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Humans Are Weird

A 177-post collection

Challenge #02863-G306: Nothing That's Worth a Lot

A human had a poetry book that they took everywhere with them and enjoyed sitting and reading when they had time. Admittedly, time could be few and far between with their job. One poem she recited softly to herself from time to time had her liaison curious and he asked what it was she was muttering to herself. Her reply confused him because she stated it was a poem about nothing. But how could it be about nothing? All such works are about something... right?

A Poem About Nothing

This is a poem about nothing.

No flowing words about gardens or trees.

No tales of the birds and the bees,

Because, this is a poem of nothing.

~

This is a poem about nothing.

No winking stars in the evening skies.

No mysteries or lovely eyes,

No, this is truly about nothing.

~

This is a poem about something.

Of this, I truly now know.

It’s so very odd how things can go.

Because, this poem is something about nothing. -- DaniAndShali

Companion Graith had to know what was in the book. It was Human Trent's primary comfort article. They used it, in Trent's own words, "to degauss". The pages of yellowing paper were treated with careful reverence and the whole thing had been rebound four times before Graith had met Trent, which meant that it was something that had been read and read again until the very substance of its makeup had to be replaced. This was something very important in their Human's life.

Of course, the fact that Human Trent didn't let it out of their personal aura was also a chief indicator. Of course, the trouble with taking a look was... Human Trent didn't let it out of their personal aura. There was, fortunately, one never-fail method that guaranteed the best chance of taking a peek. "Human Trent, may I also read your book of poetry?"

Human Trent smiled and brought the book out of their special protective locker pocket in their livesuit. "You'll think it's silly," they warned. "But every single one of these poems helps me feel better after a bad day."

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Challenge #02862-G305: Song of Triumph

For what is a man, what has he got? If not himself then he has naught, To say the things he truly feels, And not the words of one who kneels, The record shows I took the blows, And did it my way. -- Anon Guest

It was a Human song of triumph, so of course it contained references to violence and, because of the culture of origin, going it all alone. Which is ridiculous. Society doesn't exist on an individual basis.

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Challenge #02860-G303: ART!

They had some pre-shattering videos they wanted to show their friends, a mixed group of havenworlders and level one and level two deathworlders. Once everyone was seated, they turned down the lights and began the video on the large screen. People, human-looking, painted up all in blue, playing techno music on improvised instruments. A fun, amusing, experience for the humans, but maybe a little confusing, if still fun, for everyone else.

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLkfqwlBzZN1b_H5DYQX7F9Vfdcu8uMrTi -- Blue Rules

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Challenge #02852-G295: Her Name is Sweetums

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0TDYDNTK_oo -- Anon Guest

It had to be a service animal, because it was wearing Medik red and Therapy black. Typical to Human delineation of 'pet', it had a small hat attached to its head via a loop of elastic. That, in combination for the vest/leash arrangement was a clear sign that the Human on the other end of the leash would rather sever a limb than part with the animal.

It was also

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Challenge #02837-G280: A Listening Problem

The human was dragged into medical by their friends. Well, "dragged" is a bit of a strong word, considering that if the human really didn't want to go, they wouldn't have, but they weren't willing to risk injuring their friends by struggling too hard.

The problem? Hives. Bumpy, red, itchy hives, all over the human's body.

When questioned, they said "I'm allergic to stress." -- Anon Guest

"Look, I'm going to be fine," protested Human Hen, who was obviously not fine. "I

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Challenge #02835-G278: No Added Chemistry

And what, exactly, do you know of addiction? -- Anon Guest

"Just because I don't indulge in the standard recreational chemicals for my species doesn't mean I don't know what addiction is," argued Human Kae. "I seek my serotonin in other things. You might think they're safe, but they're harmful if I'm not on guard. You just haven't caught me in a spiral, yet."

Companion Riik puzzled at this. Sure, ze had recreational chemical issues and therapy for that was always a

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Challenge #02831-G274: Observer Effect

An extraterrestrial puts together a video showcase of human do-it-yourself and educational videos, open to the general public who wants to learn more about humans. They have even been smart enough to include offensensitivity warnings so havenworlders can avoid the appropriate films. Included in the film line up is:

Mythbusters

Nailed it

Naked and Afraid

The Darwin Awards -- Anon Guest

[AN: Of the four listed here, only one is in any way instructional other than "learn from my mistakes lol". Real

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Challenge #02828-G271: War Makes...

They had been sent in to rescue a high ranking official's daughter and had, erroneously, assumed she would be some weak, helpless, demanding, little flower that not only would be difficult to rescue, but would be a major headache, and pain in their rears, all the way through the escape and on the way back to the woman's home world. What they found, instead, was a strong, fierce, self-reliant individual who was as ready with a weapon as any of their team.

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Challenge #02823-G266: Please Don't

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QdoTdG_VNV4 -- Anon Guest

[An: Watch this. This is two people playing a piece written for an ENTIRE ORCHESTRA on glasses of water. There is an actual instrument called a glass harp and it looks really as weird as you might expect. It works on the same principal as the glasses but I think it's only a recent invention]

Humans will make music out of anything do not tell them they can't. They will remix

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Challenge #02803-G246: TFW Memed in Combat

here, have a rick roll -- Anon Guest

[AN: Link does not lead to a Rickroll but rather a six-second anime clip featuring someone's mondo BFG power attack]

Human Memetic attacks are something to watch. Preferably from a safe distance. Everyone knows the one about the attacking fleet that was brought to a standstill by the power of a Rickroll virus[1]. Thusly, they have learned to feat the threat of bringing Humans into any war.

Those gung-ho balding apes will try

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Challenge #02795-G238: The Ultimate Plasmotron 6000

While I’m playing some team based game

Some dumba22:

Ooo what’s over here~

Death chat:

[the entire enemy team] absolutely destroyed [dumba22] -- Anon Guest

The Humans were very still. There were twenty of them, each concentrating on a screen. It was utterly silent. One of them might mumble now and again, but otherwise, they were transfixed. The only noise was the movement of mice and the click of W A S D keys.

Companion Vresk was only sure of

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Challenge #02792-G235: Welcome to the League of Superlative Artifice

I liked the story about the Asian chef, who quickly made dinner from the would-be invaders.

I wonder what other adventures she and her crew would have?

Maybe their own version of a "beach episode"? Or perhaps the crew learn about a hobby she has, that she kept secret because she was embarrassed? Or maybe a new crew member arrives (he's a human too) and a love story arises?

P.S.

I really enjoy every story you wrote :D -- Tom

[AN:

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Challenge #02783-G226: Untranslatable

I wanted to sing, but it didn’t work translated to gal-simple. So I tried a mental translators, but then I learn that it most only scan the left side of the brain for the sentence structures. Singing comes from the right side. -- Anon Guest

[AN: There's growing evidence that the left-brain/right-brain stuff isn't as real as we once thought. However, there are other things that say it's real in very specific directions.]

Sometimes, you just got to sing. Sometimes,

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Challenge #02773-G216: Vent Words

(Unabashedly based on my grandmother and her go to "curse word")

H - "Crab apples, pineapples, and sauerkraut!"

A - "... I think my translator is broken. I got an offensensitivity warning on what you just said, but I think you just listed foods?"

H - "You shouldn't curse... It is rude." -- SilverRey

Humans are bizarre. This is acknowledged. Some Humans just happen to be more bizarre than others. For example: Most cogniscent species acknowledge the need for stresser/expressive words to

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Challenge #02757-G200: Say it With... ????

A xenobiologist decided to study the mating behaviors of many other races from the the weakest havenworlders to the strongest deathworlders. However, when it came to ... ah... HUMAN mating behaviors, well, things just got weird! -- DaniAndShali

It was the study of centuries, greatly aided by just hanging out in various public zones of crossroads stations and people-watching. Of course, the more invasive aspects of the study were a matter for each species individual fictions and documentaries. This study was about the

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