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Dear Diary

A 3741-post collection

Happy Birthday, Miss Chaos

My darling little girl is now a Difficult Teen(tm) at officially thirteen today.

I haven't got her anything for a present just yet. But she does have free license to pig out on whatever she wants, today. Which is going to include dinner at Hoggies, cupcakes at school, and a caramel mud cake in the evening.

On the plus side, I do have all day to wander around and figure out what might gain miss Chaos' interest.

Or I could give her Google Play money, which she can use on fun things on her phone.

I dunno.

I feel like I'm being a Horrible Parental, but Miss Chaos is at that stage where they're difficult to buy for.

Meanwhile, master Mayhem has fallen under the influence of Lurgi and is taking a day of rest.

Today's going to be... 'fun'.

Lurgi, Wheezing, and Other Noise

Lurgi: The seasonal sniffles of the It's-Going-Around have definitely hit, if my crunchy eyes are any indicator. Still living on Shamdy and hoping for the best and peeing like a champion.

Wheezing: The curse of the season has bit me on the arse and I actually horked up a small bronchial cast this morning. Gasp. The bad news is, I swear I had some atrovent nebules somewhere and I can no longer remember where the hell I left the fuckers. They have

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Post-indulgence Regret

Broke keto for Pripa's day. And there was cheesecake. And fudge. And ice cream...

So I woke in the morrow with Sausage Fingers. Because retaining water is one of the things my body does when it gets carbs. Other signs of carb overdose include lack of focus, memory problems, and general fluffiness of head.

So this is going to be brief.

So that I can get on with the whatnot of my shit.

I have discovered that a dearth of potassium can

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Merry Pripa's Day

To all those Primary Parentals who stay up late, wake up early, sit through sickness, and fret about the health of your little darlings... Grats.

You made it another year without throttling the little shits. Through angst, anguish, frustration, and fear. You made it. And some of them might actually be grateful for the effort.

I'm awake at Awful in the morning because of the so unfabulous combo of Sneezin' and Wheezin' Season plus low pressure system plus what feels like an

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Sneezin', Wheezin' and CYCLONE Season

If there's anything worse than Sneezin' and Wheezin' Season, it's that plus fucking Low Pressure Systems making my face firkin hurt.

Today's episode of Fuck My Life began at half-past one in the morning and only abated because I finally got to the Ibuprofen plus Acetaminophen at 8ish. For Australians: Neurofen and Panadol. For the Americans: Nurofen and Tylenol.

I don't know any other nation's brands. Fill me in. I love to learn things.

So yeah. Spotty sleep. Painful face. An air

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Aah, Friday

A busier Friday than normal, but still... a relative day of rest for this nerd.

But it's also a cleaning day, so that means I'm working a lot more than normal. Usually, on a Friday, it's all relaxed despite having a thousand words to generate and a son to fetch from Banyo.

Today? I'm not so sure.

I have to make a phone call to talk to some people about getting Mayhem's phone fixed so that it's not a brick any more.

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BBC SOP - FEFO

For those amongst the acronym challenged - BBC stands for the British Broadcasting Company. The public television since whenever.

SOP is Standard Operating Procedure. For instance, the standard operating procedure for politics is lie, cheat, and rack off with a golden parachute.

FEFO is new. It's something Beloved and I coined after absorbing a couple of episodes of a new thing from the BBC. It stands for this:

Four Episodes, Fuck Off

We've seen a lot of this with high-quality BBC products.

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Well, Fuck

Okay. Here's the situation.

  • Cocoa contains carbs and I need to figure out the content of one button to keep my hot chocolates ketogenic
  • Mayhem has a conference with his guidance counsellor and I discuss his grades
  • I need new windshield wipers
  • Time is growing ever closer to the release of a better Apple Lappy for my first actual Earned Laptop
  • All my funds are tied up in other shit
  • Including Mayhem's traineeship [$2K]
  • And paying for my car rego [$600+]
  • My
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My Face Hurts

There is a low pressure system somewhere. I can feel it in my left eye orbit. Starting at the bridge of the nose and graduating into the lower half of my eye socket. At least, thanks to some Panadol, the pain has ebbed from reaching my left temple and threatening to graduate into my teeth.

I paid $3K to have my nose fixed and therefore suffer this for potentially the rest of my life. Huzzah? The bonus, that I snore less harshly

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Carb Hunt?

It's a public holiday, and there's nothing Australia loves more than a long weekend. So of course we're having a good old fashioned slob day. Neither my Beloved nor I have left our bed, and I doubt my little darlings have done so either.

My Beloved insists that I'm somehow doing carbs, all because my tum is a little rumbly this morning, and I stated out loud my desire for some snackage.

My first thought: Bitch, where?1.

I don't actually eat

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Well, shit.

I haven't found the time or inclination to contribute to Murder Dollhouse or the nut notes I have on it. And I can't really give another thesis on firkin fanfiction like I did last week.

So I think I'll rabbit on about how tricky it is to work out location details. Especially since I know only what I've seen on TV about how America works. And I don't really want to set this in Australia because only Australians want to read about

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Setting up PLNs

Mayhem says he's ready to take his written test. The problem with this is single - TIMING.

  • Dept of Transport is only open during business days.
  • And is only open until about 4PM
  • Chaos' bus arrives sometime between 3 and 4
  • It takes 15-20 minutes to get to the closest Dept of Transport (not including finding a park)

So my options are:

  1. Get someone to wait for Chaos on a pre-set afternoon and drive Mayhem straight to the place
  2. Wait for Chaos
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Hot Keto Chocolate V1.0

I did some experimentation last night, based loosely around this video recipe for frozen chocolatey treats we Keto-cooks call "fat bombs".

The result has a definite buttery undertaste and I'm wondering if it would work better with cocoa butter instead of the regular dairy butter.

BUT... if you're on Keto and craving a little of that lovely winter warmer, here's the Alpha version:

Hot Keto Chocolate V1.0

Instruments
  • 1 Microwave
  • 1 Mug
  • 1 Teaspoon minimum [people who don't want to wash
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Oh shit, it's Thursday

Amazing how the week flies by.

I got some more cleaning happening, today. And this is after cooking up a whole mess of Cauli Cakes for Chaos.

On the pro side, I have at least a fortnight's worth of cakes from one and a half heads of cauliflower. On the no side, I have a fuckbunch of washing up because making cauli cakes gets intense.

On the super pro side, I got Beloved to cook us up some cheeseburger soup, which sounds

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Here's the PLN

I do my writing duties, and then I gather together the bits and bobs for Cauli Cakes just... make those for however much time I've got before the brat run in the afternoon.

Cauli cakes take a while to do because they're a slow cook. Even little pan cakes in egg rings take ages because you have to cook the cauliflower in there. Which also makes certain that the bacon bits in there get cooked too. Twenty firkin minutes per pan cake.

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