturb small animals that have settled on you.

Arjit did not really wish to be host to a mother and skittens. There had to be a way to solve this that didn't involve staying there until the Skitty was ready to take her litter elsewhere. And didn't involve moving the cat at all. Arjit recalled that the Prophet Muhammad had cut his clothes asunder, rather than disturb the slumbering feline. Unfortunately for that plan, Arjit only had her ID with her.

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Challenge #01819-D358: Just Like That

“Ok, there’s a bear, and I have a stick. As such, there is only one course of action.”

Moment of silence

“[Name], no.”

“[Name], yes.” -- TheDragonsBlaze

"I can see a few things wrong with your general plan, Human Finn," said Storkaz, holding their Human at bay. "First, that is not a bear."

"Well, if it walks like a bear, grunts like a bear, and has fur like a bear..." shrugged Human Finn. "Might as well be a bear[1]."

"We're

Challenge #01818-D357: Gifts For the Mages

Seasonal gift giving. Christmas, New Year, Solstice, whatever. -- Anon Guest

It wasn't the first time that they'd been rounded up for their own good. But it was the first time that this was done with compassion. The food was tolerable, the accomodations fair enough considering the volume. They were allowed to keep their wands and their stuff. And, more to the point, this was one of the few times that the twins received Candlenights gifts.

The labels were impersonal. For a

Challenge #01817-D356: Adulting Test

Clean up inspired by looming arrival of Parents visiting. -- Anon Guest

It took two weeks for Amber's first place away from home to become a fucking dump. And the following three weeks only made it worse. It was easier to buy new things than it was to look for the old ones. The paths most trodden were the only places where the floor was visible. It was waist high, it was smelly, and it needed to be gone inside five hours.

Challenge #01816-D355: A Needed Sense of Urgency

Inspired desperation, a great motivator when Procrastination has been your buddy. -- Anon Guest

The ships' human had two modes. "I'll get to it," and "Ah, shit, why didn't I get on this sooner?" Which, though entertaining to observe from a distance, was not always the best thing in an emergency. Or in any situation laced with urgency.

That said, the human was fantastic at pulling miracles out of nowhere when under stress. The rest of the crew merely wished that such

Challenge #01815-D354: Complex Brain Chemistry

That first cup of coffee that finally gets your brain out of bed. -- Knitnan

Consciousness and cogniscence are two different states of being. One learns this quickly with a human in one's immediate vicinity. Folkax was still attempting to fathom it. The ships' Human was one of the ones with an irregular sleep cycle, and an even worse method of retaining wakefulness.

Human Ren would stumble out of their sleep nook with a complaining moan when they 'could not sleep anymore',

Challenge #01814-D353: A Deal's a Deal

A lonely person sells their soul to Satan to be their friend —phantomrose96, tumblr(?) -- TheDragonsFlame

"Anything your heart desires," said the lord of all evil. The standard contract was not only long but in incredibly myopic print. The only legible words were, sign here. "All for one little thing that you're not even certain could exist."

"I only want one thing," Marvin said, signing his name in blood. "A good friend."

Lucifer raised an eyebrow. "Oh... kay? Eternity of torment after

Challenge #01813-D352: Everything Necessary?

Emptying your pockets/hold-all to find needed I.D. Boggling the official with the stuff you "really, truly Need". -- Anon Guest

There is no single worst thing to carry everything you need in than a gigantic pocketless tote. Especially when your needs are unfathomable.

Dithaan listed the articles as ze removed them. As is the rule with all containers that held objects of assorted sizes, the largest and bulkiest things rose to the top. "Spare jumper, emergency hygiene pack, personal medkit,

Challenge #01812-D351: GNU Terry Pratchett

The four lesser horsemen of Panic, Bewilderment, Ignorance and Shouting took control of the room. -- Knitnan

There's a reason why lesser horsemen are lesser horsemen. They can't help but be what they are. Panic is a whirlwind of anxiety. Bewilderment can't find their own arse with an atlas. Ignorance says all the things your racist in-law does that just make you want to burn and die from the shame. Shouting is almost a relief, because all they are is LOUD.

And

Challenge #01811-D350: Special Classification

Aliens vs Parrots who imitate sounds (such as water coolers or alarms) -- TheDragonsFlame

Human Steev had a pet, which was also Stiiv. It was a bird. A Terran parrot known as an African Grey for reasons that were clearly obvious. And, like most parrots, it was the devil incarnate.

Terran Parrots are officially classed as weapons of mass destruction for reasons that quickly become obvious the more time one actually spends in the presence of one. They gnaw at anything within

Challenge #01810-D349: Who's A Pretty Boy?

Aliens vs (Talkative) Parrots -- TheDragonsBlaze

It had to be a human ship. Ugly. Functional. Battle-scarred and pitted with a million micrometeor impacts. But there was frozen precipitation and high winds incoming. Nothing could survive it better than a Deathworlder ship. So Tikkotz scurried inside and hoped that the human would be benevolent.

It was a huge space. Mostly made of metal, but there were softer areas. Seating. Bedding. Hangings, for some reason. There was no trace of the human, beyond that

Challenge #01809-D348: Uncanny Interaction

We like talking to inanimate objects so much, we've started making the technology for inanimate objects to talk back. -- TheDragonsFlame

People are well known for talking to their Roombas. Technology so stupid that it doesn't know where it's been, and can barely detect when it's trapped. Never before has a single, real world device trained intelligent beings to respond to a string of musical beeps.

And after a while, customers blogged about their Stupid Roomba Tricks. Comments like, "Mine just loves

Challenge #01808-D347: In Her Hands

Those wonderful Parental Moments that begin with the "Ah! Um! Mum! Dad!" -- Anon Guest

"I... can probably explain."

"I have all day," said Lyr Marken, Security Sub-Chief for the Elemeno JOAT quarter. "And let me remind you that I am a level six precog and I foresaw this, so. Let me just give you some time to think up a plausible lie."

Elaise took a deep breath. Thought of lying, and just surrendered to telling the truth. "Okay, so there's this

Challenge #01807-D346: For the Future

Political hot air. the Other candidate is always the worse thing that could happen. Unless of course they win your vote. Same Old, Same Old. Then someone manages to prove that Political Promises are actually an enforceable contract. -- Anon Guest

They say that a child's wish is the most powerful thing in the world. And it can be. In the mouth of the right child. But circumstances have to be very, very specific.

Seth was the adopted child of aggressively pro-life

Challenge #01806-D345: A Mundane Permanence

You see them everywhere, sausage sizzles, Craft Stalls, selling stuff to passers by - raising funds for Good Causes. Making the World a better place a few dollars at a time. -- Anon Guest

[AN: Less and less as various peeps reduce the abilities of these folks to do so]

When they came for the cake stalls, I said nothing because I was on a succession of diets. When they came for the sausage sizzle, I said nothing because vegetables were meant

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A 4669-post collection

Challenge #01820-D359: Important Aspects of Station Maintenance

Challenge #01819-D358: Just Like That

Challenge #01818-D357: Gifts For the Mages

Challenge #01817-D356: Adulting Test

Challenge #01816-D355: A Needed Sense of Urgency

Challenge #01815-D354: Complex Brain Chemistry

Challenge #01814-D353: A Deal's a Deal

Challenge #01813-D352: Everything Necessary?

Challenge #01812-D351: GNU Terry Pratchett

Challenge #01811-D350: Special Classification

Challenge #01810-D349: Who's A Pretty Boy?

Challenge #01809-D348: Uncanny Interaction

Challenge #01808-D347: In Her Hands

Challenge #01807-D346: For the Future

Challenge #01806-D345: A Mundane Permanence