Humans Are Space Orcs

Challenge #02759-G202: Empirically Tested

I would love to see Mythbusters in Space! You know, where some humans have seen the original old videos of it and decides to do a new mythbuster series based for their era? It'd be cool! -- DaniAndShali

[AN: In light of recent losses, I have debated having a Human Grant in this one and... honestly... I didn't want to risk disrespect to his memory]

"We all know how Human drama has historically portrayed asteroid fields," said Human Steve at a planning table. Ze, and hir co-host, were helpfully labelled for newcomers.

"Lies," said Human Bob, and gestured to a screen displaying a ship dodging space rocks left, right, and centre. An ancient audio clip played a sound-bite that said, "It's only a model," as if the watching audience couldn't tell.

"Visually appealing lies because we went into several asteroid fields and this was what we saw," Steve gestured to a display that held lots of black, some stars, and a few visual augmentations pointing out actual asteroids and the distances they were from the viewer.

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Challenge #02745-G188: Use Only as Directed

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aimo_Koivunen

Sometimes, Humans do stupid Things. Most of the time, they work out well. However, only seldomly someone takes 30 Tabs of Pervitin (Meth) has an "Adventure" like this and lives to tell the Tale. -- Mike666

[AN: Link contains references to drug use and some side effects that should have honestly killed the dude. Also the GIF version of this story going around Tumblr is hilarious]

Humans hold some very interesting records. They also

Challenge #02738-G181: Stick Together or Fall...

The strength of the team is each member, the strength of each member is the team -- Anon Guest

Humans have so many sayings about their pack action. There is no I in Team. Teamwork makes the dream work. We stand together or we fall apart. If you needed any further proof that Humans are pack animals, there you go. It's coded into their daily axioms.

It comes to the fore when they work together as teams. They come to know each

Challenge #02733-G176: The Old One Two

Hey if I fight back it would be considered self-defence right? -- Anon Guest

"Pro tip, kid. Don't ask that kind of question when you're surrounded by ten armed adults," said Pirate Vlex. They were facing down a small, scrawny Human who the crew had been feeding and coaxing out into company like a Human might do for a stray cat. They were a wild one, wearing whatever fit their body and not caring for any conventions about what should be worn,

Challenge #02731-G174: A Cautionary Tale

“If you want to hurt a man, do not target him. Target what he loves. Take that which he holds dear to his heart and twist it, corrupt it, or destroy it altogether. Then and only then will you hurt him in a way that he will feel in his soul. But take heed. When you hurt a man in this way, you twist him, corrupt him, drive him to heights of rage never before thought possible. You will have turned that

Challenge #02727-G170: Doing What You Can

The human was not the ship's human. They were a passenger. They were also paralyzed from the waist down. When she ship crashed, when the human's movement assistive device was rendered inoperable, when the human found themself trapped in the wreckage with half a dozen fellow passengers, all either injured or too distressed to move... Well. A sufficiently determined human with two working limbs, several cases of dental floss, a non-operative movement assistive device, and six people to rescue...is still going

Challenge #02720-G163: A Short Sharp Lesson

Have you even seen humans stomping their feet while chanting the same thing all at once? It’s sometimes hard to believe they’re not a hive mind https://youtu.be/PmILOL55xP0 -- Anon Guest

[AN: Video linked contains swearwords and is a war scene]

They said the Human colonists were sessile. They were weak and vulnerable. Look at them, not a single weapon in their entire set of settlements. They were fat and lazy. Allegedly. I learned, just as many of

Challenge #02713-G156: Pax Origins

A shockingly smart and devastatingly cruel crew track, hunt, raid, and kill the biggest threats to peaceful ships. -- LatinoThor

They called themselves Dragons, for the ancient tradition marking hazardous seas with, Here There Be Dragons. Their territory was astonishingly vast for what encounter logs suggested was one ship. The last records in the surviving black boxes stated that one ship was seen, but that didn't mean that just one ship was there.

Authorities were slower to act about the attacks, since

Challenge #02703-G146: Gathering For Time

A human with a fascination with the history and preparation of toxic plants for food is caught in a survival situation, on a death world filled with toxic plants, with a group of havenworlders who require simple sugars. With a scanner, personal knowledge of ancient human techniques for purging toxins from potential foodstuffs to make them edible, and a time limit based on the amount of prepackaged food that survived the crash, this scholar has to find a way to process certain

Challenge #02687-G130: In Memory of-- Oh Wait

Human: What's everybody so upset about?

Crew: You're here? But you told the Last Lie!

Human: Don't you know me by now? I really hate lying. -- Anon Guest

"Wait," said Human Jef. "Are you mad that I'm alive?"

This quickly turned the mood, but not by much. "Of course not," said Companion Ryl. "We were mourning your loss when you turned up at your own memorial."

"And you were saying such nice things about me until you said, Oh flakking hell,

Challenge #02684-G127: Winner Winner?

I don't know if this even a thing in other parts of Earth, but in my country very popular thing is eating cartilage from chicken legs just like every other part of meat. Foreigners are saying that this sound is the most disturbing one they ever heard. It's like very loud cracking bone.

What if herbivore heard this sound and automatically just started to look for predator in absolute terror? -- Anon Guest

[AN: Oh holy freaking Powers That Be, my daughter

Challenge #02680-G123: Small, Cute, and Terrifying

Doctor: Human, you need to take it easy. Rest. Don't do anything strenuous for the next week.

Human: Alright, I'll stay at home and watch the kids.

Doctor: From what I know of human young, that is strenuous. -- Escla

[AN: Pffffft...]

The Humans had a saying for everything. Some have been adjusted slightly to be more inclusive, but the relevant one in this time and space was, No being is an island. Perhaps, with an added dash of, It takes a

Challenge #02672-G115: Back From the Deepest Well

It had been years since ze had been seen last, though not nearly as long as had been estimated, wagered or theorised. When a derelict, cobbled together ship limped into The Blackstump research station. it had seemed to come from come from beyond what was known and explored space, and from the entirely the wrong direction from which the occupant was last seen.

The Return of Andi the Undying

https://steemit.com/fiction/@internutter/challenge-02156-e327-they-ll-be-back -- Adam in Darwin

The ship was

Challenge #02670-G113: Inspired Desperation? Entertainment!

H: Did you know that you can use Duct Tape to patch your space space suit a pinch?

A: I believe you are trying to deceive me. To make me feel better about the situation you have got us into.

H: Aww. Don't be like that. It works, I promise, I've done it before.

A: That does not surprise me. -- Anon Guest

"We only have soft atmospheric livesuits. They're not rated for micrometeor impact."

"No worries," cheered Human Adam. "I've got

Challenge #02669-G112: The Immortal Master

Some humans fight with blades, those who live on worlds that allow it, use firearms. Or for those aboard stations and ships, crossbows. Me? I refuse to use any of that. My body is my weapon. Sure I carry a utility knife, don't most of us? But it's never been used to draw blood. With a single blow I can knock a man down, with a well-placed kick I can knock over a being the size of a tree. My hand, small

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A 316-post collection

Challenge #02759-G202: Empirically Tested

Challenge #02745-G188: Use Only as Directed

Challenge #02738-G181: Stick Together or Fall...

Challenge #02733-G176: The Old One Two

Challenge #02731-G174: A Cautionary Tale

Challenge #02727-G170: Doing What You Can

Challenge #02720-G163: A Short Sharp Lesson

Challenge #02713-G156: Pax Origins

Challenge #02703-G146: Gathering For Time

Challenge #02687-G130: In Memory of-- Oh Wait

Challenge #02684-G127: Winner Winner?

Challenge #02680-G123: Small, Cute, and Terrifying

Challenge #02672-G115: Back From the Deepest Well

Challenge #02670-G113: Inspired Desperation? Entertainment!

Challenge #02669-G112: The Immortal Master