Instant Story

Flash fiction fresh from my fingers to your mind!

Challenge #01349-C254: Ten Good Reasons Why You're Wrong

"Oh my god!"

"What?"

"You're a nineteen year old boy!"

"Yeah, so?"

"So stop puttering around with your knitting like a senile old woman!" -- OohLookShiny

Andrew took a deep breath in. Slowly let it out. "There are things you need to learn, mister complete stranger who decided to butt into my life. One: this is crochet. Two: I'm making blankets for homeless or abandoned kids in shelters. Three: this is an exercise to help me gain back some fine motor control after an operation."

Alex finished off the square and put his work back into his travel-project bag. He stood, revealing his full bulk to the weedy dude. So many people assumed he just carried a lot of crap with him because his youthful face didn't match the rest of his body. "Four. I find it a useful method to keep calm in stressful situations. Five. It's also a useful method of anger management." He flexed, then, pumping out his muscles so the stranger could take in the full effect.

"N-now I d-don't want any t-trouble..."

Alex relaxed a little, but only a little. He still loomed over the man. "Yeah? So why'd you start it?" He didn't wait for an answer. "Six. Fibrecrafts are a dying art and deserve to be maintained. Seven. Dismissing old women who knit as senile is not only sexist and ageist but also fucking stupid because knitting involves a literal ton of math. EIGHT!"

The guy flinched.

"What you just said to me was so goddamn toxic, it's a wonder the EPA don't haul you away for safe disposal. Nine. Hand-made fibrecrafts last longer and are better made than the factory-second, sweatshop shit you're wearing. Ten. I'm actually helping people. What are you doing with your time?"

He sat down and, glaring the dude right in the eye, picked up his hook and began another square. Everything in his posture said, I dare you to stop me.

The weedy interloper decided to move somewhere else. Alex kept an ear open for his annoying voice, just in case he decided to interfere in anyone else's otherwise okay day. When he got back to his therapist, he'd have to talk about how so many people decided to remain ignorant about things.

But for now, he had thread and hook, and counting. Alex would have to say that the ten good reasons method had actually stopped him punching someone's face in. That had to be a good thing.

Even if it looked like he might have scared that guy for life.

(Muse food remaining: 21. Submit a Prompt! Ask a question! Buy my stories! Or comment below!)

Challenge #01348-C253: That Escalated Quickly

Lilo Pelekai and Steven Universe -- Anon Guest

[AN: Pretty sure 90% of the Disney Channel visited Lilo, back in the day, so I'm bringing Lilo to Steven]

Steven was getting fast. And strong. And thanks to his newfound ability to leap around like a balloon, Greg didn't have to spend so much on a truck rental. Which meant that the beach stage was going up in record time.

Correction. It had gone up in record time.

"Whoah. You're getting too good,

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Challenge #01347-C252: Could They Pick a Worse Team?

I am a ____ agent, I have a voice synthesiser in my throat. I can do any accent you can think of! Unfortunately I've lost the instructions at the moment... And my voice box is stuck on shop demonstration. -- Anon Guest

"Héllo, Madarm. I am hére to see your studént Camila Rodriguéz."

The school secretary looked at the badge, and the agent, and grew a very concerned look.

"Yés. I am a PINATA agént, I have a voice

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Challenge #01346-C251: Purse of Holding

Like the Tardis it's 'bigger on the inside'. It can be anything carryable from a Ladies handbag (a notorious source of strange objects), to one of those pull along "granny" trailers, or whatever you like. -- Knitnan

"Here. You'll need this."

It looked like a small, leather pouch. There was some beading on it that had evidently not been designed with hard use in mind. But, it didn't feel like a small, leather pouch. It felt indefinably heavier. "What is this?"

"Bag

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Challenge #01345-C250: Well You Took Your Time

Prompt: the hollow coconut TONK noise that can be produced by tapping the right place on top of someone's head if their mouth is open. -- Gallifreya

[AN: Grats, you got me to hit myself on the head several times]

Rael was currently being a small, blue-black dog that 'just happened' to be where this backwards colony of humans had put Ambassador Shayde.

They had evidently landed with the best technology of their launch-era, but the process of building a colony and

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Challenge #01344-C249: Blindly Winning

Lion and Connie - without Steven -- Gallifreya

Steven? Connie opened her eyes. Pink fur. Cotton-candy mane. Steven's lion. She was in the middle of a small circle of clear air, or what seemed to be clear air. The meadow and the flowers under her feet soon vanished under the eldritch shapes of the obscuring fog.

"Where's Steven?" said Connie. "Do you know?"

Lion just licked her face.

There was... a Homeworld Gem called Moonstone. She had the power to summon obscuring

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Challenge #01342-C247: The Terra Curse

1) More has been added to the post about "aliens trying to invade and being foiled by wildlife" http://sharpestscalpel.tumblr.com/post/148783332263/professorofeljay-myurbandream-jabberwockypie

2) Quick, think of a couple of characters that got made for one of these prompts and write something about them -- Gallifreya

[AN: This puts the gap count down to 4. Also, callback to this post]

1)

The first Tyrvaki colony to settle picked what they thought was a nice place. It was nice enough for

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Challenge #01341-C246: Riders of the Apocollapse

The four Horsepersons of the Apocollapse(Not a typo), ride fourth and get in each other's way. -- Knitnan

[AN: It's officially 'apocollapse' now. It's a word that's long needed to happen]

"And now... we... um..." said Absentmindedness. "Wossname. Thing. It was on the tip of my tongue..."

"Ride?" suggested Mislaying.

"YEEHAW," Distraction gunned hir engine and raced off in the first direction that appealed to hir.

Two of the remaining three started their bikes.

"Shit," said Mislaying. "I lost my keys,

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Challenge #01340-C245: The Coming Apocollapse

Want to see more of your Minor Horsepersons of the Apocollapse (No that isn't a typo). Namely Absentmindedness, Clumsiness, Distraction, and Mislaying ride out. -- Anon Guest.

[AN: Had to flip some letters around to make a word make sense]

"I know I had it, I had it just five seconds ago..." murmured Mislaying

"HEY GUYS," yelled Distraction, "IT'S A BUTTERFLY AND IT'S REALLY COOL!"

"...whoops..." Something important shattered into a million pieces. Clumsiness blushed. "...um... fuck... shit... gotta get another one.

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Challenge #01339-C244: Signed, Sealed, and Ignored

If you write a letter of complaint or ask questions by handwritten letter, the recipient is duty bound to answer. Really good way to keep "The Hired Help" aka Politicians and Bureaucrats on their toes. -- Knitnan

Dear Employee, wrote Carval Seng. Letters that started like this were never a good sign for the recipient.

Seng wrote carefully and distinctly about the lack of maintenance between elections, of how people in hir district would like to see the orange of maintenance uniforms

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Challenge #01338-C243: Inconvenience Job

The dreaded 5 minute job. Almost always guaranteed to blossom into hours of frustration and searching for the 'right' tools. -- Knitnan

Time is money. Literally. Citizens of the Galactic Alliance pay for things in increments of time. And since the humans came along, some money has names.

For unknown reasons, five Minutes is a Zac. Ten Minutes is a Bob, and Thirty Minutes is known as the Five-Minute Job.

Human nicknames will forever confuse other cogniscents.

But not those cogniscents who

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Challenge #01337-C242: Unnecessary Invention

It's not only necessity, it's wire coat hangers, paper clips, and to quote Thomas Edison, "All you need to be an inventor is Imagination and a pile of junk." -- Knitnan

[AN: Edison probably stole that line from Tesla ;) ]

Station residents called it the Labyrinth, if they knew about it at all. Every station that's been around long enough acquires a zone that fades through neglect and into an area where people who don't want to be found are wont to hide.

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Challenge #01336-C241: Humans!

"Failure is always an option" -- OohLookShiny

"Look. It was either try it, or give up and die," said Kel.

"There was still a chance for death to not be an option," argued K'niith.

"Yes. And I took it."

"I meant," sighed K'niith, "that there was a chance that did not involve your insane gravity games."

Kel folded her arms. "It's called 'parkour' and it's a form of art."

"It's suicidal insanity, is what it is, you could have broken every bone

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Challenge #01335-C240: Indomitable

"1... 2... 3..."

Crash

"Now we know it's three seconds deep!" -- OohLookShiny

Humans. The Ch'voth had been essentially using them as cannon fodder for a passage of months before they realised two things:

First - humans were extremely hard to kill.

Second - their primary method of finding answers seemed to be 'throw things at it'.

It didn't matter what the question was. They would throw things at it. The Ch'voth theorised that most of their science evolved in the same

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Challenge #01334-C239: So Unfair

School 'Pain in the Anatomy': "Well, he'll either wind up in Jail or grow up to be an Archbishop." -- Anon Guest

Life is unfair. Anyone trying to tell you different is either trying to sell you something, or is one of the people who actively make life unfair. Such are the lessons drilled into us at school. Not by the teachers, oh no. They're still trying to sell us all the ideal that hard work earns good rewards.

The lesson is

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