Humans Are Space Orcs

A 317-post collection

Challenge #02930-H007: A Gift in Kind

They were supposed to be a massive, mindless, killing machines, huge and terrifying to behold, they were thin, nearly hairless, and soft-bodied under their suits. I'd heard so much of these beings, we all have, that the idea of one of their ships docking at this newly built station scared many of us to nearly soiling ourselves. Galactic Law required us to let them dock, they were in need of aid, their ship damaged almost beyond recognition.

They were supposed to be massive, mindless, brutal savages. Our newly built dock is now strong enough to fend off an entire raiding Vorax fleet. All it cost us was giving them lodging and food so they could fix their ship. -- Anon Guest

There is one law of the sea that is inviolate, and also has become inviolate in open space. Always respond to a distress call, for the distress may one day be your own. The flag of truce has always come with the cry of help, and it is the worst and most venal of crimes to pretend distress in order to attack anyone coming to aid them.

Therefore, when the Human vessel's distress call was heard by Lilli Station, there was some cause for panic. This was a Havenworlder system, with a Havenworlder station, and all associated safety measures... but they had to answer.

Here we are, they said. They added, Please do not hurt us, we will supply what you need. Accommodations are being adjusted. The Phrajji aboard did their best with the toughest materials they had to hand. Using available information to make things ready for the Human horde that would surely come and take advantage of the situation. They even laid in offerings of live domesticated animals in the hopes that the Humans would eat those first and not feel inclined to polish off the cogniscent residents.

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Challenge #02903-G346: Don't Do It

Five Times Human Pib got Stuck and Needed to be Rescued, and One Time Human Pib did the Rescuing. -- Anon Guest

[AN: Mandatory callback link Which is but one tale among many.]

Fact: The Humans aboard the Jaunty Merchant had reproduced. This was not a great impact on the functioning of the ship as a whole until their spawn, a Human named Pib, learned to move around independently. Human Pib, in short succession, learned problem-solving skills and fast became a problem

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Challenge #02894-G337: Humane Accommodations

They were a killer. From the time they were young, they got into fights. It was almost daily. The first kill came when they were only 12, they couldn't stand bullies and the first one they killed was one of their parents. Why? The parent was cruel and often struck them and their younger siblings. From there, as they grew older, it was always the same. Someone would be a bully, someone would become cruel. They'd be warned, only once. Then out

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Challenge #02892-G335: An Encounter to Remember

Hey, InterNutter? Do you think we could get the enemy's view of this? I mean, seeing a human tripping big time on stims rushing their camp like that? I mean, some of the enemy survived to report the counter, right? That might be fun to see. Please?

https://peakd.com/fiction/@internutter/challenge-02745-g188-use-only-as-directed -- Anon Guest

They'd missed one. They'd missed more than one, and they knew it. But it was one that was dangerous. They were barely glimpsed, but all footage

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Challenge #02869-G312: Tolerance Levels

Human A: "Try this!"

Human B: "Is it hot?"

Human A: "No."

Human B: "Your not hot, or my not hot?"

Human A: "...it's not hot."

Human B: "..." takes a bite

Nonhuman Cremember: "Why is Human B crying while guzzling milk?"

Human A: "It's not hot!"

Human B: (takes a moment to stop guzzling milk)(snot and tears running down face) "I'm sensitive to capsaicin, and you eat raw ghost peppers for fun! Your 'not hot' is not my 'not hot'!" (goes

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Challenge #02861-G304: Well That Was Dumb

"Fuck!"

"Ow."

"...I'm bleeding." -- Anon Guest

Accidents happen quickly. Reactions to them differ. Humans have a shock response that insulates them from immediately feeling an injury. As a survival tactic, it's great for getting the people away from the threat, but in a more technologically advanced setting... it's disturbing to unprepared onlookers.

Human Dree had been working on something involving sharp tools and applied pressure. One of their multiple hobbies. The tool slipped, and the reaction was instant and automatic. "FLAKK!

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Challenge #02858-G301: Enough Talk, Let's Fight

Humans fighting against claws and big animals were common things to watch in reports.

But the true, bloody fight is only when humans were fist-fighting against each other. Punching throats, kicking stomachs, smashing head against walls. -- Anon Guest

All around the Alliance, there is a genre of disturbing footage known as Humans Fighting Things. It is not generally recommended for Havenworlder viewing. Achivaas all over the Alliance and the Fellowship of Terran Planets alike scour it all to be sure that

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Challenge #02838-G281: Balance, Skill, and Broken Bones

A group of deathworlder raiders makes the terrible, horrible, no good mistake of attacking a ballet dance troupe. -- Anon Guest

[AN: If you ever want a solid education on how metal Ballet is as an art, then read up on how the dancers break in their en pointe shoes and what it does to their feet. Ouch]

Half of the Humans on board this vessel were tiny. Child-sized, yet also adult. The other half were weirdly muscular. All of them were

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Challenge #02834-G277: Never Ask That

There was a loud explosion coming from the engine room, the ship was dead in the water, so to speak. The pirate looked at the humans in the hold, most of them still completely asleep from the gas attack, only a few coming around, and only one was wide awake. They were awash with mirth, laughing to themselves. The pirate demanded what was so funny. They grinned darkly at the pirate, then, and said in a tone that was both amused and

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Challenge #02816-G259: I'll Try to be Nice

"Nobody has to die today." -- Anon Guest

You can say a lot with small words. Wisdom comes in those with multiple uses. Five words can be a promise, a threat, a reassurance, or an absolute and utter lie. Humans use all of them at once, and pretend they knew what was the winner after the fact.

Unless the Ships' Human makes it very, very clear which one they're using, it's just better to play along. In the Case of the Valiant

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Challenge #02798-G241: Spit and Determination

This is a second installment for this prompt becuase this was a GREAT one but was a cliffhanger!

https://peakd.com/fiction/@internutter/challenge-02703-g146-gathering-for-time

They'd been on the deathworld for nearly 3 months, their human had lost so much weight his health had begun to deteriorate. The simple sugars extracted from the toxic flora were just barely enough to keep the havenworlders alive, and the human was not getting what he needs. The rescue ship arrived to see the human and havenworlders

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Challenge #02784-G227: An Edge Case

A: hey man are you ok?

B: .... yeah sorry, feeling a little burned out

A: ah, I see. Hey do you want some coffee after this? -- Anon Guest

Humans are resilient. Humans are robust. Humans are strong. Humans are also living beings with limits. There is only so much stress, devastation, and chaos that even a Human can handle.

Learning this was something of a hurdle after Humanity was accepted into the Alliance.

Witness Human Doe, who has apparently reached a

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Challenge #02777-G220: Signal to Noise

Chuckled “I sense death behind us”

The moment the human said that some ordinance were detonated behind us, and a Vicious growl to our south -- Anon Guest

Human methods of memetic communication leave much to be desired. One has to know a certain volume of Terran art forms, especially popular Terran art forms, in order to understand what a memetic Human is attempting to communicate.

In this example, a stylised Human is sitting in a means of public transit and giggling

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Challenge #02772-G215: To Aid in Aggression

It was a huge battle, they ended up having to ACTUALLY call for help in the form of human space marines. Why? Because these unknown creatures that had attacked the colonial world had been so powerful that the Vorax ships it'd passed had turned tail and fled as fast as it could, after seeing how easily it had overcome two of their biggest warships.

The humans actually were having a challenge with this battle, not just in space but on the ground.

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Challenge #02768-G211: Disturbing Deathworlder Deeds

Ki'it thought ze was ready. Ze had survived Human Kev's "oops"es, learned to anticipate Human Lin's "I know what I did wrong!"s, and even managed to halve zer dosage of calming medication after a half dozen of Human Ren's "uh-oh..."s.

This, however, was zer introduction to the dreaded, "Wheeeee!!!! Again!" -- Anon Guest

[AN: You are of course free to use any gender-neutral pronouns you love in prompts... it's just that I cannot conjugate anything else than ze/hir.

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